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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27159124">Fool For You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilMsSoftserve/pseuds/LilMsSoftserve'>LilMsSoftserve</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Big time Self-indulgent, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Claude von Riegan is a Little Shit, Claude von Riegan-centric, F/M, Mutual Pining, My Unit | Byleth Has Emotions, POV Claude von Riegan, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, basically Claude finds out he's in love, no beta we die like Glenn, she's figuring them out</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:48:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>49,098</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27159124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilMsSoftserve/pseuds/LilMsSoftserve</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the calamity at Remire, Claude begins to confront the depths of his feelings for Byleth. However, after more tragedy strikes, he also discovers how crazy her past (and present) is. Rhea wants something from his Professor, who has become imbued by the soul of the supposed Goddess. But Claude just wants her by his side, as his most trusted friend.</p><p>Claude POV of the last few chapters of Part 1.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>140</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Dumb struck with the pure luck to find you here.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>Chapter 1</strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>Dumb struck with the pure luck</strong><br/>
<strong>to find you here.</strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">The air tasted like ash and smoke. Small fires still lingered around the ruins of Remire, ones that Captain Jeralt’s knights and mercenaries hadn’t yet put out with the nearby sand and water from the humble river close by. Atop the highest dais that overlooked Remire, the one that Thomas – <em>Solon</em> – had been jeering at them on, Claude took a breath despite the poor air quality around him.</p><p class="p1">“What a mess…” he sighed quietly at the sight before him.</p><p class="p1">The House Leader of the Golden Deer could distantly see the rest of the deer and the transfers who had joined their class. They were aiding the folks of Remire who were collected for evacuation. The healers healed while others passed out water, blankets, and other supplies. Some who were well-intentioned, he knew, were probably trying and failing to offer small words of comfort.</p><p class="p1">Alongside Jeralt’s men, Claude had been running in out of the rubble. He helped Raphael, Leonie, and the other stronger members of their class carry back townsfolk who were trapped under debris and assisting those who were too injured to walk.</p><p class="p1">Honestly, they had all handled the situation much better than Claude expected them to. Maybe it shouldn’t of been surprising. They had come so far. Grew while facing trials together. Flourishing under their teacher’s guidance. He knew they were progressing quicker than the other classes.</p><p class="p1">Claude also knew that was why students like Felix and Petra had transferred – because they had known they would see results faster. Others had simpler reasons, like Sylvain and Linhardt, (to observe Byleth, just in different ways). Ashe had joined after recognizing their professor’s efforts to see them all succeed, despite the hardships they would inevitably have to face in battle. He still spoke with her about Lonato sometimes. Mercedes, Dorothea and Bernadetta had also taken enough of a liking to their professor that they had transferred at different points during the year.</p><p class="p1">To think they had started off as a rag-tag group of eight, mis-matched fawns, and now they had eagles, lions, and an ever-jubilant Flayn in their den. Sometimes the Ashen Wolves even joined them. Plus there was Cyril, who joined them now and then despite not being a student.</p><p class="p1">They all worked soundly together, despite their differences. Claude knew the exact reason why they were able to. It was thanks to the the once blank-faced women who unlocked their hearts and earned their trust.</p><p class="p1">Who was earning <em>his</em>. Desperately, he wanted to believe those feelings, but the ever-growing mysteries surrounding Byleth acted like a wall in his mind. A wall he could chose to climb over or not. She neither beckoned him closer, nor pushed him away. She was leaving the choice up to him, and Claude was grateful for it.</p><p class="p1">A gust of wind blew through the trees and the pungent smell of smoke brought his attention back to the dais.</p><p class="p1">Claude breathed outward, blowing the drifting smoke away from his face. Idly, he kicked at the dusk under his riding boots and turned around to survey the area around him.</p><p class="p1">There had to be <em>something; </em>some kind of evidence left behind by Solon and his goons. Evidence that would tell them… well, <em>something! Anything! </em>How long were these mages in disguise here, slowly poisoning this village? Solon must have been here pretending – as he had done at the Monastery – to be a kind, old scholar. But why? Why this village? What was this so called ‘experiment’ for? To simply sew and wreak havoc? And for what?</p><p class="p1">
  <em>He nearly killed them all…</em>
</p><p class="p1">The revelation of Thomas’ true identity felt like too much and too little all at once. A small part of Claude had actually trusted the old man. Thomas had never tattled on him for staying up too late in the library, snooping for forbidden secrets about the church. He had even offered Claude and Byleth information one time about the Holy Relics. And yet…</p><p class="p1"><em>I guess he really was just trying to stir the pot. But, why? He called Teach the ‘cursed Fell Star.’ What the hell does that mean? </em>He kicked his boot against the ground again, deep in thought.</p><p class="p1">“There you are!”</p><p class="p1">Claude startled, his hand flying to the hilt of his iron sword before just as quickly falling back to his side. It was Hilda who jumped into his line of sight.</p><p class="p1">“Claaaude,” she whined, a slight note of irritation in her tone, “you can’t just go wandering off like that! I was starting to worry that those weirdos came back and kidnapped you or something! We still need your help with the townsfolk, you know? As a future leader, don’t you think you should talk with them?”</p><p class="p1">“Hilda….This isn’t even Alliance territory,” Claude said, running a hand through his hair.</p><p class="p1">He felt tired and exasperated due to the day, and didn’t really want to deal with trying to placate upset people too soon after they had lost their livelihoods. Any words he could offer would, in this moment, fall on deaf or angry ears. What was he even supposed to say? Action mattered now. Answers were what these people deserved.</p><p class="p1">“I’m a little too old to be kidnapped. <em>And, </em>believe it or not, I’m not done working.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh, is that right? I’ll bite then.” Hilda dusted off her ash-covered skirt and folded her hands neatly over each other. The faux picture of dignified innocence. “How is staring off into space and kicking up dirt ‘working?’”</p><p class="p1">“You’re kind of the last person qualified to lecture me about work effort, Hilda. Besides,” he shot her smirk, “aren’t <em>you</em> avoiding work right now by finding me instead of helping the others?”</p><p class="p1">“I am not!” She shook her fists at him, quickly loosing her lady-like composure. A distant look quickly overtook her eyes. “I was really worried. I’m serious, Claude. What we saw today…”</p><p class="p1"><em>Oh.</em> “I know. Sorry.”</p><p class="p1">A moment of silence passed between them. His ears still rang with the screaming of the infected and he could feel where the fires had nipped his skin. His hands were burnt and blistered from the rescue efforts he helped with. The horrors from earlier were still too fresh in their minds. They couldn’t joke around like they usually did together.</p><p class="p1">“Anyways,” he broke the silence, “you’re all perfectly capable of handing out reserves to people without my supervision. I think Teach and Jeralt also don’t need my assistance in planning out our route back to the Monastery with the survivors. They’re pros at this, and in charge here – not me. I’m doing what I do best.”</p><p class="p1">“And what would that be exactly, von Riegan?”</p><p class="p1">For the second time, Claude was startled off-guard, this time by the sound of a rougher, deeper voice. Turning on his heel, he met Captain Jeralt’s tired eyes as he ascended the stone stairway, flask in-hand and an angry frown cutting across his face. Claude hoped that angry look wasn’t specifically directed towards him.</p><p class="p1">“Investigating!” he chirped back, the faux picture of unwavering confidence. “Snooping, searching, looking for clues. The thought of our dear old librarian getting away so cleanly without consequence isn’t really sitting right with me…” Claude couldn’t keep the bitter edge out of his voice as he trailed off.</p><p class="p1">Jeralt took a moment to take a swig from his flask, sighing as he screwed the top back on. “I get that you’re upset, kid, really I do. But this village is as good as gone. Those shit-heads probably burned away their evidence before we even arrived, if they were even dumb enough to leave any behind. So forget about it.”</p><p class="p1">The Captain certainly made a good point. Claude deflated. “That’s… you’re right, of course.”</p><p class="p1">Maybe the polluted air was effecting his critical thinking skills. Or maybe the fact that he hadn’t foreseen Thomas’ betrayal felt enough like a personal failure that it left Claude grasping at nothing in a desperate attempt to fix things.</p><p class="p1">He felt Hilda pat his shoulder sympathetically; a simple show of camaraderie that he appreciated.</p><p class="p1">“While you were up here kicking dirt,” Jeralt continued, “you missed another surprise guest.”</p><p class="p1">“I wasn’t just kicking– what?” Claude’s mind stumbled a bit, his head catching up to Jeralt’s words. <em>I’m too tired for this.</em> “Who?”</p><p class="p1">“The Flame Emperor.”</p><p class="p1">This time, Claude wasn’t surprised by the new voice that answered him, his eyes already trained towards the staircase as Byleth walked up to join them.</p><p class="p1">She looked livid. Angrier than he had ever seen her before. It was decidedly unpleasant.</p><p class="p1">“He disappeared as quickly as he came,” she said. “We missed our chance to capture him.”</p><p class="p1">Claude took another deep breath of the ashy air around him. “What did he want, Teach?”</p><p class="p1">Byleth gripped at the hilt of her legendary sword. “He said that he wasn’t a part of this calamity. That he hadn’t know Solon’s plans. He had the gall to ask me to join him, too. Said that the Sword of the Creator would help to prevent this from happening again.”</p><p class="p1">She glanced down at the Holy Relic she kept on her hip, her brows furrowing further in a manner that Claude understood as something more thoughtful than angry. That small change in Byleth’s expression was strangely enough to help him find his composure.</p><p class="p1">He was happy to question things with her. It was something he was good at, after all.</p><p class="p1">“And do you believe any of that?” he asked, striding up to his Professor. Hilda followed behind them, and the group of four all began their descent down the stairs. Claude matched his pace besides Byleth.</p><p class="p1">“Whether he was being truthful or not doesn’t matter,” she stated flatly as they reached the bottom, continuing down the ruined dirt road.</p><p class="p1">She ironed out her expression into something less severe as she met his eyes. “He’s still, at some capacity, in league with those mages. If he truly is an Emperor with any compassion, he would have never let Solon just do as he pleased in the first place. He’s obviously deranged. This Flame Emperor should have a stronger grip on his subordinates, including the Death Knight.”</p><p class="p1">“Speaking of,” she continued, looking up at where the aforementioned knight had been, “the Flame Emperor was there with him when they had kidnapped Flayn and Monica. Before the Emperor disappeared with the Death Knight, he said that he would ‘reforge the world.’”</p><p class="p1">She glanced back at Claude briefly, her face falling oddly neutral. “A bold statement to make from someone who lacks authority. What is he the ‘Emperor’ of? Just flames?”</p><p class="p1">Claude huffed a single laugh. Was she making a joke? Was she cheering him up?</p><p class="p1">He smiled at her as she looked back at him. Maybe it was his imagination, but her eyes looked to brighten up a bit at the sound of his laughter.</p><p class="p1">“Good one, Teach! Though, I’m not laughing at your reasoning at all. I actually agree with your logic. You can’t work in-step with a murderous bad guy and then claim that you’re not so bad yourself, even if you weren’t directly involved.”</p><p class="p1">Claude threw his hands behind his head, recounting his theories before continuing, “We don’t know if the Flame <em>‘Emperor’</em> is actually the one calling all the shots. I’m pretty sure he just gave himself that prestigious title. You know, for the intimidation factor.” He smiled Byleth’s way again as she took in his words, looking at her feet as she thought them over.</p><p class="p1">At least now that furious expression she had been wearing was gone, and he was glad she was making the effort to reign in her wrath, if anything for the sake of the class.</p><p class="p1">Though Claude couldn’t blame her for feeling so angry. Remire had been important to her and Jeralt to some degree as mercenaries. A familiar place to return to for warm food, a roof over their heads, and a rest from traveling. They had <em>known</em> these people. He was glad to distract her from those bad feelings with his signature questions and theories. And Byleth always humored him.</p><p class="p1">“Perhaps you’re right… that may be true. Admittedly, I never questioned it until now.” She raised her head and stared at Jeralt’s back. The Captain wandered off to his nearby units as they reached the entrance where everyone was gathered.</p><p class="p1">“But still,” Byleth said, “we know they share some goals. The ‘Emperor’ had some sway over the Death Knight after all, and Solon mentioned Flayn and her blood earlier as well. It’s possible that they’re at discord with each other.”</p><p class="p1">“That could be true,” Claude nodded. “It’s frustrating. We hardly have knowledge about <em>any</em> of the members of this nefarious little group. What could be their overall goal–”</p><p class="p1">“UUUGGHH, you two!” Hilda groaned from behind them.</p><p class="p1">Both Claude and Byleth turned to the girl, who stretched her arms high above her head, rolling her neck. Claude could hear it crack a bit.</p><p class="p1">“Let’s save this sort of talk for later, okay? This seriously isn’t the time for theory crafting. Not that you two aren’t <em>great</em> at it, but we really need help figuring out our route back to the Monastery right now.” Hilda batted her eyes a little too sweetly, an action that both her targets were immune to. “We took the quickest route to get here, but now with all these people…”</p><p class="p1"><em>Leave it to Hilda to keep others on task, </em>Claude thought to himself.</p><p class="p1">“You students don’t have to worry about the route back.” Byelth replied, her attention snapping to their meager caravans.</p><p class="p1">It wasn’t enough to escort everyone. In their haste to arrive, they had no time to prep for an evacuation.</p><p class="p1">Byleth eyed the forty or so villagers collected for a moment before continuing, “I want you both to continue handing out emergency supplies and figuring out who can walk and who can’t. The injured, the young, and the elderly need help into the caravans. Others too tired to walk can ride with the Captain's units.”</p><p class="p1">She returned her sharp blue eyes to Claude’s for a moment. “Claude, check in with the rest of the class when you get the chance. See if they noticed anything of note during the fight that might give us some answers. I’ll continue to think over our talk. We’ll meet later.”</p><p class="p1">“You got it, Teach.” He saluted a goodbye and ignored Hilda’s groans as he followed her back to their classmates.</p><p class="p1">It was going to be hard journey back to their temporary home. But Claude felt he could think more clearly now thanks to his discussion with Byleth. They certainly didn’t have answers yet, but his Teach had the strange ability to reset his mind so he could see things from a clearer point of view. Like a fresh breath of air.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">◊◊◊</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">
  <em>World domination. ‘To reforge the world.’ That’s their goal.</em>
</p><p class="p5">That had been Byleth’s answer for Claude once they had settled back in at the Monastery. Briefly, he had thought she was trying to make another attempt at a joke. Yet, it made more sense than he liked.</p><p class="p5"><em>It’s a broad answer, but they seem like people with some pretty broad ideas.</em> <em>Kinda like me. Except forced domination through violence is the opposite of what I want. I certainly don’t want to sacrifice innocent people as an experiment.</em></p><p class="p5">Claude raised his head up, focusing on the present scene before him. He sat on one of the benches in the courtyard outside the House classrooms. The cold air of the winter moon made him shiver. While it didn’t snow at Garreg Mach, it was still cold enough for long, puffy cloaks over winter uniforms.</p><p class="p5">Despite the chill, the participants for the White Heron Cup pranced and twirled about in the courtyard. He could only assume the exercise kept them warm.</p><p class="p5">
  <em>Why did the staff have them practice outside?</em>
</p><p class="p5">Included amongst the participants was Hilda, who had just completed a rather impressive mock-performance. She grinned widely at Byleth, who in turn smiled pleasantly back.</p><p class="p5">Flayn, who sat beside him, jumped from her spot and cheered.</p><p class="p5">Claude was surprised, and slightly relieved, that she sat in his company. When he had tried questioning her after their return, she bolted. The Flame Emperor and Death Knight had been after her blood specifically. But, he wouldn’t pressure her for answers. Everybody had their secrets, and if Flayn was so apprehensive to share, she probably had a good reason not to.</p><p class="p5">Byleth had told him to lay off, and Claude found himself agreeing. Interrogation was the wrong route to take. He was sure it had something to do with her crest anyway. The blood of a previous saint.</p><p class="p5">“Oh! That was an absolutely stunning display!” Flayn bounced in place, clapping. “Just beautiful! Do you agree, Marianne?”</p><p class="p5">Marianne, who was quietly watching on the opposite side of the bench, shrunk a bit at the direct question. However, she recovered quickly and nodded her head, “Y-yes! Of course! You were perfect, Hilda.” In response, Hilda preened.</p><p class="p5">“It’s fun to see you actually try your best at something for once.” Claude chimed in, shooting his friend a teasing wink.</p><p class="p5">“What do you mean?! I’m always trying my best!” She stuck her tongue out at him and moved on to light stretches. Hilda looked a bit silly stretching in a very puffy, very pink winter coat. One she had made herself, no doubt. She really <em>could</em> be a miracle worker when she wanted to be. Claude was actually glad Byleth had chosen their resident slacker to represent the Deer.</p><p class="p5">He glanced over to his professor hoping to catch her eyes, but she was now in a rather one-sided looking conversation with Manuela, who was chattering enthusiastically about something. A new lover probably.</p><p class="p5">It was a good quality of Byleth's to let other people talk her ears off. She was an utter pro at listening. But did she even find this subject relatable? Probably not. She was far from a romantic. Understandable considering her rougher than average childhood and her former inability to really show emotions. He doubted she ever had a serious relationship with anyone, let alone a casual fling like Manuela often had.</p><p class="p5">Claude couldn’t help but to want to ask Byleth about it anyway. For… reasons. Reasons that had been slowly blooming in some deeper part of himself over the time he had spent with her. He found he wanted to <em>know</em> her, and not just her secrets. Claude wanted to know her hobbies, her favorite foods, the books she read, and her opinions on strategies. Plus there were her budding emotions and feelings he wanted to see.</p><p class="p5">He couldn’t trust her if he didn’t know her, right?</p><p class="p5">Claude wanted to climb over the wall built of Byleth’s mysteries, and simply see her for what she presented herself as. A comrade. <em>A friend. </em>Somebody who genuinely didn’t know the answers to her own secrets. Unlike with Tomas, Byleth’s good intentions always seemed sincere.</p><p class="p5">
  <em>No. They are sincere, aren’t they?</em>
</p><p class="p5">“You all seem to be enjoying yourselves.”</p><p class="p5">The group of three on the bench turned to see Edelgard, hand on her hip and a tight smile on her face. Maybe it wouldn’t look so forced if it wasn’t directed at Claude.</p><p class="p5">“Why, good afternoon your Imperial-ness,” he greeted, giving her his own practiced smile alongside a mock bow.</p><p class="p5">Edelgard hated that nickname and he knew it. She dropped her smile, and scowled at him.</p><p class="p5">Claude barreled on, “Is the lovely lady fancying a bit of stroll? I’m afraid the courtyard is in use right now. Unless you’re here to dance?”</p><p class="p5">“No. If you put those cunning eyes of yours to any use, you’d see that Ferdinand is representing the Black Eagles for this competition.” She replied, quick witted and icy-as-ever. A perfect match for the weather.</p><p class="p5">Flayn ignored the passive aggressive taunts between the two House Leaders, (or maybe she just didn’t pick up on them – it was hard to tell with her sometimes), and clasped her hands happily. “Then are you here to cheer him on? We have been watching Hilda, and – oh, I do not mean to boast in her place – but she is quite the competitor!”</p><p class="p5">Edelgard smiled kindly at the jovial girl and shook her head. “I think Ferdinand would be insulted somehow if I cheered him on. I’m simply waiting for practice to end. I have a tea date with the Professor.”</p><p class="p5">An uncomfortable sensation twisted Claude’s gut. <em>The Professor.</em> <em>Meaning Byleth. She calls it a date, huh?</em></p><p class="p5">“Oh?” He found himself responding, despite his self-preserving instincts shouting at him not to. It was a foolish thing to overact about.</p><p class="p5">He overreacted anyway. “Finally making your moves on Teach, are you? Isn’t it a little too early to be buttering her up for a dance at the Ball?”</p><p class="p5">Edelgard went red at his question in either anger or embarrassment. Or maybe it was both.</p><p class="p5">Before she could respond though, the stomping of boots caught their attention, and Dimitri stopped before them. He had been practicing amongst the others for the competition, close to their bench. Claude grimaced at that fact he wasn’t wearing his winter cloak. He wasn’t even wearing his regular armor, instead opting for a simple long-sleeved shirt.</p><p class="p5">Marianne mumbled a quiet hello and Flayn offered a much louder one.</p><p class="p5">“Good afternoon Marianne, Flayn. Claude.” Dimitri turned his haggard gaze to the Golden Deer leader. He had bags under his eyes. If he was tired though, he refused to show it in his current demeanor. “Do leave Edelgard alone. We all look forward to sharing some time with the Professor, after all. It’s rare us other House Leaders ever get the opportunity.”</p><p class="p5">“You don’t need to jump to my defense, Dimitri.” Edelgard said curtly, despite the way she noticeably relaxed at his intervention. Her face returned to a normal color and she flipped her hair. “Though, you are correct. I simply wish to have a cordial chat with her. As always Claude, you seem to be trying to twist things to sound more <em>scandalous</em> than they actually are.”</p><p class="p5">“Am I?” He shrugged his shoulders and threw his cold hands behind his head. “It was simply the first reason I could think of as to why <em>you’d</em> want to speak with her.”</p><p class="p5">Claude wasn’t lying, not really. Edelgard’s crush on Byleth was obvious, at least to him. But he wasn’t about to let on how much his gut reaction had guided his taunts either. He was just glad nobody seemed to pick up on his small, jealous reflex at the mention of a date.</p><p class="p5">Nope. Nobody had to know about that. The feeling had been an unwelcomed surprise to himself. Like Dimitri, he hoped to convince the others around him that he felt just fine.</p><p class="p5">And so, he leapt onto the opportunity to change the subject. “By the way, you look beat your Prince-liness. Not much beauty sleep lately? Nervous about the competition?”</p><p class="p5">Dimitri frowned. “You sound like Dedue.” He quickly glanced in Byleth’s direction before looking down at his boots. “And like the Professor,” he added quietly.</p><p class="p5">Instead of the prickling jealously he felt earlier, Claude simply felt pity.</p><p class="p5">Dimitri had a point after all; the other House Leaders could never hope to build a report with Byleth like he could. She wasn’t the teacher of either of their Houses, and they couldn’t transfer like the others. They had responsibilities as leaders that inhibited them from reaching out.</p><p class="p5">In this moment, more than anyone else, it seemed Dimitri needed Byleth's ears to bend.</p><p class="p5">Claude was beginning to realize how lucky he was that she had chosen the Golden Deer. Struck by the fact she stood by his side. He could get as close to her as he wanted. And he needed her for <em>his</em> plans.</p><p class="p5">“I’m just… tired,” Dimitri sighed. “I woke up with another headache. Probably because I didn’t wish to represent the Blue Lions in this competition. But Professor Hannemon was adamant that it should be me.”</p><p class="p5">“Um, if I may…” Marianne spoke up, a surprise to everyone in their little huddle, “Perhaps you should go rest, or eat something warm. It’s rather cold outside. There’s the possibility you’re catching a cold, since, ah – well…” She pressed her hands together firmly and bowed her head.</p><p class="p5">It was a nervous tick, Claude had come to understand, that when Marianne lost her confidence she fell into a praying position. In a fluid motion, he swung his arm across the back of the bench around Flayn to reach her shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze.</p><p class="p5">“What our dear Marianne here is trying to say is that you’re not exactly dressed for the weather. Plus, you’ve got some pretty angry looking bags under your eyes.” Claude motioned to his own face with his free hand.</p><p class="p5">To his side, Edelgard huffed. “It’s true. You look like hell.”</p><p class="p5">“Indeed…” Flayn agreed.</p><p class="p5">Dimitri rubbed at his eyes. “Do I? Well, I apologize for worrying you all. But I’m fine. I just need–”</p><p class="p5">He cut himself off from the excuses he was about to make as Byleth, finally free from Manuela and having dismissed Hilda, marched up to them. “Oh Goddess… Hello Professor.”</p><p class="p5">“Dimitri,” she started sternly, “I see you haven’t listened to either me or Dedue.”</p><p class="p5">“Professor, please,” Dimitri all but whined, “I had to be out here to practice. And I–”</p><p class="p5">“And you had plenty of time between our last chat and practice to get proper rest.” Byleth dropped her stern glare into something softer.</p><p class="p5">While her face didn’t change significantly, Claude knew the subtle shift could still be recognized clearly by everyone gathered. She was getting easier to read.</p><p class="p5">“I’m not sure what you’re after Dimitri, but…” Byleth took a second to find her words before she went on, “if you continue to push yourself like this –if you keep ignoring this problem – you <em>will</em> fail. At whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. You <em>need</em> rest.”</p><p class="p5">Claude felt an uncomfortable realization hit him like a ton of bricks.</p><p class="p5">Byleth, while dense in some ways, was infinitely wise in others. <em>Of course</em> Dimitri was beating himself up over his own guarded goals and feelings. Ones he couldn’t divulge. Just like how Claude couldn’t speak of his and Edelgard couldn’t speak of hers. Even someone like Flayn kept secrets. Everybody had them, after all.</p><p class="p5">Meanwhile, Byleth cut to the heart of the matter; gave the best advice she could think of in the clearest way she could word it.</p><p class="p5">
  <em>You won’t win if you succumb to this darkness inside you. The darkness everyone can see behind your eyes. The reason Felix calls you a ‘boar.’</em>
</p><p class="p5">“Professor… I,” Dimitri looked like he was about to argue again, but he stopped himself as he met her more gentle gaze, “I understand. I’ll try to take it easy… today.”</p><p class="p5">“Please see that you do.” Byleth left it at that, turning her attention to Edelgard. “Have you been waiting long? I can take you to my room now.”</p><p class="p5">“Your room?”</p><p class="p5">The question fell from Claude’s lips before he could stop himself. He had the urge to slap his hand over his mouth, seeing it was working faster than his brain today. Once again, he overreacted to something so mundane.</p><p class="p5">Byleth rightfully looked at him as if he had grown a second head, tilting her own ever so slightly. “Yes? It’s too cold to host tea parties in the gazebo. I’ve been using my room instead.”</p><p class="p5">Something in his expression must of revealed his train of thought, and sharp as she was, recognition flashed in her eyes. “Ah – I suppose that sounded more inappropriate than intended. You didn’t know I had a student-teacher appointment with her after all.”</p><p class="p5">Edelgard approached Byleth’s side with a sly smile, looking a little too proud of herself in the moment. “Actually Professor, Claude <em>did</em> know I was here for a tea da– appointment with you.”</p><p class="p5">Claude squinted her way. <em>Don’t think I missed that.</em></p><p class="p5">“He’s just stirring up trouble, as per usual,” Edelgard concluded.</p><p class="p5">“Ah, really?” Dimitri asked, shuffling awkwardly on his feet. “I must admit, I got the wrong impression for a quick moment as well.”</p><p class="p5">
  <em>Thank the stars for Dimitri! </em>
</p><p class="p5">“Gee Edelgard,” Claude smirked, “I knew you had a ‘tea date’ with Teach, but that doesn’t mean her suddenly inviting you to her room doesn’t sound– how would you put it? <em>Scandalous? </em>Kind of improper looking to the outsiders looking in, if you ask me.”</p><p class="p5">Struck by a wicked thought, he continued, “Or did you meet her here in this crowd deliberately so everybody could see you two strolling to her quarters together? How titillating for you.”</p><p class="p5">Edelgard had the grace to drop her smug grin, opting instead to look away.</p><p class="p5">Claude could only grin. <em>Caught you.</em></p><p class="p5">“Okay, that’s enough,” Byleth said, giving Claude a stern look. “This is on me. I should have worded my invite more clearly. I’m sorry if I gave any of you the wrong impression.”</p><p class="p5">“I’ll apologize too, Teach,” Claude added with a smile.</p><p class="p5">Byleth was a natural peacekeeper as much as she was a natural warrior. He, however, couldn’t help but be a shit-stirrer.</p><p class="p5">At least towards people who actively called him one.</p><p class="p5">“I’m sorry, Edelgard, for teasing you,” he gave her another exaggerated bow. “I know that our lovely Teach isn’t doing dubious things behind closed doors with any of us students. After all, I’ve been alone with her in her room plenty of times, so I would know.”</p><p class="p5">The speed at which both Edelgard and Dimitri swung their heads in unison to look at him with shock… <em>oh yes. This teasing was worth it after all. </em>He pretended to not see Byleth shoot him another warning glare.</p><p class="p5">“As have I!” Flayn quickly added, now obviously aware of the tension in the air between the House Leaders. “My brother never provided the Professor with a proper office after all. Her room really is a common meeting place for appointments with us students! Right, Marianne?”</p><p class="p5">“Hmm? Oh! Of course!” Marianne straightened her back, picking up on Flayn’s plea for assistance. “I meet with her there often to discuss many things. About class and missions, and for tea, and… you know…”</p><p class="p5">Byleth nodded at the girls. “That’s right, and so,” she gave Claude another pointed look before motioning Edelgard to follow her across the courtyard, “I will see you all later.”</p><p class="p5">She was obviously tired of this conversation. Claude stifled a laugh. He’d have to <em>actually</em> apologize later for causing a commotion, not that his Teach would hold a grudge against him.</p><p class="p5">He liked to think he was her favorite after all. Scheming and teasing included. Claude could recall all the times she smiled when he would recount his pranks to her over their own one-on-one tea parties. Byleth even agreed with him sometimes that his targets had it coming to them.</p><p class="p5">All incidents he confided to her were never reported either. It was endearing that she trusted his judgment enough to let him run loose, knowing full-well that his pockets were full of potions and poisons.</p><p class="p5">
  <em>She won’t betray me. She’s not like Thomas.</em>
</p><p class="p5">He’d have to invite Byleth to one of their own tea dates soon. In Claude’s mind, the wall of her mysteries didn’t seem so daunting to climb anymore.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. As I move my feet towards your body I can hear this beat.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Settling back down at the Monastery means combat practice, tea, and gossip with your friends. Claude begins to climb the wall that he has imagined between him Byelth.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>Chapter 2</strong>
</p><p class="p1"><strong>As I move my feet towards your body</strong><br/><strong>I can hear this beat, it fills my head up<br/></strong> <strong>and gets louder and louder.</strong></p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“I’m so excited!”</p><p class="p4">Claude watched Leonie with some amusement as she punched the air in front of her just a little too forcefully. They were gathered in the training grounds along with their classmates and with a portion of the knights who worked under Jeralt. Some bundled up for the colder weather while others didn’t. Claude certainly remembered to bring his winter cloak.</p><p class="p4">A special seminar was being held on how to knock out and subdue aggressors without harming them, brought on due to the calamity at Remire. They had been forced to fight unaware townsfolk. Not bad people; just citizen’s caught up in a wicked scheme.</p><p class="p4">Much to Leonie’s excitement, the class was being taught by the Blade Breaker himself. This was the first time since his arrival to the Monastery that he ever instructed the students on something. Jeralt was back for a few more days before he was needed for another mission that would take about a week outside Garreg Mach. Afterwards, he would return for their end-of-the-moon mission with the Golden Deer.</p><p class="p4">Jeralt spoke with Byleth and Alois, each acting as assistant instructors. They were in the corner of the grounds, quietly going over the lesson.</p><p class="p4">Claude, along with Leonie and the rest of the deer, worked through the light stretches they were instructed to perform before the seminar began. Maybe to simply keep themselves warm.</p><p class="p4">Dimitri, Dedue, Ingrid, Ferdinand, and Caspar joined the seminar as well.</p><p class="p4">Even though they hadn’t been at Remire, word about the events there traveled amongst the students quickly enough. The orphans and the broken families being housed at the Monastery were a constant reminder of the village’s demise. It was no surprise to see the students outside the Golden Deer here, at least not to Claude. They certainly seemed the types who would see benefit in a lesson on subduing rather than killing.</p><p class="p4">“Just you wait Claude!” Leonie nearly shouted, rolling her shoulders, “If you think the Professor is good, you’ll be absolutely blown away by Captain Jeralt. He’s the real deal!”</p><p class="p4">Claude mimicked her actions, rolling his own shoulders to loosen them up. “That certainly sounds exciting. But last I checked, Teach was as much a mercenary as her father. I’m pretty sure they both count as the ‘real deal.’”</p><p class="p4">Never the one to be dissuade, Leonie simply shook her head with a grin. “Maybe so, but she learned all she knows from the Captain. It’s hard for me to believe that she surpassed him,” Leonie then frowned, “even if she is his daughter. Captain Jeralt is certainly everyone’s superior here, including the Professor’s.”</p><p class="p4">Claude bent forward to touch his toes, holding the position to stretch his hamstrings one last time before they began.</p><p class="p4">“Y’know Leonie, you’ve been more – how do I say this,” ‘<em>jealous’ is probably the right word,</em> “aggressive lately towards Teach. Specifically to do with her relationship with her old man.”</p><p class="p4">“Is that right?” Leonie asked rhetorically, throwing her hands on her hips. “Claude, you’re a fairly shrewd guy, yeah?”</p><p class="p4">Claude popped up from his stretch, once again mimicking her movements and placing his hands on his own sides. “I certainly like to think I am. I’d coin you for a shrewd character as well. In fact, I know you are.”</p><p class="p4">“Right,” Leonie nodded, smiling once more. “So, using our powers of perception combined, wouldn’t you say that the Professor is just the slightest bit unaware of how good she has it as the Captain’s kid?”</p><p class="p4">“Uhhh, I’m not quite sure I follow. Are you saying she’s ungrateful?”</p><p class="p4">“Well, more like…” Leonie looked towards Jeralt and Byleth, her eyes lingering for a moment before turning back to him, “more like she hasn’t even realized that she <em>should</em> be grateful.”</p><p class="p4">Before Claude could question what she meant, the sound of thunderous clapping brought everyone’s attention to Alois, who called everyone to the center of the grounds.</p><p class="p4"><em>It’ll have to wait.</em> He strolled up to the center with the others and the seminar began.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">–––</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Claude was certainly happy he remembered his cloak. Standing still for that long did nothing to warm the blood. Ultimately it was two hours of watching people be flipped, pinned, outmaneuvered, and mock-knocked out.</p><p class="p4">Well, there had been one very <em>real</em> knockout when Jeralt chopped Alois’ neck after slipping behind him. The younger Knight had flopped unceremoniously onto the ground, face first. A stand-by monk had been on him immediately, picking him up and checking his face for a broken nose.</p><p class="p4">“And that’s what’ll happen to any of you brats if you mess around and hurt each other,” Jeralt had said right after.</p><p class="p4">Nobody doubted that he was giving an actual threat. Alois woke up in a matter of minutes, laughing loudly about ‘the good ol’ Captain.’</p><p class="p4">They were moving on to actual practice now in small groups. Leonie immediately beelined to Jeralt. Claude stepped up to his own preferred partner.</p><p class="p4">“Heya Teach. Being an assistant doesn’t mean you can’t practice yourself, right?”</p><p class="p4">“I’m pretty sure I just practiced for two hours straight,” she said lightly, dusting off her legs, “but if you’d like my instruction, I won’t deny you.”</p><p class="p4">Claude smiled, already having predicted her answer. “Yes please. Who better to teach than Teach. And I need all the help you can provide on this subject. Close combat isn’t really my thing, as you’re already aware.”</p><p class="p4">It had been amusing to watch Byleth practice with her father. Jeralt had used her as an example of a smaller fighter using speed and dexterity to outmaneuver a larger fighter. And so, much to Leonie’s horror, they had watched Byleth flip her father onto his stomach and back multiple times, successfully pinning him without ever breaking a sweat.</p><p class="p4">“Just go easier on me than you did with Jeralt. Poor guy’s going to have bruises on bruises after what you did to him.”</p><p class="p4">That made Byleth smile. “He can handle it. He wouldn’t be the Captain if he couldn’t.”</p><p class="p4">“Oh? So you admit you didn’t hold back against your elder! For shame, Teach,” Claude tutted at her, and her smile grew. He wondered what it would take to make her laugh. “By the way, when this lesson is over, are you free?”</p><p class="p4">She answered after a quick moment of consideration. “Yes. It will be sunset once we’re done here, I believe. I didn’t have anything else planned for the day other than dinner. Plus grading assignments. Why?”</p><p class="p4">“I was wondering if we could have some tea. Just the two of us. It’s been a while,” Claude said as casually as he could, stretching out his arms to prepare for mock-combat.</p><p class="p4">Really, it had only been a few weeks since their last tea time, but he was craving time to talk with her about… anything really. Usually, he’d be in pursuit of useful information when seeking others out. But currently he simply wanted to be in the presence of somebody he felt comfortable around, with no ulterior motives.</p><p class="p4">He needed to start scaling the wall he had imagined was between them.</p><p class="p4">Byleth gave him a rare, teasing smirk as she followed his lead and stretched her legs. Something mischievous sparkled in her eyes. “Feeling neglected, Claude? I don’t think <em>you’ve</em> ever invited <em>me</em> to a tea party before.”</p><p class="p4">“Feeling flattered, Teach?” he smirked back, meeting her amused gaze. “Maybe I just needed a reason to be in your room so I can mark up my grades when your back is turned.”</p><p class="p4">He expected another witty reply but instead, in a flash, Byleth sidestepped around him while twirling on her heel, grabbing his arm and kicking behind his knees to topple him forward. Before she could pin him down though, Claude caught himself by stopping his fall with his free arm against the hard dirt.</p><p class="p4">He jerked his body sideways to get Byleth off his side and twisted the arm she had a grip on so he could grab her own wrist, pinning it to her chest as she fell on her back. Quickly, he maneuvered on top of her, pinning her legs with his knees. He went to grab her other arm for the win, but she caught his wrist before he could.</p><p class="p4">Byleth yanked his hand far above her head, causing him to lose enough of his balance that she was able to free her legs. With the strength from her core and lower body alone, she kicked off the ground and propelled them sideways once more, rolling on top of him. She brute forced the arm he still had a grip on downward against his own chest, pinning his hand. With her grip still on his other arm and his thighs now being pressed painfully with her knees, Claude knew he lost.</p><p class="p4">Huffing above him, Byleth smiled toothily, and his breath caught in his throat at the sight.</p><p class="p4">“Well done,” she praised, loosening her grip and standing, pulling him to his feet as well. She dusted the dirt off his back and shoulders.</p><p class="p4">“Thanks, Teach. I lost that one though,” Claude said, catching his breath and ignoring his own drumming heartbeat in his ears. “Kinda mean to start without a warning, don’t you think?” He suddenly realized why she had such a playful attitude before charging him. It had properly caught him off-guard.</p><p class="p4">Byleth shook her head, smile persevering. “Consider it your punishment for making fun of Edelgard last week. You never properly apologized.”</p><p class="p4">He laughed. “Fair enough!”</p><p class="p4">“Your form was off, which made you too sloppy when pinning my other arm,” Byleth said, switching back to teacher mode. “Let’s go again. This time kneel higher on my legs and keep your free hand lower to the ground when you grab for my wrist. I won’t be able to intercept you from my prone position if you do.”</p><p class="p4">As always, Claude drank up her critique. “Right. I’m ready for another round.”</p><p class="p4">Before they went again, he cast aside his cloak, realizing suddenly how warm he felt.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p4">Carefully balancing a tray of finger-sandwiches with one hand, Claude stepped out of the mess hall and into the chilly evening air. He and Byleth had agreed to eat dinner and then clean up before their tea time. It had been a last minute decision, on his part, to sneak into the mess hall and quickly put together some late-night snacks for their rendezvous.</p><p class="p4">Often, they bonded over food. While their taste preferences differed in some areas, they still commonly sat down together for meals. Byleth would pass him savory or bitter sides she knew he liked, while he would trade back sweets that were too sugary for his tongue. Claude could still recall with some amusement how Lorenz had scoffed at their <em>‘ill table-side manners’</em> when he had joined them one time.</p><p class="p4">It was simple, but it was nice. Over time, the exchanges became so habitual that they began passing foods to each other even outside the mess hall.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>Manners be damned. </em>
</p><p class="p4">Small things like that were what helped Claude recognize the humanity beneath her once blank-faced stare. It was becoming normal to be comfortable around Byleth. He was well aware his own personality could be grating to some, but she seemed to outright enjoy his company.</p><p class="p4">Quickly and quietly, he strode past the hedges and down the road of the ground-floor dormitories. It was admittedly a bit thrilling to be meeting his professor so late in the day.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>If Edelgard or Dimitri saw me entering her room this late, well, their heads might explode. Poor things.</em>
</p><p class="p4">Claude tried to suppress the cocky smirk on his face as he reached her door, knocking sharply three times. He heard a chair scrape against the floor before Byleth swung her door open expectantly. Her eyes lit up comically at the plate of food in his hand.</p><p class="p4">“Come in. Let me take that.”</p><p class="p4">“Sheesh Teach, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’d just want me over for the treats I bring you.”</p><p class="p4">Despite his jest, he placed the tray in her awaiting hands, following her in and lightly kicking the door closed behind him with the side of his boot. Looking up he watched Byelth set the tray down in the center of the little table she had set up in the middle of her room. He noted the fluffy blanket hanging over the chair meant for him, and the already steaming tea pot on the table, accompanied by charmingly mismatched tea cups.</p><p class="p4">“I was wondering why you were late,” Byleth said, already sitting down and beginning to pour the tea. “These sandwiches are certainly a forgivable reason.”</p><p class="p4">Claude ignored yet another painful thump from his heart at the fact she was waiting almost eagerly for him.</p><p class="p4">“Ah, so no points taken off my grade for tea parties? That’s a relief. Glad I came with extra credit,” he winked her way, taking his own seat.</p><p class="p4">He took the blanket off the back of his chair and wrapped it around his shoulders like a second cloak. Byleth passed him his cup which he took with a quick thank you. Warming his hands on the sides, he lifted it up to take a whiff, noting the light, flowery scent.</p><p class="p4">“Chamomile tonight, huh? This will be a nice drink to have before bedtime. Good call, Teach.”</p><p class="p4">She shook her head, eyeing the food before her. “Anna told me about how it was a good blend to have before sleeping, so I can’t take the credit. I would’ve brewed you pine, but it’s been harder to come across lately.”</p><p class="p4">Claude sipped his drink silently, watching Byleth admire his handiwork before popping a whole finger-sandwich into her mouth.</p><p class="p4">“Well, it is <em>Almyran</em> pine needle,” he sighed, setting his cup down to join her in the little feast. “The colder weather is probably discouraging merchants from the east from coming over. They aren’t exactly fond of the chill over here.”</p><p class="p4">Still chewing her first bite, Byleth looked at him and his layers over for a moment in a way that was <em>knowing</em>. Claude felt his stomach drop, but keptup his lax attitude. Stuffing a sandwich in his own mouth, he decided to watch the steam arise from his cup.</p><p class="p4">She was on to him, he knew. On where he was actually from. However, the notion that she might reveal his heritage to the Alliance if she ever found definitive proof didn’t scare him.</p><p class="p4">No. He wanted to believe she would never do that to him. That she had no reason to.</p><p class="p4">Instead, what rattled Claude was the realization that he <em>wanted her to know. </em>Byleth was smart. Intuitive. Surely she could decipher from his interests and preferences and his appearance that he was Almyran.</p><p class="p4">As he scaled the wall of mysteries he imagined between them, he wondered if she was doing the same on the other side. They were building ladders made of revelations, preparing to show them to each other once they reached the top together.</p><p class="p4">Claude chanced a look back up to Byleth to see her sipping her tea slowly, eyes closed and shoulders drooped.</p><p class="p4">“Are you excited? For the the Ball?”</p><p class="p4">He blinked at the subject change and sipped from his cup again, holding her steady gaze as she opened her eyes. She was giving him an out from the topic of his homeland. He took it.</p><p class="p4">“Eh, I suppose. I kinda have to be considering my position as the future Sovereign Duke. It’s an opportunity to build good relations with the future leaders of the Kingdom and the Empire, after all.” He paused, scratching his fingernail against the grain of the wooden table.</p><p class="p4">Honestly, the Ball, while he thought of it now and then, wasn’t the main event that had been on his mind. Byleth seemed to understand he had more to say. She trained her eyes on his fidgeting finger and remained silent, waiting for him to continue.</p><p class="p4">“To be honest Teach, I’ve been thinking more about our upcoming mission at the end of the moon. Doesn’t it seem strange to you?”</p><p class="p4">Rhea had tasked them with investigating an apparent break-in of the ruins within the grounds of Garreg Mach. It wasn’t a place for anyone to be. Not even bandits would have any reason to go there.</p><p class="p4">Claude voiced his thoughts, “Why would somebody want to scour the ruins? It just doesn’t make any sense to me. We were there before when we helped Yuri and the wolves, as I’m sure you recall. There’s nothing out there.”</p><p class="p4">Byleth nodded, picking up a sandwich and examining it as though she was examining the best route for a battle.</p><p class="p4">“I’m not surprised that’s where your mind is. You always seem to be one-step ahead on the schedule than everybody else.” She stated her observation simply, like the fact that it was.</p><p class="p4">Claude shifted in his seat, not sure how to take her comment. Discomforted by the uncertainty, he decided to simple ask, “That’s a good thing, right? I can’t be a schemer without looking ahead. You know how curious I am about mysteries, Teach.”</p><p class="p4">Finally she looked back up. There was a light burning behind her stare that signaled to him that she feeling strongly about something. To be the subject of that fiery look made his face feel hot.</p><p class="p4">“It’s a good thing. You’re always looking to the future, preparing for the best outcome,” she paused, her eyes snapping to his restless finger before snapping right back up.</p><p class="p4">Then she continued, “But Claude, these past few weeks have been stressful. For all of you. I want you to enjoy the present while it’s here. You especially deserve a moment of calm with your friends.” She focused again on the sandwich in her hand, back to looking analytical. “If our upcoming mission is concerning you, I can look into it more before the day comes to investigate the grounds. You’re right after all. It <em>is</em> suspicious. There’s nothing out there.”</p><p class="p4">Finally, she took a bite of her snack. It gave Claude a moment of silence to chew on her words.</p><p class="p4">His heart continued to drum quickly in his chest. At what exactly? Her compliment towards him? Or was it her encouragement to have him loosen up? He withdrew his finger from the table, realizing how anxious he was coming across.</p><p class="p4">Often in childhood, he was told to wary about every little event and person around him. To be prepared for the worst, because he could only rely on himself at the end of the day. Distraction meant danger, and danger meant death.</p><p class="p4">Yet here Byleth was, telling him to relax. Not because his concerns were unfounded, but because he <em>deserved it</em>. He deserved to forget his worries and just… be his age. Be a young adult with friends at an event meant to be fun. She was offering to take the worries off his shoulders and handle them herself. It was endearing, but…</p><p class="p4">“What about you?”</p><p class="p4">Claude’s question seemed to catch her off-guard as she paused in place, her hand lingering over her tea cup.</p><p class="p4">Byleth looked at him curiously. “What about me?”</p><p class="p4">He felt an unbidden smile stretch his lips. “You know, sometimes I think you forget you’re the same age as all the little fawns you look after. I would gladly take you up on your offer, but I’m pretty sure you also deserve to take a breather. If you want me to have a good time with my friends, that means you’ll have to be there too. No distractions.”</p><p class="p4">To his immeasurable delight, his comment seemed to fluster her. While her expression remained passive, a fair shade of pink stained her cheeks, strong enough to be seen in the lamp light of her room.</p><p class="p4">It wasn’t the first time he had seen her blush, but it was the first time he made her blush himself.</p><p class="p4">“You consider me a friend?”</p><p class="p4">Claude smirked, deciding to press further. “What? Like you didn’t know? I’m offended, <em>Byleth</em>. Here I am trying to have a heart-to-heart conversation with <em>my friend </em>and she decides to go all teacher-mode on me and give me a lecture. Friends tell friends about their concerns. You know that right?”</p><p class="p4">It was Byleth’s turn to shift in her chair. She clasped her hands together in front of her on the table, her eyes downcast. “You’re teasing me.”</p><p class="p4">Claude leaned in to get a better view of her still-red face. Had anyone ever called her a ‘friend’ before? Well, Yuri did. But in a way that always felt more like a slick nickname than an honest declaration.</p><p class="p4">“You’re right.” After a moment’s hesitation, he reached out to place a hand over both of hers. Calloused and small. “I <em>am</em> teasing you. Because friends tease each other.”</p><p class="p4">Byleth still didn’t look up, but he could see the gears turning in her head, as though she was having a debate inside her own mind. It was something she did often – zoning out to the point of looking absent-minded. Claude knew better than to actually believe that though, now that he knew her better.</p><p class="p4">Her lips twitched upward.</p><p class="p4">Quickly, he let go of her hands to tap her nose before snatching a sandwich from the tray, effectively ripping her attention from the table to his face again.</p><p class="p4">And then she fully smiled.</p><p class="p4">“You did bring me some tasty sandwiches, so I suppose I’ll have to believe you.” Byleth unclasped her hands and reached back to her cup, regaining her usual cool composure.</p><p class="p4">Claude laughed, stretching out a leg to tap his foot against hers. “Wow, Teach! Don’t make trusting me sound like such a chore! You’ll give Hilda a run for her father’s money.”</p><p class="p4">And then she laughed.</p><p class="p4">Claude nearly choked on the sip of tea he decided to have in the moment.</p><p class="p4">He never heard her laugh before. It was low yet lilting, befitting her stoic nature while still being unexpectedly girly. He felt himself smile at the sound, so wide it hurt his cheeks. His heart hummed happily.</p><p class="p4">“Give her <em>some</em> credit, Claude,” Byleth chided lightly, “She’s worked very hard this moon. If she wasn’t so eager to actually try her best at something, I would have made you perform for the White Heron Cup.”</p><p class="p4">“Uugh, no way!” He didn’t have to fake his displeasure at the notion of dancing a stuffy Fodlan dance for a worthless prize. “Absolutely not! I’ll leave the boring waltzing to the professionals.”</p><p class="p4">“Are you saying you’d lose if you were competing?” she asked, suddenly looking serious. But as always, her eyes betrayed her stoic expression. Mirth still danced behind them. “Manuela did say it takes a lot of charisma to win in a performance. Perhaps I should have considered Lorenz as my back-up in case Hilda couldn’t do it.”</p><p class="p4">Claude opened his mouth to retaliate with a, ‘<em>Yes, actually, you should have. Lorenz is a real groovy guy,’</em> but stopped himself short. His knee-jerk reaction to discredit himself would be too predicable of a retort by this point. Why not shake things up?</p><p class="p4">He felt an honest smile worm its way back onto his face. “You’re teasing me,” he remarked instead.</p><p class="p4">Byleth laughed once again, and Claude felt pride surge through him at the victory of having her make the noise twice in one sitting.</p><p class="p4">“You’re right, I’m teasing you,” she chuckled. “Some jerk once told me that friends tease each other so that he could get away with poking fun at me.”</p><p class="p4">Claude barked out his own laugh, loud and unrestrained.</p><p class="p4">And yes, she definitely lit up at the sound. Her chest puffed out and her eyes crinkled pleasantly in the corners. He wondered if she also felt proud at eliciting laughter from him.</p><p class="p4">It felt nice to let his guard down enough to truly laugh.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">As he had promised Byleth, Claude pushed the thoughts of their next mission away from the front of his mind. Allowing himself to get caught up in the excitement of an upcoming party, he listened to people talk about their dates, the small amount of wine they would be able to have, and about the rumor of couples having their wishes come true at the Goddess Tower.</p><p class="p4">He found the rumor to be an amusing one, not because he believed it, but because of how gushy his fellow classmates got over it.</p><p class="p4">“Isn’t it just romantic?” Hilda dreamily sighed from across the dining hall table. She seemed to forget her meal, too busy recounting all the gossip she was able to sink her well manicured nails into.</p><p class="p4">Ignatz answered without looking up from his own lunch, “I’m sure it is. The view from that high up in such a magnificent tower is probably a sight to behold.”</p><p class="p4">Finished with his own meal, Claude watched the bespectacled boy push his potatoes around his plate, creating a perfectly round lump in the center.</p><p class="p4">“Oh, definitely!” shouted Raphael beside Hilda, uncaring of the fact he still had food in his mouth. “The stars are probably so pretty up there at night! Are you gonna finish that?”</p><p class="p4">With a pout, Hilda pushed her plate to the side to let Raphael dive into it with unapologetic gusto.</p><p class="p4">“I mean, <em>I guess </em>you could go up there for the view. But I was talking more about the wish factor. With the one you love.” Hilda rested her head in her hands, elbows propped on the table. “I don’t know why I even brought it up with you boys. As if any of you are actually interested.”</p><p class="p4">“Hey now. I’m plenty interested,” Claude countered. He didn’t take his eyes off of Ignatz’s plate however, because <em>wow</em>, the artist was now placing a smaller ball of potatoes on top of the ball in the center, balancing it perfectly.</p><p class="p4">“Uh huh,” Hilda sighed again, this time far less dreamily. “I wonder if anyone will have the guts to sneak up there. It’s off-limits after all. Thooouuugh, I think the Professor just might.”</p><p class="p4">Claude’s attentiveness jumped into action at the mention of Byleth breaking the rules. But he refused to give Hilda the satisfaction of a reaction. Instead, he kept his eyes glued to the half-made potato snowman on Ignatz’s plate, plastering an easy smile on his face.</p><p class="p4">“What makes you think that?”</p><p class="p4">Hilda leaned forward like a cat-with-a-cause, wearing a cunning smile that he could see clearly from his periphery. <em>Of course</em> she caught on to his strong curiosity despite how he tried to mask it.</p><p class="p4">“I overheard that Gatekeeper guy telling her about the rumor. The Professor hung onto every word he had to say! And then, when he said that he wished he had a special someone, the Professor got reeeaaally quiet. She stared up into the clouds for like, a whole minute. I think she was thinking about a secret lover!” Hilda squealed in delight at her own words.</p><p class="p4">Claude scoffed, “Just because Teach went silent for a minute doesn’t mean she has a secret lover, Hilda. She gets spacey like that all the time. Hell, once I watched her have a full <em>two-minute</em> conversation with herself before she choose what she wanted for dinner.”</p><p class="p4">“I feel that!” Raphael laughed. “Ignatz, are you not hungry, buddy?”</p><p class="p4">“Oh! Ah, I was just…” Ignatz looked down at his starchy sculpture before sighing and pushing it across the table. “I’m not. Here you go.”</p><p class="p4">“Thanks!”</p><p class="p4">Claude bade a silent farewell to the potato snowman before it got mashed with a spoon and stuffed into Raphael’s mouth.</p><p class="p4">“Hilda,” Ignatz began, deliberately turning his attention away from his creation’s destruction, “Do you really think the Professor was thinking about sneaking into the tower? I mean with how Remire went, she might have more, well – how do I put this – more mission-based things on her mind. It’s hard to imagine her being invested in Fairy Tales.”</p><p class="p4">“Well it’s not a Fairy Tale, Ignatz!” Hilda glowered, “It’s just a romantic little rumor. And I don’t know! I don’t think she’s focused on mission stuff. When she had me practice for the White Heron Cup last week, she seemed so intent on having me enjoy myself. And I did…”</p><p class="p4">Hilda frowned and twisted at the strands of one of her pigtails before continuing, “I think she just wants us to relax after everything. I don’t want to think that she’s not practicing what she’s preaching, y’know? That wouldn’t be fair, would it? I think even the Professor deserves to have a little romantic fun every now and again.”</p><p class="p4">The small group went silent. Even Raphael quieted his chewing to contemplate Hilda’s words. Claude felt a smile forming on his face. Because as always, it was nice to see Hilda actually care about something.</p><p class="p4">“I’m sorry, Hilda,” Ignatz said, shifting on the bench, “I didn’t mean to upset you. A-and you’re right of course! The Professor deserves to relax too!” He looked down, twiddling his fingers together. “It’s just, the last time I saw her, she looked kind of upset.”</p><p class="p4">Claude felt his heart sink. “What? Why?”</p><p class="p4">“Ohhh, that’s right,” Raphael chimed in, finally finished with his three meals. “We saw her saying goodbye to her dad– er– the Captain, before he left for his next mission. Yeah… She looked a bit down after that.”</p><p class="p4">Ignatz adjusted his glasses idly. “Maybe if she wants us to enjoy ourselves this moon, she might also want the same thing for Captain Jeralt. But he’s still working.”</p><p class="p4">Another silence engulfed the table, this time more gloomy.</p><p class="p4">Claude cursed at himself in his head. <em>Of course she’s not just thinking about her students. Of course she wanted her dad to have an easy time this moon, too. But there’s nothing to be done about that. Rhea’s always pushing him out the door…</em></p><p class="p4">And then Claude felt a surge of determination run through him. Byleth’s words echoed in his mind, <em>‘It’s a good thing. You’re always looking to the future, preparing for the best outcome.’</em></p><p class="p4">Didn’t he promise her that he’d take it easy and enjoy himself? Didn’t he tell her that she’d have to be there at the Ball for him to do so?</p><p class="p4">He put on the best smile he could muster and sat up straight to face the three deer at the table with him.</p><p class="p4">“Come on now, there’s nothing to be so depressed about,” he said lightly. “It’s like Hilda said, Teach needs to practice what she’s preaching. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that she does.”</p><p class="p4">And so he did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! (Is my Hilda favoritism showing yet? 👀)</p><p>Just a note, the next update will probably be in two weeks. This week has not been kind to me, so I'll need more time to finish/clean up Ch. 3 and draft Ch. 4. </p><p>In this chapter, Claude is making the effort to get closer to Byleth and is realizing that he's already BFFs with her. I wanted to kinda nudge at the fact (head-canon?) that Claude is always thinking ahead while Byleth is always doing her best in the present. I think those qualities make them compliment each other out nicely. Also Hilda is wiser then she looks! AlsoX2 I know that 'Raphael is a hungry, hungry boy' is probably a tired trope, but what can I say? I love my hungry, hungry boy.</p><p>The title of this chapter are lyrics from the song Drumming Song by Florence + The Machine. (I like to read the titles in the FE3H narrator's voice, lol. Same VA as Jeralt I think?) No surprise, the song is about her heart beating violently in her chest when she gets close to a certain someone. Really, for this story, it's just a wink and a nod to Claude's growing romantic interest in Byleth.</p><p>I hope you are all well. This year has been extremely shitty, but I'm trying my best to be more positive, if anything for the sake of my own health. My job always leaves me in a sour mood, but I find writing helps me de-stress. I'm glad you guys are happy with the story so far.</p><p>Looking forward to writing some more!</p><p>Stay safe &amp; stay well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. If you got a really lovely place to go.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The future is looking brighter until it isn't. Claude and Byleth make a promise, right before a beloved figure is lost. Out of everyone, Lorenz is the first one to to swear to help his professor.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>Chapter 3</strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>If you got a really lovely place to go</strong><br/>
<strong>I will chase my goals, yeah, to make me whole.</strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p4">At the Ball, Claude pulled Byleth onto the dance floor. They tripped and stumbled over each other’s feet as they danced the best they could, failing utterly. Others snootily glared their way. Edelgard’s dirty look was particularly heated. But it didn’t matter. Because every time he kicked Byleth’s toes she would bite back a laugh, and every time she bumped her head against his chin to look at their feet, he got to playfully tease her.</p><p class="p4">It was fun in an unorthodox way. The best way.</p><p class="p4">Finally, at some point, an aghast Lorenz twirled in to slap Claude’s hands off of Byleth. “Professor, please! I will not stand by and watch this. I cannot fathom how you instructed Hilda when your own form is so ungraceful!”</p><p class="p4">Claude laughed and Lorenz just glared back.</p><p class="p4">“<em>You</em> are not helping.” It was an insult, but it did nothing to kill the mood.</p><p class="p4">Byleth offered her hand to the nobleman with a well-meaning smile. “I’d appreciate it if you taught me then, Lorenz.”</p><p class="p4">Even as he huffed and puffed, Lorenz smiled too. “As you wish.”</p><p class="p4">Claude winked at them both (just to get another rise out of the Gloucester boy) before being pulled away by Petra, laughing that he danced like a wyvern on a rampage.</p><p class="p4">Overall, the night was fun. Claude got his fill of dancing, his fill of gossip, and not so much his fill of wine. As he leaned against the wall with a plate of h’orderves in his hand that Lysithea was not-so-subtlety picking off of, he watched his Professor get passed around the dance floor.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>Oh, the curse of popularity.</em>
</p><p class="p4">He was fairly positive that they hadn’t given her a break yet, but he wasn’t about to step in. Byleth, while it seemed the constant waltzing was finally wearing her down, was still smiling and chatting with all her adoring students. She was having fun, like a young adult at a party with her friends was suppose to do.</p><p class="p4">Eventually, he got his fill of people watching.</p><p class="p4">After witnessing Lysithea cram three whole pastries down her throat, he put his plate down and quietly slipped out of the Reception Hall and into the cold air of the courtyard. The night sky was clear and the stars shone brightly, twinkling so vibrantly that Claude felt a pull to get closer to them.</p><p class="p4">He recalled Ignatz theorizing about the view from the Goddess Tower, and he also recalled Hilda’s presumption that Byleth would sneak up there. He smirked to himself.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>Will you be breaking the rules with me tonight, Teach? </em>
</p><p class="p4">Keeping his eyes peeled for the Monastery staff, Claude glided his way to the Goddess Tower. As he reached the door, he was surprised to find it unlocked. Clicking his tongue, he inwardly chided the guards for a job poorly done. It was like they <em>wanted</em> horny teenagers to sneak up into a holy monument.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>Maybe somebody picked the lock and is already up there.</em>
</p><p class="p4">Snaking in, he crept his way up the stone stairwell, glancing at the vines and cracks that decorated the old walls. As he reached the top, he scanned the area for like-minded trouble makers. But it was empty. The only other signs of life were the chirps of insects and nesting birds.</p><p class="p4">Confirming that he was alone, Claude took a few minutes to survey the tower in more detail. Murals long-faded discolored the walls. Small flowers sprouted from the foliage that overtook the cracks in the stone. And out the tall window, the sky was beautiful. Moonlight shone through the openings, illuminating the top of the tower with a soft blue glow.</p><p class="p4">Before he could take in any more detail, he heard the approaching click-clack of a familiar pair of heels behind him. Turning around, he grinned as his eyes met Byleth’s silhouette. Hilda had been right after all.</p><p class="p4">“Oh. Hey, Teach. What brings you to the Goddess Tower?”</p><p class="p4">Byleth shifted on her feet, her posture slumped and tired. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but clamped it shut right after.</p><p class="p4">Damn. She really <em>was</em> becoming easier to read.</p><p class="p4">“You know what, never mind,” he said before she could think of a response, “The answer is as clear as day. You couldn't bear the ball anymore and simply had to escape.”</p><p class="p4">“I just needed a break,” she mumbled after a moment, stepping closer.</p><p class="p4">Claude knew her to be a bit prideful, yet honest nevertheless. She was no doubt embarrassed to admit to being tired for once.</p><p class="p4">She gazed around at the same faded murals and greenery that he had been investigating. Moonlight bounced off her skin and he could spy some color painting her cheeks. Was she blushing from being embarrassed? Or maybe she sneaked too much wine.</p><p class="p4">He stepped closer. “There’s nothing wrong with admitting you're not comfortable in a noisy crowd. Really, I get it. I'm the same way.”</p><p class="p4">She turned to blink at him, her lip twitching upward. “I don't believe it.”</p><p class="p4">He laughed, “See right through me, do you? But I really do mean it. Parties aren't for me. Music and fun are all well and good, but those dances the nobles do are… something else.”</p><p class="p4">Claude recalled the glares the other nobles had thrown his and Byleth’s way when they were dancing clumsily together.</p><p class="p4">Presently, he was drawn in by the gentle gaze she was giving him. His floodgates opened involuntarily. “I was never really taught to do that sort of thing. My upbringing was… lacking in certain ways.”</p><p class="p4">Byleth’s smile dropped, and he could tell she picked up on his shift in attitude. "Even though you're heir to the Alliance?”</p><p class="p4">“Even so,” he shrugged. "I may have secured a fancy new title, but who I am on the inside... Well, status alone can't change that.”</p><p class="p4">She only nodded in response, peering back at the old stone walls.</p><p class="p4">“That's a bit of an aside, though,” Claude added, not wanting to stop talking just yet.</p><p class="p4">Hilda had been right about Byleth sneaking up here. Was she also right about their professor having a secret lover? It was worth asking Byleth about the rumor, just in case she reacted the same way Hilda recounted.</p><p class="p4">“Say, Teach... have you heard the legends about this tower? They say if a man and a woman pray for the same thing here, on this night, the goddess will grant their wish without fail.”</p><p class="p4">Rather than answering with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or an absent-minded pause, Byleth answered with a question, “Why tonight?”</p><p class="p4">Claude smirked. <em>Of course.</em> If she had really spaced out for a full minute after hearing about the rumor like Hilda said, he figured she was thinking less about a secret lover and more about how the legend came to be.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>Typical Teach. I should have figured.</em>
</p><p class="p4">"Who knows? Maybe it has something to do with celebrating the anniversary of the Monastery's completion. Maybe the goddess comes down from above on this night and this night alone to celebrate with us. Even goddesses like to party, right?”</p><p class="p4">Byleth hummed, another curious twitch lifting her lips once more.</p><p class="p4">He continued, “The truth is that it's just a legend the students here like to tell. It's not based on any real facts. But…”</p><p class="p4">Maybe she hadn’t been thinking about fulfilling the rumor with some secret partner, but who would he be to let this perfect opportunity slip from his fingers?</p><p class="p4">“…I suppose it would be a waste to pass up a chance of having our wish granted. What do you say, Teach? Care to try?” He waggled his eyebrows at her as he asked.</p><p class="p4">Considering his question, she shifted her weight to one leg and cupped her chin in her hand. “What would we pray for?”</p><p class="p4">“Hm... Let's see…"</p><p class="p4">Since the time the rumor had first reached his ears, Claude had already thought out what his wish would be. He wanted to wish that Byelth would help see his dreams come to fruition. It was the same strong desire that struck him the moment he watched her wield the Sword of the Creator like it was a part of herself. The weapon that could cut down mountains. That could cut down barriers.</p><p class="p4">Now that desire felt too selfish. Because now, Byleth wasn’t just some pawn on his board to be pushed into place. She was his friend. He wanted her power, but he also wanted her companionship. He wanted her to see her own dreams come true. He longed for her desires to be similar to his own. Finally, he wanted them to see their dreams come true together.</p><p class="p4">When had she become <em>a part </em>of his bright future? Was he a part of her’s?</p><p class="p4">“How about we pray for our ambitions to come true?” he finally answered,satisfied with his wording. “You don't exactly seem like the selfish type, but even you must have an ambition or two.”</p><p class="p4">Byleth nodded, “More of a hope…”</p><p class="p4">Her small confession felt like a strange relief. Everybody had secrets. But that didn’t mean those secrets were bad ones. They could be optimistic goals. Like his.</p><p class="p4">“That’s what I thought. It's the same for everyone. No one is ever completely satisfied. Everyone has something they long for. Otherwise, what's the point of it all? Of course, same goes for me. Without even realizing it, I found myself holding tight to some pretty big ambitions.”</p><p class="p4">He paused for a moment to properly face Byleth. Stood against the window, she looked like she belonged in the sky, alongside the stars he would so often seek as a child.</p><p class="p4">“If you would... I would love for you to share in those ambitions with me, Teach.”</p><p class="p4">She said nothing, but the warm, wide smile she gave him in return spoke volumes. Claude embraced the giddiness he felt at her response.</p><p class="p4">“But all that aside,” he dramatically threw his hands into a praying position, “let's get started. Let's pray to the goddess before she tuckers out for the evening.”</p><p class="p4">Byleth laughed silently and pressed her hands together.</p><p class="p4">“Okay… Here goes,” Claude squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh, divine Goddess! Hear our prayers! We beseech you and your radiance! Please, grant us that which we seek!”</p><p class="p4">A peaceful silence answered his mocking call. Peaking his eyes back open, they instantly met with Byleth’s again.</p><p class="p4">Yeah. She was absolutely blushing still.</p><p class="p4">“Huh,” he smirked, “I think that should do it. The goddess'll make our dreams come true now, yeah?”</p><p class="p4">“I wonder.” The look she gave him was almost mischievous.</p><p class="p4">“At any rate, we've done all we can,” he sighed. “Whether we actually believe our dreams will come true or not is up to us.”</p><p class="p4">“Of course. Let’s work our hardest.”</p><p class="p4">His heart swelled. Maybe the way they dancing and prayed and flirted wasn’t proper or normal. But together, they still connected in their own unorthodox way. And for Claude, that’s what mattered. They were two oddballs who had found each other.</p><p class="p4">He bit his lip, unsure of what else to say. His embarrassment of opening up was now catching up to him. As comfortable as Byleth made him feel, it still wasn’t enough to completely eliminate the anxiety he felt from having his walls down.</p><p class="p4">Plus, he doubted that they would stay alone in the infamous canoodling tower for much longer. He would hate to have this chat ruined by any eavesdroppers.</p><p class="p4">“I suppose we should head back soon. I'm sure everyone is looking for you. Just promise to spare a dance for me. Okay, Teach? I swear, so long as it's not one of those goofy noble dances, I am a treasure on the dance floor!”</p><p class="p4">“I wish the same could be said for me,” Byleth huffed, joining him on the way back down.</p><p class="p4">Side-by-side they left the tower.</p><p class="p4">Maybe, with a little more time, <em>all </em>their walls would crumble to the ground, like a mountain cut in two.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">◊◊◊</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">
  <em>“CAPTAIN!”</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4">Leonie’s blood-curdling scream shred through the air like a knife. It was so desperate – so <em>horrified – </em>that Claude immediately spun around from the small spot at the ruins he was investigating to see what had made her shriek like <em>that</em>.</p><p class="p4">But Leonie was far away enough to be out-of-sight, past the larger ruins protruding from the center of the grounds. They obstructed his view of the rest of the units not in his group. She was with Jeralt’s mercenaries and some of the other students. With Byleth.</p><p class="p4">He turned to look at Lorenz, and for the first time since he had known the haughty nobleman, they shared a full conversation without exchanging a word.</p><p class="p4">Lorenz immediately hoisted himself up onto his horse and extended his hand to Claude, who grasped it to pull himself up on the saddle as well.</p><p class="p4">He turned to the group he oversaw. “REGROUP!”</p><p class="p4">In an instant they were off, charging across the ruins’ grounds to reach the other side where the scream came from. The sky began to downpour with icy rain. Claude looked back for a second to see the rest of his group trailing behind to catch up.</p><p class="p4">Once they were close enough to make out what had happened, Claude felt his heart drop down into his stomach.</p><p class="p4">Leonie was slumped against Hilda who was holding her tightly, patting awkwardly at her back. The other students and Jeralt’s men stood to the side, staring off into the field that separated the ruins from the Monastery. Finally, he could see Lysithea, Mercedes, and a couple of the mercs running into the field towards Jeralt.</p><p class="p4">Who was lying motionless in Byleth’s lap.</p><p class="p4">Byleth sat still with her back facing them, her arms held around her father. The rain blurred their forms, but it was obvious to Claude what he was seeing.</p><p class="p4">“You’ve got to be kidding me,” was all he could utter, sliding off of the saddle.</p><p class="p4">Lorenz followed behind him on horseback as he marched up to Hilda. Once he was close enough, he could hear Leonie’s sobbing over the rain. The sound twisted something painfully in his chest. Never would he think he’d ever hear Leonie cry.</p><p class="p4">“What happened?” Claude asked, his voice sharper than intended.</p><p class="p4">Hilda shook her head, still looking off into the field. “It’s– I don’t know– it’s hard to explain.” She tore her gaze from their teacher to look back at Claude, her eyes full of unshed tears. “I <em>knew</em> Monica was strange. But I didn’t expect <em>this</em>.”</p><p class="p4">“Monica?” Lorenz asked.</p><p class="p4">“And <em>Solon,</em>” Leonie rasped out. “Those fucking bastards–”</p><p class="p4">Leonie tried to march off into the field, but Hilda shushed her and pulled her back into her arms. The crying girl didn’t put up much of a fight for once, slumping back into Hilda’s shoulder.</p><p class="p4">“Think about what the Professor is feeling, Leonie,” Hilda said, her voice tight. “Give her a minute.”</p><p class="p4">Claude felt a hand pat his shoulder. Turning to the side he saw one of Jeralt’s mercs frowning deeply at him.</p><p class="p4">“Please let me explain what we saw.”</p><p class="p4">Realizing that he was being deemed the one now in charge, Claude nodded for the man to continue.</p><p class="p4">“One of the students we rescued, some redheaded girl, stabbed the Captain. His kid tried to intervene with that sword of hers, but then that mage guy from Remire appeared and used some magic to deflect it. Then he took the girl and they just vanished!”</p><p class="p4">“I see.”</p><p class="p4">Anger. Vexation. Claude could recall the livid expression that Byleth had worn after their fight in Remire. He wondered briefly of he was reflecting the same thing.</p><p class="p4">First Jeritza, then Tomas, now a fucking student? One that Byleth and the Deer had stuck their necks out to rescue no less?</p><p class="p4">
  <em>Why kill Jeralt? Wasn’t Flayn their target before? What changed?</em>
</p><p class="p4">Before he could think anymore on it, the rest of his group finally caught up. Glancing to the side, he saw Ignatz clutch his hand over his mouth at the sight in the field before them. Linhardt actually gagged. Marianne faced the ground and pressed her hands together, immediately mumbling a prayer.</p><p class="p4">As the others lingered behind, Raphael stepped forward, his mouth pulled into a thin line.</p><p class="p4">“Claude? Does the Professor… need help?”</p><p class="p4">The House Leader didn’t need to ask for clarification, knowing that when Raphael offered his help, he was more often than not offering his literal strength.</p><p class="p4">“Yeah. I think so, Raph.”</p><p class="p4">Claude turned to look at Leonie’s horse, but thought better than to ask for it. She was a wreck, and she would need it for the ride back. He was about to request one of the mercenary’s steeds, but he was blocked by Lorenz striding up to his side on his own.</p><p class="p4">“Allow me to offer Argo for the Captain’s journey back,” he said simply, patting his horse’s neck, “It’s the least I can do for our Professor at this time.”</p><p class="p4">Claude plastered on an appreciative smile. “Thank you Lorenz. Let’s go.”</p><p class="p4">The three young men trudged out into the field. The cold rain was already icing over the ground. After a few minutes, they reached Byleth and the rest. Jeralt was still being cradled in his daughter’s arms, a serene, haunting smile on his pale face. The ground beneath them was soaked red with his pooling blood.</p><p class="p4">Lysithea and Mercedes approached the boys at their arrival.</p><p class="p4">“There was nothing our magic could do,” Mercedes explained sadly, “The Professor tried her own but it had no effect on the wound.”</p><p class="p4">“It’s this knife,” Lysithea uttered through a deep scowl. She held the small blade in her hands, wrapped in a piece of torn fabric from one of the merc’s tunics. “It’s… <em>unnatural.</em>”</p><p class="p4">There seemed to be more on the young girls mind, but Claude could barely focus on that. Now that he was close enough, he could see Byleth’s shoulders shaking. The rain soaking her clothes and hair made her look so small.</p><p class="p4">“We can at least say we tried,” he offered. “Please, return to the others. Bring the blade to Manuela, Lysithea. She might have some insight.”</p><p class="p4">The girls both nodded slowly, stepping past Claude to cross the field again.</p><p class="p4">Walking up to Byleth, Claude placed a hand on her shoulder. He felt it tremble beneath his touch. Impulsively, he gripped her tighter. Dread ate at his gut.</p><p class="p4">“Teach.”</p><p class="p4">“S-ah–” she choked on her words, ducking her head further in an attempt to hide a sob.</p><p class="p4">The noise painfully rattled his heart.</p><p class="p4">“Sorry,” she tried again. “I need… help carrying him.”</p><p class="p4">Raphael stepped forward, kneeling gently down beside his teacher. “That’s what we’re here for Professor,” he spoke kindly. “Don’t worry. He’ll be in good hands. You don’t have ta’ worry about anything.”</p><p class="p4">Byleth nodded once. Carefully, Raphael and the two mercs took Jeralt from her bloodied arms. Lorenz slid off his saddle. One of men wrapped his cloak around the Captain’s oozing wound to suppress the bleeding. After securing the fabric, they lifted him up carefully to drape his body over the awaiting seat.</p><p class="p4">Lorenz averted his gaze from the Captain’s body as he took Argo’s reigns to guide him by foot. He shot Claude a half-heartedly stern look.</p><p class="p4">“Do not linger long.”</p><p class="p4">Not waiting for a response, he turned around to start leading his horse back to the Monastery. Raphael and the mercenaries walked on either side to keep Jeralt from slipping off of the saddle.</p><p class="p4">As he watched them go, Claude felt Byleth grip his forearm. He braced his arm for support as she used it to pull herself to her feet. Finally, as she stood, he leaned over her shoulder to look at her face.</p><p class="p4">Even though he had heard her crying, it was still a shock to see tears streaming down her face, mingling with the rain. She looked entirely heartbroken. His walls crumbled around him at the sight.</p><p class="p4">It was hard to believe that he had once thought that she was devoid of feeling. It seemed like so long ago that he couldn’t get a read on her, imagining that she was an emotionless doll who had somehow magically come to life and didn’t know what it meant to be living.</p><p class="p4">But now, Claude could read her like a book.</p><p class="p4">He knew which little smiles meant what. He could see the prideful puff in her posture when one of her students passed an examine. He could feel the passion that radiated off of her body when she fought in battle or when she was mad. He knew about the subtle downward quirk to her lips and the slight furrow to her brow that signified that she was displeased. He knew that when she was curious she would shift her weight to one leg, and lean her face into the palm her hand. He knew that she could blush while pretending like she wasn’t blushing. He knew how her eyes would grow wide and twinkle like stars when she was excited.</p><p class="p4">But for once, he wasn’t happy to discover a new emotion she could show. He could read what she was feeling with a single glance, and it felt like an arrow through the chest.</p><p class="p4">“Hey…” what was he supposed to even say?</p><p class="p4">Never had he experienced loss like <em>this</em>. There was no relatable thread that he could pull on from his experiences that would lead to an answer.</p><p class="p4">As he watched her bottom lip tremble and her eyes squeeze shut, Claude made a fast decision. He was shitty at comforting others if he couldn’t relate. The least he could do for her in this moment was to just be his unguarded, honest, blunt self. No fake smiles or smart remarks or timid words of pity. He would give her a side of himself that only she could truly see.</p><p class="p4">“Teach,” he said, more assured. “We can’t stay here.” He grabbed for her hand. “Let’s go. Everybody’s waiting for us. We won’t leave you behind.”</p><p class="p4">Finally, she raised her head to look at him. Biting harshly down on her lip, she looked at him as though she wanted to say something, but she couldn’t in the moment. She was still gasping out sobs between labored breathing. Instead, she tightened her grip on his hand, and turned to begin their journey back.</p><p class="p4">They walked at a surprising brisk pace. Claude thought she might drag her feet, but she seemed determined to get back to the Monastery as quickly as possible. He wasn’t about to ask her to slow down. The rain was now seeping past his armor and soaking his clothes. Plus, there was the possibility of lingering danger.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>She’s a mercenary, you idiot. She knows that.</em>
</p><p class="p4">He did his best to match her speed, and let a silence sit between them. The feel of her hand strongly gripping his own grounded him. The beat of the rain allowed him to focus, and he decided to think ahead.</p><p class="p4">An investigation would no doubt take place. Monica and Solon would be hunted down by the Knights. Would Rhea allow Byleth to go after them? Probably not. The Archbishop, for all the dangerous bullshit she put them through, was weirdly overbearing towards Byleth. But it wouldn’t be right for his Teach to be sidelined. This was personal.</p><p class="p4">They had <em>just</em> promised each other to help see one another’s ambitions come true. He doubted Byleth would be okay with letting other people deal with her father’s murderer. The thought certainly bothered Claude.</p><p class="p4">Maybe he couldn’t offer words of comfort, but he could do what he did best instead. Investigate, snoop, and scheme.</p><p class="p4">“I’ll keep my ears open, Teach,” he declared, breaking the silence. “I won’t let any information on them get past us.”</p><p class="p4">As he glanced towards her, he could see a fire now burning behind her eyes, still flooded with tears and hot with rage.</p><p class="p4">“Thank you.” Her voice was strained and thick with emotion.</p><p class="p4">They exchanged no other words. Claude instead focused on keeping up their pace while rubbing circles into her knuckles with his thumb in a motion that he hoped was soothing.</p><p class="p4">By the time they reached the gates, Jeralt had already been taken away to the infirmary for examination, as relayed by Lorenz. Byleth quickly thanked the boys still lingering at the bottom of the steps to the entrance hall.</p><p class="p4">Looking up, Rhea was there. She stood at the top of the staircase, looming over them with a solemn, sad look on her face. Claude hesitated, not wanting to step closer to the Archbishop. Byleth did not. She slid her hand from his with a gentleness he wasn’t anticipating, her fingers skimming against his own before falling away. Then, she marched up the steps.</p><p class="p4">“Professor…” Rhea began, opening her arms.</p><p class="p4">But Byleth side-stepped her with a shake of the head. “Please, I need to collect myself.”</p><p class="p4">Rhea pulled a face that was too difficult to read. “I understand. Take all the time you need to mourn.”</p><p class="p4">She could say nothing else before Byleth darted off towards the dormitories, no doubt to shelter herself in her room. Claude thought about following her, but quickly dismissed the urge. There was nothing left he could say, and she needed time to process.</p><p class="p4">Instead, he turned to Lorenz and Raphael. “Let’s take a page out of Teach’s book. I think we’re done for the day.”</p><p class="p4">The larger boy simply nodded and Lorenz breathed out a quiet affirmation.</p><p class="p4">They walked up the steps together. Passing Rhea, Claude ignored her while Raphael gave a small wave and Lorenz offered a quick bow. The Archbishop barley responded, staring off towards the gates. The cynical voice in Claude’s head wondered if she truly felt bad, or if she was simply a good actress. They continued down the path towards their rooms.</p><p class="p4">“Poor Professor,” Raphael mumbled. He went to scratch his head, but stopped himself. His hands were still dirtied with blood that not even the rain could wash away completely. “Guess I’ll have to clean up a bit. Uh… well, get some rest, ‘kay?”</p><p class="p4">“Hey, no need to tell me twice,” Claude said lightly, in an attempt to brighten the dreary atmosphere. “Thanks again Raph.”</p><p class="p4">“Of course! Happy to help.” Raphael managed a tight smile before walking off towards the bathhouses.</p><p class="p4">“This is inconceivable,” Lorenz hissed out as they reached the bottom of the steps to the first floor dormitories.</p><p class="p4">Claude resisted a roll of his eyes and stopped to lean against the stone wall. Of course, now that it was just the two of them, Lorenz decided to lose his temper.</p><p class="p4">“What are we to do? I predict Lady Rhea will not allow the Professor to pursue those traitors. And we have no clue how long it will take for her to properly grieve.”</p><p class="p4">That… made Claude pause. He couldn’t help but gape at the Gloucester boy still standing besides him. He hadn’t expected Lorenz to think so quickly on how to help their teacher get revenge.</p><p class="p4">Maybe it shouldn’t of been surprising though.</p><p class="p4">If he could say he had one thing in common with Lorenz, it would be the fact that they were always planning ahead to help the commoners around them. For Lorenz, it was on the honor of being a noble. While Claude didn’t see himself as a ‘nobleman,’ could he really argue that they were that much different when they were both trying their best to lead correctly?</p><p class="p4">At his silent response, Lorenz scowled. “Whatever is <em>that</em> look for, Claude.”</p><p class="p4">“It’s just,” he shook his head and smiled despite himself, “I was expecting a complaint, but not about Rhea. I’m surprised you’re even thinking about going behind her back for Teach’s sake.”</p><p class="p4">“I said no such thing,” Lorenz huffed indignantly, crossing his arms and leaning against the opposite wall. “Have some decency! There is no need to ‘go behind her back.’ I’m simply noting the obvious. It will be difficult to convince Lady Rhea to allow the Professor charge over the search for Monica and Solon while she’s in such a… compromised state.”</p><p class="p4">“‘Difficult’ is a nice way of saying ‘impossible,’” Claude noted. “You’re no slacker, Lorenz, I’ll give you that. Even you noticed how <em>motherly</em> Rhea acts towards our dear Professor. But if I am to disagree with you on something, it’s your viewpoint on Teach. I know she’ll be grieving, but you make it sound like she’s going to combust. Have some faith. She’s seasoned enough to get back on her feet.”</p><p class="p4">“They could be found tomorrow for all we know, Claude!” Lorenz bit back.“Do you really believe the Professor can cope overnight? With her lack of experience in emotions no less? You’re right. I am no slacker. And I know you aren’t either. So <em>think</em> for a minute. It would be irresponsible to believe she could be prepared at a drop of a hat. And we won’t convince Lady Rhea overnight either!”</p><p class="p4">“Okay, okay!” Claude bounced off the wall and threw his hands in the air, as though he was surrendering. “You’re right on that. Or at least, you would be.”</p><p class="p4">Lorenz threw up an annoyed eyebrow. “<em>Claude.</em>”</p><p class="p4">“Just listen! I guarantee you that Solon and the rest will <em>not</em> be found tomorrow. Or even in a week.”</p><p class="p4">Lorenz’s frown twisted into a thoughtful grimace. He tapped his fingers against his forearm. “You can guarantee that? How?”</p><p class="p4">“The Knights can’t just dispatch as they normally do tomorrow. I think you can tell me why.”</p><p class="p4">The nobleman paused for a moment in thought, before realization washed over his face like the rain.</p><p class="p4">“Of course. How thoughtless of me. Their Captain just died.”</p><p class="p4">“Right,” Claude nodded. “It will take at least a couple days to re-organize themselves. They’re under the order of Rhea, but she wouldn’t send them off blindly. Alois will most likely take over the role as Captain, but he’ll want to attend Jeralt’s funeral, which will no doubt be soon. After that, they’ll be ready to go. <em>However</em>, after they’re done collecting themselves, they’ll face another problem.”</p><p class="p4">“Speak clearly, Claude,” Lorenz said, uncrossing his arms and standing up straight as well. “What do you mean?”</p><p class="p4">
  <em>Wow, he’s actually humoring me.</em>
</p><p class="p4">“Tomas planned what happened at the Ruins today. I don’t know why their goal was to kill Jeralt, but they did it, and they got away. So, since they planned this little coup, they most likely had a full-proof escape route or hiding place in mind. <em>They</em> are in control of the situation right now, which means when we find them, it will probably be because they want to be found.”</p><p class="p4">“You think he <em>wants</em> to be found?”</p><p class="p4">“<em>Probably</em>, yes, but not right away. Remember that Tomas used to work here? It took a while for him to reveal himself as Solon, didn’t it? He’s playing a long game. Keep in mind, this is a hunch, but I think he’ll need more than a week to prepare his next step.”</p><p class="p4">Lorenz put a finger to his chin. “Solon… we know he has connections with the Flame Emperor and the Death Knight. After all the encounters we’ve had with them, it does seem likely that they have some sort of vendetta against the Church.”</p><p class="p4">Claude leaned back against the stone wall again, the adrenaline from fighting earlier finally fading away.</p><p class="p4">“Teach thinks they want to take over the world.”</p><p class="p4">Lorenz scoffed.</p><p class="p4">“I know right? But it would make sense wouldn’t it? The Church is the linchpin to the structure of Fódlan on all sides. If they topple it, it will hurt the Alliance, the Kingdom, and the Empire. It could cause war in this country. And spread from there.”</p><p class="p4">Silence enveloped the small space they stood in as Claude watched Lorenz ponder over his theory. He knew it wasn’t full-proof, and he knew it wasn’t without it’s holes. Yet his peer seemed to be taking it seriously, and that felt like some kind of victory in and of itself.</p><p class="p4">Finally, Lorenz sighed, and all the fight he still had in him fell from his shoulders as they dropped.</p><p class="p4">“This is all speculation. Absurd speculation. And I believe we’re getting ahead of ourselves.”</p><p class="p4">“Hey, you started it.”</p><p class="p4">Claude smirked as Lorenz threw daggers at him with his narrowed eyes.</p><p class="p4">“Enough of this,” he said, stalking towards the steps.</p><p class="p4">He stopped at the bottom, throwing one last look over his shoulder at Claude.</p><p class="p4">“For once, I hope you know what you’re talking about. It would be shameful to go behind Lady Rhea’s back. But it would be an even bigger disgrace to fail at aiding our Professor in pursuing justice. We owe her a great deal. I think we can both agree on that.”</p><p class="p4">Claude gave a two-fingered salute. “That we can.”</p><p class="p4">Lorenz strode up the stairs as Claude turned to watch the rain for just a little longer, feeling the chill seep through his skin and touch his bones.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>‘Justice.’ What a pretty word for revenge.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Claude: "Oh! Teach stared off into space that one time because she was theory crafting about the history of the rumor. LOL typical."</p><p>*Cut to Byleth daydreaming about meeting Claude in the tower because she has a fat crush on him.*</p><p>Thank you for reading!</p><p>Please note, the next update will probably be another 2 weeks. It's been... a time. 😬I guess things are looking up? (God, I hope so.) I felt good for about two days before some bad rumors/news surfaced. Anyway... 😒</p><p>I love the juxtaposition between support C Claude, "I can't ever tell what you're thinking," and Goddess Tower Claude, "I can read you like a book." Also, RIP a good dad. I hope I conveyed Claude and Lorenz's conversation at the end well enough. It's my head-canon that Claude's way of comforting others is by doing everything in his power to help them by finding answers/solutions to their problems. Hence, 'give me your dad's diary.'</p><p>The title of this chapter has lyrics from the song Roses by Watsky. It's about coming to terms with death being a part of life, and moving on to have goals/aspirations for yourself while you're still living. (Kinda fitting for this particular chapter.)</p><p>I hope you're all doing good! Still drafting ch. 4!</p><p>Stay safe &amp; stay well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. But I will be the one you need...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Morale is low, but that doesn't stop Claude from following through with being his professor's personal investigator. His plans are interrupted when Edelgard invites him for tea. The issue of trust is brought to Claude's mind. That trust is tested when he finds Byleth holding onto a diary that holds answers.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>Chapter 4</strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>But I will be the one you need,<br/>
</strong>
  <strong>the way I can't be without you.</strong>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">The funeral was held a few days after Jeralt’s murder. The rain from that day had passed and the sky now expanded into a never-ending blue that felt completely out of place for the sorrowful atmosphere.</p><p class="p3">Knights, mercenaries, and students walked down the Cathedral’s suspended bridge towards the small cemetery nestled in a corner of the Monastery. Cold winds cut across Claude’s skin as he walked close to the front.</p><p class="p3">He had been surprised that morning when Byleth had knocked on his door, asking with a raspy voice if he would walk with her during the ceremony. He had agreed easily, if a bit awkwardly. Honestly, he felt as out of place as the bright blue sky while walking so close to the casket. And it wasn’t just because he hadn’t really known Jeralt well.</p><p class="p3">Fódlan funeral étiquette was different from what he had grown up with in Almyra. From his home, funerals were more of a celebration of the life lived rather than a sad wake for the life lost. He had only ever been to a few for distant relatives; family he had barely known. But he could recount with clarity the delicious foods and roaring fires and the long-winded tales over liquor of the heroics and victories of the lost warrior being honored.</p><p class="p3">It was different here. In a way that made Claude painfully homesick.</p><p class="p3">He pulled his cloak tighter around himself, shivering. It was quiet except for the march of the many feet behind him, and the smalls sniffles and whispers he could overhear. It felt as though the world around them would shatter if anyone spoke at even a normal volume.</p><p class="p3">He kept his eyes glued to Byleth’s back. She walked behind the casket, which was being carried by Jeralt’s battalion men and Alois. Rhea and Seteth led the march. Leonie walked beside Byleth. They strode together hand-in-hand, their grips on each other tight.</p><p class="p3">Leonie was obviously shelving whatever grudge she was holding for the Captain’s daughter so that instead they could seek comfort in one another. Neither of the girls were alone when they were both feeling the same kind of loss.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Grief is odd in that way, with how it can bring people together.</em>
</p><p class="p3">Eventually, they reached the hole in the ground. The crowd gathered as best they could within the small area, some lingering on and above the stairs. Claude could easily spot the deer gathered together, overlooking the grounds from the stone pathway above. Hilda waved meekly in his direction. He had stayed with the front of the march, now standing uncomfortably close to the grave alongside his other classmate and his teacher.</p><p class="p3">After everyone settled into place, Jeralt was lowered down carefully to join his wife. Claude recalled grimly that inside her coffin lied a hauntingly pristine body. Dead but somehow untouched by time.</p><p class="p3">Unsettling memories of Aelfric turning into a beast crawled to the forefront of his mind. He had become a blood-thirsty monster trying to reanimate that corpse; Sitri, Byleth’s mother. That was the first instance in which Claude realized that Rhea’s interest in Byleth didn’t just stem from her prowess as a fighter or ability to wield the holiest sword. Sitri had been close to Rhea. There was still an unexplained history there.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Questions for later, maybe. But not now.</em>
</p><p class="p3">It was a thought that he had after Sitri was re-buried. He had the same thought today.</p><p class="p3">Returning to the present, his gaze trailed back to Leonie and Byleth. The Captain’s protégé had turned her face away from the crowd to look over at the distant mountains, unable to completely suppress her tears. The Captain’s daughter watched the burial straightforwardly, with a stony expression. As always though, her eyes betrayed her mask. They were rimmed red and underlined with a bruised, purple hue.</p><p class="p3">She had obviously cried throughout the night. He wondered if she was keeping a strong face on for her students, or if she had simply run out of tears to shed.</p><p class="p3">As the men finished placing the casket, Rhea stepped forward, gesturing to all of the people clustered in the graveyard. “It humbles me to see the lives, touched by dearest Jeralt, all gathered here today. Truly, he was a blessed man, to have so many people in his long life he could call his comrades, his friends, and his family.”</p><p class="p3">Rhea glimpsed at Byleth, who remained in place by the hole in the ground, still holding tightly onto Leonie’s hand. Her attention was on the tombstone now engraved with both of her parents’ names.</p><p class="p3">Claude wasn’t sure what sort of response Rhea was looking for, but when she didn’t receive it, she turned back to the crowd, frowning a bit deeper. She continued to recite pretty phrases and scripture.</p><p class="p3">As he made to glance away from the Archbishop, his eyes accidentally met with Seteth’s. He sent him a <em>look</em>. Annoyance? Disappointment maybe? Claude almost smiled reflexively, a reaction he had honed to wear around people who looked down on him. But he grimaced instead. This wasn’t the time for that.</p><p class="p3">What Seteth was annoyed about was obvious; he shouldn’t be standing with the group of people closest to the former Captain of the Knights.</p><p class="p3">But Byleth had <em>asked</em> him to be here. After their promise to each other in the tower, it would have felt wrong to turn her down. If they were to help one another realize their ambitions, they would inevitably have to face hard times together as well.</p><p class="p3">While keeping eye contact with Seteth, Claude stepped behind his companions and placed his hand on Byleth’s shoulder. Maybe it was a petty move to use her somewhat like a shield from the older man’s eyes, but he wanted to make it clear to the stickler that he wasn’t standing so close to the grave for shits and giggles.</p><p class="p3">He had no time to read Seteth’s response however since he was immediately surprised by how quickly Byleth’s free hand came up to rest over his.</p><p class="p3">Her skin was cold from the winter air. Her fingers were trembling, but not from the chill. Claude looked at their hands, all of his focus now on Byleth’s small one atop of his, shaking.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Right.</em>
</p><p class="p3">It didn’t matter if he felt uncomfortable here. It didn’t matter if others thought he didn’t belong so close to the grieving daughter. What mattered was Byleth’s request to have him close by. Not just because they were sworn to each other’s goals, but because she needed support.</p><p class="p3">She <em>wanted</em> his. Because they were friends.</p><p class="p3">Forgetting his apprehension, Claude maneuvered his hand over her’s, rubbing warmth back into her fingers. His free hand moved up to his other friend’s shoulder. Leonie turned to give him a watery smile at the contact. He returned a small one of his own, hoping it didn’t look too strained.</p><p class="p3">After Rhea finished reciting her final prayer, Alois stepped forward to give his own tear-filled memorial speech. His voice was hard to ignore. Unlike Rhea’s monotonous, holy tone, Alois’ permeated the air loudly, as he spoke from his gut and his heart.</p><p class="p3">For the first time since the funeral started, it felt weirdly more comfortable. Maybe because Alois laughed through his tears while happily recounting Jeralt’s many triumphs. Some of Jeralt’s men in the crowd even laughed along at certain parts, breaking apart the solemn atmosphere that Rhea had carefully established. It felt strangely more like home.</p><p class="p3">Almost too soon, Alois finished after a final farewell to his mentor and returned to his spot on the opposite side of the grave. Claude startled slightly as he felt Byleth carefully slip from under his touch. Her hand slid from Leonie’s and both of the Deer watched numbly as she marched in front of the grave to address the crowd.</p><p class="p3">He swallowed back a sudden sense of anxiety. Leonie tensed up under his hand. He could safely assume that neither of them had suspected that Byleth would <em>want </em>to say something.</p><p class="p3">She faced the people squarely, her back straight and her fists clenched by her sides. It almost looked like she was addressing her students in the classroom. But it was off. She was too stiff. Too still.</p><p class="p3"><em>Nervous, </em>Claude realized. <em>She’s nervous.</em></p><p class="p3">“I don’t need to repeat what has already been said,” she began, her voice projecting loudly, even as is cracked with grief. “Instead, I would like to ask you all to remember the strength of my father’s character. Hardships are… inevitable. We will all face them in the future. Jeralt faced many hardships in his life. Some I was there for and others I was was not. But he never let harrowing times change who he was. At the end of each day, he was a good man, who did honest work.”</p><p class="p3">She paused to take in a heavy breath. The crowd, now more comfortable after Alois’ speech, waited patiently. Some of the mercs even mumbled words of encouragement.</p><p class="p3">Her shoulders relaxed a bit.</p><p class="p3">“Please, continue to take from his example. Work hard for what is right, even when it’s painful. Thank you all for coming today to say goodbye. He would be truly touched that you did.”</p><p class="p3">She left it at that, turning to quickly walk back to her spot. Rhea smiled radiantly at her as she walked by. Byleth simply nodded back.</p><p class="p3">Leonie crossed her arms and looked away from Byleth and the crowd again so that she could cry more discretely. Claude offered his arm to his professor as she got close. She took it wordlessly, gripping his forearm tightly.</p><p class="p3">“Short and sweet, Teach,” he whispered as she settled back in place. “I think he would have appreciated that.”</p><p class="p3">“Yes,” she mumbled back. “He never liked long stories about himself.” She bit her lower lip in a way that was all too reminiscent of when he first saw her cry. “He never told me why though. I think…”</p><p class="p3">At her pause, Claude looked back up briefly. As Rhea was closing out the ceremony, Seteth was shooting him another glare. He was surprised the advisor didn’t lift his finger to his lips to shush them outright.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Whatever.</em>
  
</p><p class="p3">He wouldn’t dare reprimand Byleth on this day. Especially not this moment. Claude leaned in further towards Byleth’s ear, not caring how close it appeared to any nosy onlookers.</p><p class="p3">“Well, if there are any mysteries you need help solving, you know who to come to for help. Right?”</p><p class="p3">As he leaned back, she looked up at him and gave a weak but honest smile.</p><p class="p3">“Yes. I know a guy.”</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p7">As the Knights’ investigation began, so did Claude’s. When he wasn’t snooping through the library and offices, he was stalking soldiers who were relaying information. He eavesdropped on Rhea and Alois’ meeting in the morning and snuck up watchtowers to document troop movement in the early afternoon. He small-talked merchants he knew would be selling rumors and tip-offs after lunch. Anna was especially helpful, providing a rumor about how much Rhea already knew.</p><p class="p7">“I’ll throw in a discount since it’s for the Professor,” she had said with a wink and a smile.</p><p class="p7">It wasn’t the first time Claude was grateful for his Teach’s popularity, and he doubted it would be the last. Even now it was working its wonders. He didn’t have to spy on Byleth since his classmates were already doing that for him, unasked.</p><p class="p7">Currently, he sat in the library with Lysithea, Sylvain, and Linhardt. The former Eagle had his head buried in a large book, using it more like a pillow than a source of knowledge. The former Lion sat with his feet kicked back on the table and his arms crossed behind his head. Lysithea glared at the soles of his boots.</p><p class="p7">“She still hasn’t come back to class yet,” she grumbled over her book.</p><p class="p7">“The Professor said she needed a few more days,” Sylvain said casually, too busy staring up at the ceiling to notice the little mage’s deadly look. “Felix told me she’s been sneaking into the training grounds at night, so she’s probably too tired to teach right now anyway.”</p><p class="p7">“Uugh! Are you kidding me?!” Lysithea snapped, slamming her book shut.</p><p class="p7">Linhardt jumped at the noise, sitting up straight in a daze. Claude quickly checked for any supervising monks. Seeing none, he lightly swatted the younger girl’s head with his notes.</p><p class="p7">“Has anybody ever told you before that you’re supposed to be quiet in a library?” he asked, somewhat reprimanding but mostly teasing.</p><p class="p7">She smacked his hand away and ignored his comment. “She’s such a hypocrite! The Professor tells me all the time to not stay up too late here, but she’s allowed to avoid sleep for sword training? How frustrating!”</p><p class="p7">“You make a good point,” Linhardt yawned, rubbing his eyes. “Though, it’s beyond me why either of you would pass up sleep in the first place. Napping certainly helps chase away my negative emotions. It’s very beneficial.”</p><p class="p7">“Naps are for toddlers! Some people don’t have time to waste like that,” Lysithea spat out. She turned to Claude, her eyes glossing over his papers. “I hope you’re at least making some progress.”</p><p class="p7">The archer twirled his feathered pen between his fingers, forcing a smile onto his face. “I’m afraid my work has only just begun. So far, I’ve gathered only route movements and a rumor.”</p><p class="p7">“Uhhhhh,” Sylvain swung his legs back under the table and pointed over the House Leader’s shoulder. “You might want to keep it down in the library. For real guys.”</p><p class="p7">Glancing backward, Claude nearly jumped from his skin at the looming, shadowy sight of Hubert in the library’s doorway. On being noticed, the man smiled crookedly.</p><p class="p7">“Oh, no need to be quiet for me.” He said, beginning to approach.</p><p class="p7">Claude felt Sylvain’s foot urgently kick at his under the table. Swiftly, he tucked his loose papers into his notebook, closing it gently as to not seem hurried. Keeping on a smile, he leaned his arm over the back of his chair to better face the dark mage. Lysithea squirmed beside him. Linhardt leaned down to bury his face back into his book.</p><p class="p7">“Not going to lie, Hubert,” Claude said, “It’s kind of weird to see you here. No Edelgard today? Usually, you’re haunting her, not the library.”</p><p class="p7">Hubert’s eyes lingered over the closed notebook for a moment before coming back up to pierce into his. He smiled again in a way that Claude could only coin as nefarious.</p><p class="p7">“I’m simply here to deliver a message from Lady Edelgard. She would like to speak with you in the gazebo over some tea.”</p><p class="p7">“And that would be… right now?”</p><p class="p7">“Right now, yes.”</p><p class="p7">Claude sighed dramatically, standing from his chair and pushing it in noisily. “Ahhh, how short notice. And I had so many other plans for today. But, when the princess calls–!”</p><p class="p7">He slid his notebook to Lysithea, who grabbed it almost instantly. “I can trust you to watch over my homework, right?”</p><p class="p7">She nodded, “Of course. I’ll mark whatever you got wrong in here too.”</p><p class="p7">“Of course you will,” he winked back.</p><p class="p7">He threw on his cloak and turned to leave, waving dismissively at Hubert as he passed him. “No need to escort me. I do think I know my way by now.”</p><p class="p7">As he made it out of the room and down the halls and stairway, he couldn’t help but feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He knew Hubert had followed him anyway, keeping a far-away enough distance that made Claude feel like he was being hunted.</p><p class="p7">It was almost a relief, as he made it outside, to see that Edelgard <em>was</em> actually waiting for him in the gazebo and that this wasn’t some elaborate set-up for a trap. But as the air blew around him and the frost kissed his cheeks, his relief was quickly replaced by annoyance.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>At least the tea is hot and ready.</em>
</p><p class="p7">Claude broke Edelgard out of her deep musings by pulling out his chair and letting it scrape against the floor. He sat down unceremoniously and put on a practiced smile.</p><p class="p7">“You know, it would be smarter to have this little meeting in the mess hall instead of outside in the cold.”</p><p class="p7">His teasing remark fell flatter than usual. She frowned and passed him a cup of what looked like black tea. Befittingly bitter.</p><p class="p7">“I hope you’ll bear with me and drink this to warm yourself. I wanted to have this discussion somewhat privately, and as you can see, there isn’t anybody out here but us.”</p><p class="p7">“And Hubert,” Claude remarked, letting the porcelain warm his hands. “Wherever he’s lurking.”</p><p class="p7">Annoyance flit across her features before quickly falling away. “I won’t deny that. But… that’s simply because he is my trusted friend. Don’t let it bother you.”</p><p class="p7">“Hmmm. Usually, I don’t need my trusted friends to watch me from behind a bush, but to each their own.” He eyed his drink, intent on not taking a single sip.</p><p class="p7">Even as her eye twitched, Edelgard didn’t bite back. Instead, she fixed her posture and waited for him to speak again, clearly waiting for a less hostile approach.</p><p class="p7">“So,” he relented, “it’s been a while since we’ve chatted over tea. I believe the last time we did was at the beginning of the year with Dimitri. No prince this time? Just the Empire and the Alliance?”</p><p class="p7">Edelgard took a long sip from her cup, eying him over the rim before delicately placing it back down on its saucer.</p><p class="p7">“This meeting wasn’t intended to be about politics. I’ll cut to the chase since it’s clear you’re unhappy about being outside. I want to know what the Professor plans on doing about the mages that killed her father.”</p><p class="p7">Claude placed his own cup down and traced the rim with his finger. “Is that right?”</p><p class="p7">From the way Hubert had eyed his notes, it seemed they already knew he was collecting information on the whereabouts of Solon and Monica. Plus, among his classmates, it wasn’t as though it was some big secret that he was spying. It wouldn’t have surprised him if one of them had slipped and let Edelgard know. That would explain why she was singling him out for that intel. The only question left was…</p><p class="p7">“Why do you want to know? It’s got nothing to do with you.”</p><p class="p7">Edelgard sighed and leaned back in her chair, folding her hands neatly together on the table. He was expecting to see anger or irritation. Instead, she looked oddly sad.</p><p class="p7">“That’s true enough, I suppose. In terms of which students she’s closest to, Hubert and I are probably the furthest on that list. And you are obviously her number one.”</p><p class="p7">He ignored the way his heart jumped at her observation and waited as she poured more tea into her cup, her posture stiff and her jaw clenched tight.</p><p class="p7">“The reason I’m curious is simply that… I know it seemed before that I was close to Monica. In truth, I’m thinking about my own self-image. I don’t want the Professor to think that I saw this coming. I didn’t. And if I had, I would have stopped her without hesitation. If she’s seeking vengeance, I’d like her to know that I support it, and will help her if she wishes.”</p><p class="p7">She took another long sip before setting the cup back down, the bottom clanging harshly against the saucer this time.</p><p class="p7">Claude leaned on the table and folded his hands under his chin, regarding her carefully.</p><p class="p7">It was true she had seemed close to Monica. But anybody sharp enough could see it was in a way that was uncomfortable for the princess.</p><p class="p7"><em>“She doesn’t even like her,”</em> he could remember Hilda saying one afternoon in class. <em>“I don’t know why she tolerates it.”</em></p><p class="p7">If he asked that to her now, would she give an answer?</p><p class="p7">In many ways, Edelgard was like Byleth. Prideful, smart, strong, and competitive. But unlike Edelgard, Byleth was also open and welcoming. When he asked her questions, she always answered clearly and concisely, even if her responses were sometimes ‘I don’t know,’ or ‘I don’t remember.’ Aggravatingly, it seemed her mysteries boggled her as much as they did him. But it made him hopeful that she never seemed to think lesser of him when he dug around for secrets. Her mysteries could and would be revealed in time, so long as he kept trying.</p><p class="p7">But if his Teach’s mysteries were like a scalable wall, then Edelgard’s were like an impenetrable fortress. She kept everyone at an arm’s length. She was <em>too</em> secretive. Too cold.</p><p class="p7">Too much like himself. It was a fact that put him on edge.</p><p class="p7">“I’d love to trust you, but unfortunately that’s a hard thing to do,” he said, glancing towards a corner that Hubert could possibly be hunched behind. “How are we supposed to know that you couldn’t have seen Monica’s true colors? You’re hardly the dull type. Surely something must have seemed off to you when she was clinging to your arm for the better part of the past few moons.”</p><p class="p7">Edelgard furrowed her brows and met his eyes evenly. “It’s true she seemed strangely off. She acted dissimilar to how she was last year. At the time, many speculated she was acting more cheerful in order to cope with being kidnapped. Honestly? I thought the same. I didn’t want to push her away from me, since I believed she was trying to make herself feel better. Now obviously, I can see that I was wrong to believe so.”</p><p class="p7">She frowned deeper, peering at his untouched cup. “Would you think, just because somebody was acting a bit unlike themselves, that they would turn out to be some murderous imposter? Even if I <em>had</em> seen her betrayal coming, do you think anyone would have believed me if I accused her?”</p><p class="p7">Claude let the silence sit for a moment, thinking over her question before answering honestly.</p><p class="p7">“No.”</p><p class="p7">He was sure that even if Edelgard had known Monica was a spy, it would have been nearly impossible to prove that. After all, she was just acting strangely; that was hardly proof that somebody was evil. But…</p><p class="p7">“That, however, doesn’t rule out the possibility that you were complicit.”</p><p class="p7">At that, her lavender eyes flashed with fury.</p><p class="p7">“Don’t be a fool,” she bit out. “Do you honestly believe I would ever do anything to earn the Professor’s bad will? And what would I gain from her father’s death? <em>Nothing.</em>”</p><p class="p7">Claude sat back and assessed her once more. She was angry, obviously by his prodding. If she had been lying at any point, she had given away no tells. Her shoulders were tense, but he was guessing that was because this was a tender topic, and not because she was attempting to hide something.</p><p class="p7">Perhaps he was reading her wrong, but it seemed Edelgard was being honest. There was nothing to gain by blaming her. He could sit with her all day to try to squeeze out her <em>actual</em> dirty secrets, but whatever was going on in her world seemed far less important than what was currently happening in Byleth’s.</p><p class="p7">Heaving out a sigh, he decided to be direct with the girl for once so he could end the conversation. He had more work to do today.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>And it’s cold outside, dammit.</em>
</p><p class="p7">“You know, I get why you’re looking out for yourself. We’re similar in that sense,” he said, pushing his tea towards the center of the table. “I believe you. I don’t think you foresaw Monica killing a man in cold blood. Teach would never blame you either.”</p><p class="p7">He watched the tension leave her body. She gave a brief, grateful look.</p><p class="p7">“That’s a relief to hear.”</p><p class="p7">“Satisfied?” he asked. “If so, I’m going to head back inside to where it’s warm.”</p><p class="p7">“Now wait a moment!” Edelgard slapped the table, her irritation returning. “You haven’t said what she plans on doing. Will she be pursuing them?”</p><p class="p7">Claude shook his head and stood. “That’s Teach’s business, and she’ll share that business with who she wants to. You made a mistake by asking me. You’re right about us being close. You should also know that I’m not going to go around and tell other people her plans just because they feel pity towards her.”</p><p class="p7">It was hard to miss the disappointment on Edelgard’s face, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. She fixed her posture again, staring straight past him, the fortress returning.</p><p class="p7">“I understand. Then I suppose we’re done here.”</p><p class="p7">“Enjoy your tea.”</p><p class="p7">Claude went back inside, ignoring a louring Hubert who lingered around the doorway.</p><p class="p7">Maybe one day, he could stand with Edelgard on equal grounds, where they didn’t have to evaluate each other behind ten layers of distrust.</p><p class="p7">But that day wasn’t today.</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p7">No new information about the search was gathered after his talk with Edelgard. All that was new were Lysithea’s notes written in the margins of his own papers. He read them in his bed as he sprawled out comfortably.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>‘Not important.’ ‘Untrustworthy source.’ ‘Really, you should be in trouble for knowing all these creepy, spying spots!’</em>
</p><p class="p7">Claude smirked at another note underlined three times that berated him for not being careful enough before closing his notebook with a sigh.</p><p class="p7">It wasn’t much, but it was at least enough to update Byleth with.</p><p class="p7">He sat up and looked out the window to spy at the arch of the sun. It was close to dinner time, but not quite there yet. Students and staff alike would no doubt be mingling in the common rooms and halls, waiting for mealtime. He knew Byleth was out of her room today, having spotted her a few times while he had been running around the faculty building.</p><p class="p7">“Where are you now, Teach?”</p><p class="p7">Swinging his legs to the floor, he grabbed his key and left his notes, already having memorized what he had to say to her.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>You’re not in your room. But I doubt you’d want to be around people yet. If you’ve been monopolizing the training grounds at night, then you’re probably not there now.</em>
</p><p class="p7">Claude made it down the stairs and outside. The crisp air hit his face and he huffed, having forgotten his cloak for once.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>I think I know where you’d be.</em>
</p><p class="p7">Cutting across the wide pathway and the alleys, he reached the inside of the faculty building quickly enough. He climbed the staircase for the tenth time that day and strode quickly past Rhea’s large chamber and down the hall to the Captain of the Knight’s office.</p><p class="p7">As he suspected, the door was ajar, and Byleth stood inside. Her face was buried in an old, leather-bound journal. She noticed him before he even stepped inside, and closed the book to face him.</p><p class="p7">She looked tired, and her eyes seemed a bit wet. But she stood tall nevertheless, a familiar strength back into her gaze. Better than before. He was glad she was moving around at least.</p><p class="p7">“I thought I might find you here, Teach,” Claude greeted, stepping in and closing the door behind him. “Not the type to wallow in solitude, eh? That's a relief, let me tell you. So…”</p><p class="p7">His natural curiosity got the best of him, and he peered at the journal clutched in her hands. Why was she in here? She still looked upset, but that was to be expected. With how focused she had looked reading, it seemed like she wasn’t just standing in here to grieve.</p><p class="p7">She had expressed before that her father had left many things left unsaid. Was she… investigating Jeralt’s things?</p><p class="p7">“What were you reading?” he asked in a tone he hoped sounded gentle. “Is that Jeralt’s…”</p><p class="p7">“Diary,” she finished quietly. She shuffled on her feet and looked away, like a child who was caught misbehaving.</p><p class="p7">“So it is.”</p><p class="p7">Jeralt was a private man, who no doubt knew secrets about the Church, Rhea, and Byleth alike. He must have written down answers to the many mysteries that occupied the forefront of Claude’s mind. He could sneak in at night to read it. It would be easy; not the first time he would be breaking curfew to trespass where he didn’t belong.</p><p class="p7">But his discussion with Edelgard was fresh in his mind, and his promise with Byleth about their ambitions weighed heavily on his heart.</p><p class="p7">He could sneak in to read it, but that would feel wrong without Byleth <em>knowing</em>. This wasn’t just a matter of seeking answers. This was also about a connection he had with her that nobody else did. He wanted her <em>trust</em>.</p><p class="p7">This was her business. If he asked, would she share that business with him?</p><p class="p7">“Hey,” he began, shoving down his nerves, “maybe this has some entries from when Jeralt left the Monastery.”</p><p class="p7">Byleth nodded and frowned, her fingers tracing the intricate pattern on the journal’s worn spine.</p><p class="p7">She must have already read those entries.</p><p class="p7">Claude’s heart hammered in his chest.</p><p class="p7">“Is that so… He was the Captain of the Knights, but something made him leave the Monastery in a hurry. If it has something to do with your birth, knowing what happened may get us closer to knowing what secrets the Church is hiding…”</p><p class="p7">About Byleth. About Rhea’s obsession with her. About why Solon had an agenda against the Church. About crests and relics and more.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>Trust me. Trust me. Please.</em>
</p><p class="p7">“Teach… Would you mind letting me read that diary?”</p><p class="p7">Her head snapped up to look at him. Suddenly, her posture was guarded, her arms now circling the journal to hold it close to her chest. Her expression was purposefully blank.</p><p class="p7">The reaction stung. He knew it would. But he had to press. He to <em>know</em>.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>Don’t you trust me?</em>
</p><p class="p7">“I know how important it is to you, but I'm not asking lightly,” he added, hoping to remind her that he was on her side. “Please, allow me to borrow it.”</p><p class="p7">She stared him down and he stared back. He wore no mask. Offered no lies. Presenting himself and his intentions raw.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>Please. Let me into your world.</em>
</p><p class="p7">Byleth’s stoic mask slipped into something painfully vulnerable. Her guarded stance slowly dissolved away the longer she bore her eyes into his. Finally, she sighed heavily, and all the coiled tension she held unraveled.</p><p class="p7">“You may <em>borrow</em> it.”</p><p class="p7">His heart sang with relief.</p><p class="p7">She offered the diary carefully to him with both hands. With the same amount of care, he took it and tucked it securely under his arm.</p><p class="p7">“I'm forever in your debt, Teach,” he thanked gratefully, giving a respectful bow.</p><p class="p7">He looked up to meet her tired eyes once again. Certainly, she wasn’t pleased. But she was choosing to trust him regardless.</p><p class="p7">Maybe it would hurt again, but Claude decided to ride his high of being honest with her. He didn’t want to lie or hide anything. Not after she just trusted him with a goldmine of information.</p><p class="p7">“If you'd refused, I would've had to sneak in here in the dead of night,” he admitted. “I wasn't looking forward to that prospect.”</p><p class="p7">She said nothing. Instead, her expression twisted into something akin to disappointment as she looked at her boots. It stung again, but it was a reaction he knew he deserved.</p><p class="p7">He was both a private person and, ironically, a person who dug around in other people’s business. For many, that made him too distrust-worthy to be close to. But it wasn’t as though he was digging up blackmail for the fun of it. Rather, it was always something he had done to protect himself in case anybody found out his own secrets. If anybody found out who he was, it would cost him his dream, and maybe his life.</p><p class="p7">It was different with Byleth. At this point, he knew she would never treat him any differently if she found out. That was exactly why he could call her his friend. That was also why he would use his skills as a schemer to help her achieve her own goals.</p><p class="p7">
  <em>And I’m here to do just that.</em>
</p><p class="p7">“Anyway,” he broke the awkward silence, “let me fill you in on what's been going on lately, and not just as thanks for pointing me to that diary.”</p><p class="p7">Her eyes dragged back towards his. She hummed a quick affirmation, waiting for him to continue.</p><p class="p7">“Rhea dispatched the knights to various locations in a frantic search for the enemy. There's a rumor that she's already secured some information. Something big is gonna happen soon.”</p><p class="p7">‘Soon’ was quicker than what he would have preferred. Byleth wasn’t completely done recovering yet. However, it was a good sign that she was out of her room and investigating. Had she thought over what she would do next?</p><p class="p7">“That has me wondering… If you find out where the enemy is, what will you do about it?”</p><p class="p7">Lorenz’s words came to mind. <em>‘Justice.’ </em>That’s what he had said he would help their professor find. Even if that meant breaking some rules.</p><p class="p7">“If you ask,” Claude continued, conviction flowing, “I… No, scratch that. <em>All</em> of us students would gladly lend a hand. Even if it means going against Rhea's wishes. Don't forget it.”</p><p class="p7">Finally, some semblance of happiness graced her features. She raised her head fully, smiling ever so slightly. “I won’t.”</p><p class="p7">That good mood, as small as it was, was enough to make Claude smile widely back. She was getting back on her feet. Weirdly, he wanted Lorenz to see that.</p><p class="p7">“Now go. Everyone's worried about you. You'd better show them you're in good spirits.”</p><p class="p7">“Alright.” She moved passed him, but hesitated at the doorway, her hand pausing on the doorknob. “Claude…”</p><p class="p7">“Yeah Teach?”</p><p class="p7">She glanced over her shoulder to look at the journal under his arm.</p><p class="p7">“I trust you.”</p><p class="p7">The words spoken out loud stunned him, his heart jumping into his throat. His mouth gaped open to respond, but no words came out. Byleth wasn’t waiting for a response anyway, already opening the door and walking away.</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p7">
  <em>She trusts me.</em>
</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p7">With revitalized spirit, he exited the office and closed the door behind him, trekking back to his room. He had some reading to do.</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p7">
  <em>You can count on me, Teach.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, hello there! Thanks for reading!</p><p>I actually finished this chapter today. Hopefully, I'm able to stay on schedule, even though I haven't drafted any of the next chapter yet. I was given a 'promotion' of sorts at work. More hours equals more money, but unfortunately, more hours doesn't equal more creativity time.</p><p>In this chapter, trust is tested! With both Edelgard and Byleth. Apologies to any Hubert lovers out there. (Dude creeps me out, so I kinda wrote him to be unsettling.) I know I also wrote Seteth to be a bit of a stickler/asshole, but mayhaps redemption for that moment may be coming in the future 👀 ? (Kronk voice: Oh yeah... it's all coming together.) Also, I like to imagine that Claude, Lysithea, Linhardt, and Sylvain are an unconventional study group who frequent the library together regularly. </p><p>The title of this chapter is lyrics from the song Geyser by Mitski. Looking it up, the song is actually ambiguously about her relationship with her music career. However, it's vague enough to be interpreted more romantically. For this chapter, the lyrics fit with Claude's current stance on where he believes his relationship is at with Byleth. (You're my number one, you're the one I want!)</p><p>We've encroached into the Holiday season. I hope you're all doing good!</p><p>Stay safe &amp; stay well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hate and love, shove and hug...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Claude spends all night reading through Jeralt's diary, leaving him tired for the rest of the day. But even as he drifts in and out of sleep, a discussion with Byleth and a run-in with Cyril causes him to reach a few important realizations.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"><strong>Chapter 5</strong><br/><strong>Hate and love, shove and hug,<br/></strong> <strong>mate and fun, fate and luck.</strong></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 5 of the Garland Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Very sunny. I picked some flowers for her and returned home. The look of joy on her face at the sight of these flowers will be even more beautiful than the flowers themselves…</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 20 of the Horsebow Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">All is cloudy. I can't believe she's dead. Lady Rhea said she died during childbirth. But is that the truth? And still, the child she traded her life for doesn't make a sound. Didn't even cry at birth.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 25 of the Horsebow Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">It's raining. The baby doesn't laugh or cry. Not ever. Lady Rhea says not to worry, but a baby that doesn't cry… isn't natural. Had a doctor examine the child in secret. He said the pulse is normal, but there's no heartbeat.</p><p class="p3">No heartbeat!</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 2 of the Wyvern Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Sunny. I feel I must take the child and leave. But the church is always watching us… I don't know what Lady Rhea has planned. I used to think the world of Lady Rhea. Now I'm terrified of her.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 8 of the Wyvern Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">More rain. I used the fire that broke out last night to fake the child's death. Lady Rhea is in a state over the news. But I can't change what I've done. I've got to take the child and leave…</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 5 of the Guardian Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Too cloudy. It’s difficult caring for the child. Can’t tell when she needs anything. I wish there was some sort of instinct for this stuff, but if it exists, I don’t have it… Hoping to run into a doctor of a nearby village a couple days out. He might be able to find out what’s wrong with the kid.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 9 of the Guardian Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">It’s snowing. Same results as before. Had to pay a pretty amount of coin to get this doctor to shut up about it. Seems the kid is healthy otherwise. The scar on her chest doesn’t bother her. I should be relieved… Yet, the child still doesn’t emote.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 27 of the Guardian Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Sunny, some overcast. I gave the child a pinch to see if she would react. The little devil went to slap my hand away. I had to laugh! Still didn’t cry or anything, but that’s something, isn’t it?</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 4 of the Lone Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Cloudy. Managed to scrape together a good group of mercs. I need to start working again. It’s funny. A lot of them like to help out with my kid. Don’t want to leave her with anybody, so she’ll have to come along.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 7 of the Lone Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Sunny. Naming my child Byleth. One of the older Faerghus men raised an eyebrow at that. I know what it means. But with a name like that, the Church probably won’t want anything to do with her. She’ll be raised a fighter, if anything to protect herself.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 17 of the Garland Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Sunny but cold. Staying in a village in Rowe territory. Some of the local brats bullied Byleth today. Little shits. She came to me with bruises and a dirty face. She told me she broke one of their arms when defending herself. Probably would be wise to leave soon.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 12 of the Blue Sea Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Sunny. My kid is smart but she has a bad memory. Not with what she learns from me and books. She’s bad with people… Couldn’t remember the face or name of the merc who left us last week. Makes me worry.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 2 of the Verdant Rain Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Light rain. The kid brought me two fat fish today. I could tell she was proud of herself, even without a smile. Learning from the best after all. We split them for dinner. Taught her how to cook fish.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 10 of the Verdant Rain Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Almost ran into some Church knights in the village we were passing through. Thankfully, none of them noticed me. My kid was curious about them, but I told her they were just some regular knights with fancier shit.</p><p class="p3">Maybe I should tell her about the Church but… I don’t know.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 26 of the Verdant Rain Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Everything is foggy. Today was long and hard. Byleth cut down a bandit from a group who ambushed us. First kill on another person. She couldn’t get away without a deep cut to her leg. My kid didn’t cry, but I almost did. I can tell she was afraid…</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 20 of the Horsebow Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">It’s raining. I think my child is eleven today. She’s recovered from the cut well enough. Has killed two more men since then, but wasn’t as rattled about it. I hate that she needs to get used to this… I know it’ll never be easy.</p><p class="p3">Sitri would be heartbroken, but there’s no use thinking about that now.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 1 of the Wyvern Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Cloudy. Brought my child to a market as a late birthday present and told her to pick whatever she wanted. She brought back a big, gaudy, golden brooch! Didn’t realize she liked girly stuff like this.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 4 of the Lone Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Very windy. Leaving Byleth with a farming family for a while. Good people, away from any bandit activity, and away from the eyes of the Church. I told her it was so she could learn about both farming and how to be without her old man. I could tell she was nervous. Not as nervous as me…</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 28 of the Lone Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Grey skies. It’s lonelier without my kid around. Even without her here, my men are still gossiping about the ‘Ashen Demon.’ Gave Marcus a good slap to the back of the head for calling her that. Maybe it’s my fault for giving her that name.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 20 of the Harpstring Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Cloudy. Met a rowdy kid on the job. She’s a little spitfire. Hot-tempered, unlike Byleth. Taught the kid how to handle a lance. Now she’s saying she wants to be a merc! Reminds me of Alois.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 27 of the Garland Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Unbearably hot and sunny. We ended up staying longer than intended to drive away some more bandits… Taught Leonie more in the meantime. Seems she’s pretty serious about wanting to be a merc.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 9 of the Verdant Rain Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Foggy. Finally made our way back to where I left Byleth. She remembered me. Might be the happiest I’ve ever seen her. She smiled! Small, but it was there. With longer hair, she looks like her mother.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 21 of the Verdant Rain Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Lots of rain. My kid hasn’t lost her edge. If anything, farming made her more of a powerhouse. Makes me proud. However, that stupid nickname keeps floating around more. I can tell she hates it.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 20 of the Horsebow Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Nice and sunny. Picked Byleth some flowers today. She’s been really into the fauna since helping that old woman farm in her garden. The kid pressed them into her own journal. Makes my old heart ache…</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 18 of the Great Tree Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Sunny. Staying in Remire. Seems there’s been an increase in bandit activity in the area. We’ll probably stick around for a while to help out the village. Don’t want to stay too long though. Too close to Garreg Mach.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Day 24 of the Great Tree Moon.</span>
</p><p class="p3">Somewhat cloudy. We were found by Alois and the Church. Didn’t want to make a scene and run, since the noble brats we saved were on Byleth like flies.</p><p class="p3">Met Rhea again. Seems we couldn’t avoid her forever.</p><p class="p3">I still don’t trust her. She knows now that Byleth didn’t die. Thankfully, she didn’t say that much. But, we can’t hope to run from them now. Rhea’s putting my kid to work as a teacher, and putting me back in charge of the Knights.</p><p class="p3">I’m uneasy about all of this, but… we’ll see how things shake out.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">Early morning sunlight leaked through the dormitory’s windows, piercing perfectly through the gaps in the curtains to hit Claude straight in his eyes. It was an unwelcome reminder that he had stayed up all night to read through Jeralt’s dairy in dim candlelight. His eyes were already dry and aggravated from the many times he had scrubbed at them while racing through the text.</p><p class="p3">With a yawn, he closed the diary and placed it down on his messy desk. He stood from his chair and stretched his arms high up over his head, his back cracking in a satisfyingly loud way. He could try to catch a small amount of sleep before facing the day, but he knew it would be no use.</p><p class="p3">Sleep would never come to him while his thoughts on the diary were still freshly raging in his mind.</p><p class="p3">He had skimmed through most of the journal, stopping on entries that mostly related to Byleth and mentions of the Church. Unfortunately, much like his daughter, Jeralt had the tendency to keep things brief. Any entries about the Church were just the older man lamenting about how he would need to avoid them. There were no long rants on the <em>whys</em> of what they had done to make Jeralt so wary of them.</p><p class="p3">Though, as curt as Jeralt’s sentiments about the Church were, they implied enough to validate Claude’s hunch that something was wrong about both Rhea and the establishment. And if there was one subject Jeralt was never brief about, it was his child.</p><p class="p3">Whatever Rhea had done on the 20th of the Horsebow Moon had left Byleth not just emotionally stunted but <em>without a heartbeat.</em></p><p class="p3">Her panic at him requesting to read the diary hit differently now. Was she worried that he would read that and think… differently of her? Certainly, it was strange; nigh impossible.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>But I don’t care about that. I don’t mind ‘different.’ You’ve always been…</em>
</p><p class="p3">She had always been honest with him. About her bad memory. About not knowing anything about the Church or its history. It was no wonder she couldn’t answer any of his questions about the Sword of the Creator. Jeralt had kept her deliberately ignorant about anything tied to the country’s holy history.</p><p class="p3">Also, why should he think less of her when she had always been so good to him? Him and all of her students. So what if she was missing an organ from her chest? Byleth was<em> alive.</em> She was able to teach with a careful but firm hand. She treated everyone equally; kindly and honestly. She forged bonds and made friends. She corrected right from wrong. She stood up against bandits and thugs and inspired others to follow suit.</p><p class="p3">Claude knew her as she was – somebody just like her father – a good person, who at the end of each day did honest work.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Still though…</em>
</p><p class="p3">Something wasn’t adding up. While Claude had enlightening answers about Byleth…</p><p class="p3">
  <em>It seems whatever had been causing her bad memory with people went away by the time she started teaching. But, why? What changed?</em>
</p><p class="p3">His quest for answers was far from over.</p><p class="p3">Cracking his neck, Claude looked down at his state of dress, realizing unhappily that he had never even taken his boots off from yesterday.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>First stop, the sauna.</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">The beginning of the day felt like a slog. Even after washing up and changing into a fresher uniform, the drowsiness from a sleepless night was weighing down on Claude’s shoulders like a wet blanket. He would have passed out head-first into his oatmeal if Hilda hadn’t been there to smack him awake before he could.</p><p class="p3">Just as he began to accept that it was going to be a shitty day, he felt a surge of joy flow through him once he entered the Golden Deer classroom and spotted Byleth sitting behind her desk. She was speaking quietly to a dreary looking Marianne, who was nodding silently along to their Professor’s words.</p><p class="p3">At the sight of her, he felt for the diary, which he had slid into his largest pocket before leaving his room.</p><p class="p3">Hilda, who had been busy teasing him about his tired state all the way from breakfast, immediately skipped towards the other two girls.</p><p class="p3">“Professor!” she called, nearly skidding to a halt while slapping her hands down harshly against the wooden table. Marianne jumped along with the paperwork and quills on Byleth’s desk. “People are saying horrible things about Marianne! They're saying she's friends with the bad guys. If I hear someone say that, I’ll–”</p><p class="p3">“Leave it alone, Hilda,” Marianne cut her off curtly. “It doesn't matter.”</p><p class="p3">“But–“</p><p class="p3">“Just ignore it,” Byelth added with a tone of finality, fixing her stack of notes that had been jostled.</p><p class="p3">“But–!”</p><p class="p3">“Of course. Thank you, Professor.”</p><p class="p3">“No way!” Hilda huffed. “We can’t just let them say whatever they want! That’s so not fair!”</p><p class="p3">Claude willed himself to snap out of his sleepy reverie and dragged his feet to the front, laying a hand on the steaming girl’s shoulder.</p><p class="p3">“Relax, Hilda. They’ll be proved wrong anyway once we find those ‘bad guys’ and defeat them. Right, Teach?”</p><p class="p3">He glanced her way and offered a smile, hoping to be met with a small, reassuring one of her own.</p><p class="p3">Instead, she didn’t even glance up from her notes when she answered, “Yes. But we shouldn’t let senseless gossip get to us either. So don’t even pay them any mind Marianne. They’re not worth the energy.”</p><p class="p3">Later diary entries of Jeralt’s popped in his head. Complaints about the way his men whispered about the ‘Ashen Demon’ when they thought Byleth wasn’t listening.</p><p class="p3">He couldn’t help but think she was speaking from experience.</p><p class="p3">Marianne nodded once again and gently reached out to take hold of Hilda’s wrist. “Come on, Hilda. Let’s sit down.”</p><p class="p3">Hilda relented with a pout, and let Marianne guide her towards a bench near the middle of the room. Their other classmates began to filter through the open doors, speaking quietly amongst themselves while taking their seats and slipping off their winter cloaks. Many shouted a happy greeting towards Byleth as they noticed her.</p><p class="p3">Leonie was noticeably absent.</p><p class="p3">Even as it neared time for class to start, Claude lingered at the front desk, leaning from one leg to the other as his teacher continued to not look up at him, flipping through the paperwork Hannemon had left her.</p><p class="p3">He swallowed down a lump forming in his throat.</p><p class="p3">“Are you angry with me?” he asked softly, for only her ears to hear. “I would understand if you are. Really, I would.”</p><p class="p3">She let out a long breath through her nose, finally raising her head up enough to peer at him from under her bangs.</p><p class="p3">She looked… better. Even if she was mad at him, he couldn’t help but feel relieved that she wasn’t being weighed down by grief.</p><p class="p3">“I’m not angry with you, Claude,” she answered just as discretely.</p><p class="p3">Her words immediately settled his frenzied nerves. <em>Thank the stars for that.</em></p><p class="p3">“I’m just…” Her hand came up and hovered a moment over her chest – over where her heart <em>should</em> be – before just as quickly falling back down into her lap. “I don’t know how I feel right now. Let’s talk later, okay?”</p><p class="p3">Claude bit his lip and stayed a moment longer. He didn’t doubt she meant that literally – not knowing what to name the emotion she was currently wrestling with. It made him want to hash things out with her <em>now </em>so that he could help her sort her feelings. Yet, there was a time and a place for such a personal conversation and now was definitely not that time.</p><p class="p3">“Alright, Teach. Whenever you want today. I’ll be hanging around.”</p><p class="p3">She simply hummed in response, returning to her notes.</p><p class="p3">Claude went to his seat up front, and upon sitting down, immediately laid his head down into his arms. Lysithea tsked at him from the adjacent bench across the hall.</p><p class="p3">Sylvain laughed beside him, “Good morning, Linhardt!”</p><p class="p3">It was the last thing Claude heard before falling asleep.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">When he awoke, it was to an emptied classroom, with only some students lingering to chat about homework and idle gossip. The twin fires crackling in the room could be heard clearly, and the warmth they provided made the atmosphere cozy, to the point Claude just wanted to lay his head back down. But knowing he’d only be wasting daylight, he sat up instead and stretched, grimacing at the ache still present in his back.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Maybe napping in the same position you were in all night wasn’t a smart move.</em>
</p><p class="p3">With a sigh he got up, only to notice a small stack of notes that definitely didn’t belong to him placed at his spot on the table. Scrawled on the top of the first page was Lorenz’s swooping signature, along with a short paragraph on classroom propriety and why sleeping in class was a disgraceful affront to the sanctity of learning.</p><p class="p3">With a roll of his eyes, Claude snatched up the papers and trudged outside into the cold, walking straight until he reached the other side of the courtyard. Behind the evergreen bushes that lined the walkways, he leaned up against the faculty building and began to shuffle through the eloquently written notes from his classmate.</p><p class="p3">Even after his power nap, and being out in the winter chill, he still found his eyes dropping closed, unable to completely absorb the words on the pages. If he were to read right now, he would have preferred to still be leafing through the journal sitting like a stone in his pocket. After all, he had only skimmed through it last night. He could of very well missed some important clue about the Church, what they were hiding, and what they had done to…</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em>…Byleth…</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">“Claude?”</p><p class="p3">The young man startled back into consciousness, his eyes flying open to immediately see the very woman on his mind standing in front of him, a slight look of concern on her face.</p><p class="p3">“Hi, Teach,” he greeted simply, hoping she didn’t notice that he had nearly fallen asleep again.</p><p class="p3">“Hello. I figured the nap you took during my class would’ve been enough to recharge you.”</p><p class="p3">“Ugh, right. That was pretty rude of me, wasn’t it? To sleep through your lecture.” <em>Your first one since his death, too. </em>“Sorry ‘bout that.”</p><p class="p3">She shook her head and shuffled a bit on her feet. “It’s okay, so long as it doesn’t affect your grades. I know you’ve been busy. Um, also, I found this. Is it yours?”</p><p class="p3">She held out her fist, clutching something small. Curiously, Claude held out his own hand and let her drop the little object into his open palm.</p><p class="p3">“Oh! My knight!” Sat in his hand was an elaborately carved black horse head, a unit from the ornate chessboard given to him by his grandfather. “I thought I’d lost this little guy for good. I don’t know how you manage to find these sorts of things, Teach. Thank you.”</p><p class="p3">Warmth bloomed in his chest when a ghost of a smile managed to reach her features. “I’m glad I was right that it belonged to you.”</p><p class="p3">“Ha! Who else do you know who might carry around this sort of junk?”</p><p class="p3">Byelth hummed, her eyes now skirting away. Her posture went rigid, and her hands fisted by her sides.</p><p class="p3">Despite his exhaustion, it was hard for Claude not to hyper-fixate on all her subtle mannerisms. Since the beginning of this conversation, she had been awkward.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Nervous. Why are you nervous?</em>
</p><p class="p3">“I’m… ready to talk, Claude. That is if you’re up for it.”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Ah.</em>
</p><p class="p3">“Of course, Teach. I said anytime today, right?” He wet his lips and leaned back against the wall, stuffing the knight deep into his pocket, close to the journal.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Where to start?</em>
</p><p class="p3">“I see the storm in your eyes has passed…” he commented. At that, she looked up, meeting his gaze properly. “You're looking much better.”</p><p class="p3">“I’ve had support,” she nodded, “from all of you. That’s helped me a lot, I think.”</p><p class="p3">“No need to second guess that. Having people you can lean on, well, that’s a wonderful gift this world can give us. I’m glad you’ve found that here, Teach.”</p><p class="p3">“As am I.” Her eyes brightened just a bit. Like before in the classroom, her hand raised subconsciously up towards her chest, only to drop once she realized what she was involuntarily doing. “How about you?” She avoided his gaze once again. “Have you been…?”</p><p class="p3">“I've been reading Jeralt's diary,” he answered candidly. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the book. Her eyes went wide at the sight of it.</p><p class="p3">Byleth had granted him permission to read this book. Claude knew if he had hidden his intentions, it would’ve inevitably blown up in his face.</p><p class="p3">Instead, he had taken the gamble of asking her first, and in return, she had gifted him her trust. Now that he had it, he didn’t plan on stopping being open with her. Continuing to be honest the way she had always been with him.</p><p class="p3">“The baby he mentions…” he leaned forward, urging her to look back into his eyes. She did, with a tepid frown. “That’s you, isn't it? I can't understand about half of what's written on here… But, Jeralt really cherished you. That much is clear.”</p><p class="p3">The leather felt warm in his hands as he offered the diary out to her. For a moment, she blinked in confusion at the book between them, before slowly taking it into her arms.</p><p class="p3">“You’re giving it back already? I thought you might have questions?”</p><p class="p3">“Oh, I do,” he sighed, once again leaning back on the wall, watching his hot breath dissipate in the air. “But, those can wait, can’t they? For when you’re actually ready to hear them. Don’t worry. I’m good at keeping secrets.” He pulled his knight back out from his pocket to twist it between his fingers. “Besides, you can’t always be the one returning things, Teach.”</p><p class="p3">A beautifully bright smile broke out on her face, the widest Claude had seen since the ball. He felt his heart thump happily, which quickly made him question what Byleth felt when joy struck her like this. Her heart couldn’t hammer like his. Did she feel warm? Did her pulse race?</p><p class="p3">He almost reached out to feel the pulse point on her neck, but condemned himself and forced his hand down before he could.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Time and place, Khalid.</em>
</p><p class="p3">“Thank you, Claude.” Her fingers traced the cover for a moment. It was comfortably quiet before she spoke again, “Let’s meet tonight.”</p><p class="p3">He felt himself blush. “What?”</p><p class="p3">“To go over your questions,” she answered, tilting her head curiously, as though that had been obvious. “By then, I believe I’ll be prepared to answer them. Oh, but you didn’t sleep well. So maybe not tonight–”</p><p class="p3">“No no! Tonight works best for me too! Uh, well, because I just planned on napping for the rest of today so– yeah…”</p><p class="p3">That wasn’t quite true. Honestly, he hadn’t walked into this day with much of a plan at all. But little white lies weren’t real lies. Those were okay in relationships, right?</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Relationships? What?!</em>
</p><p class="p3">“Are you sure?” Byleth asked with a small downturn to the edges of her pink lips.</p><p class="p3">Had they always looked so soft? <em>Wow</em>, she was standing close. Her small hand came up to graze his forehead.</p><p class="p3">“Maybe you’ve been outside for too long. You’re red.”</p><p class="p3">As always, her touch was strong but kind. He shivered at the feel of her pleasantly cool, callused skin. He hated the cold, but somehow her natural temperature didn’t bother him. But maybe that was just because he felt so hot at this moment.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>This is so unlike me to get flustered. How embarrassing.</em>
</p><p class="p3">He looked down to avoid her face but was met unhelpfully with the curves of her body. Full chest. Strong, long legs. She was wearing her own clothes today. He could see that soft strip of skin just above her shorts that exposed her belly button.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Does nobody but me dress for this weather?</em>
</p><p class="p3">He took a deep breath to compose himself, and carefully pushed her hand from his face.</p><p class="p3">“I’ll feel better after some day-sleep, Teach. I’ll, uh, see you later. Um, after dinner?”</p><p class="p3">She smiled again. Her deep blue eyes locked onto him, in a way that made him suddenly feel self-conscious. “Okay. That works for me. If I’m done before you, just come to my room.”</p><p class="p3">“Y-yeah. Alright.”</p><p class="p3">Quickly, he bid goodbye with a wave, and nearly jogged to the dorms.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>What the hell is wrong with me. Am I really that tired? It’s not like she hasn’t been that close to me before. Or that I haven’t noticed how…</em>
</p><p class="p3">How what? How attractive she was? It was a common talking point amongst the bolder students that she was easy on the eyes. A real diamond within the rough and tuff mercenary group she had come to the Monastery with. It was a circulating opinion even before she started flashing her little smiles to everyone.</p><p class="p3">But for Claude, it wasn’t just her looks. Appearance alone had never been enough to interest him. In his time as the future Duke, many attractive young ladies had tried to court him; some for the innocent reason of wanting to know him, but much more for the political power it would grant them by being at his side.</p><p class="p3">Yet for both types, Claude didn’t want that sort of attention. He didn’t want curious strangers prodding him about his darker skin, his childhood, or his mother. He didn’t want to be conjoined to a person who valued his status over who he truly was in character.</p><p class="p3">Maybe, he was too much like his mother, because whenever the prospect of a partner came to mind, he had always craved that partner to be somebody he could trust above all else. Somebody he would cross both physical and metaphorical borders for.</p><p class="p3">When he watched his parents, he was always struck by how close they were; in body, mind, and spirit. They could predict the other’s wants and feelings without exchanging a single word, or through the simplest gestures. When they fought, they made up and were always impossibly closer to each other after the fact. The King would defend his foreign Queen from cruel rumors with a fire and passion only paralleled to his mother’s, as she defended her husband’s decisions as a ruler and father with sharp wit and a sharp tongue.</p><p class="p3">It was a marriage of respect, strength, passion, and trust. Unbreakable.</p><p class="p3">However, in Claude’s grandiose dreams, love often didn’t factor in. While he admired his parent’s relationship, he had also been painted a target because of it.</p><p class="p3">He could never blame them for that; how could he?</p><p class="p3">But his views on trust and love had been bittered by the multiple attempts on his life by people who were supposed to be on his side. Siblings, cousins, uncles, playmates, palace staff… All because he wasn’t the full-blooded Almyran prince they wanted him to be.</p><p class="p3">“Hey, what’re you doing?”</p><p class="p3">Claude blinked, realizing that he had zoned out in front of the greenhouse. Looking to the side, he saw Cyril, gripping a broom and staring at him with mild annoyance.</p><p class="p3">“I’m sweeping, Claude. If you’re gonna meditate, you should do it inside.”</p><p class="p3">“Oh, sorry Cyril. I wasn’t – well, never mind.” He stepped out of the way, ready to retreat upstairs to clear his mind and pass out.</p><p class="p3">Before he could even take a few steps though, he felt the soft bristles of the broom swat at his legs.</p><p class="p3">“Wait a sec! Jeez, you’re real out of it today, huh? You dropped your papers.”</p><p class="p3">Claude turned to see the younger boy crouching on the ground, collecting the notes that Lorenz had dumped on him earlier. He had forgotten he even had them in his hands.</p><p class="p3">Quickly, Claude crouched down to help. “You don’t have to help little ol’ me, Cyril. But, thanks.”</p><p class="p3">Cyril shrugged in response, handing the House Leader his notes. “If I didn’t say somethin’, you would’ve wandered off without ‘em. You know Claude, it’s not like you to be so air-headed.”</p><p class="p3">“Yeah, you got me there.” He shuffled the papers together, pausing as he fully processed Cyril’s words. “Otherwise, you think I’m capable?”</p><p class="p3">“Uhhh,” Cyril stood, his brow furrowing, “capable of what?”</p><p class="p3">“General stuff. Being the leader of the Alliance and of the Deer.”</p><p class="p3">“How should I know? Yer no leader of mine. Rhea’s who I listen to.” The boy went back to sweeping before abruptly stopping to stare back down at Claude. “Why do ya care what I think?”</p><p class="p3">Claude stood as well, stretching his legs in the process and sighing as he thought over his answer.</p><p class="p3">He settled on a half-truth. “Well, you’re my friend, Cyril. I’m just curious.”</p><p class="p3">The younger boy frowned in thought and continued to sweep. “I mean, you’re kinda annoying with how nosy you can be.”</p><p class="p3">“Ouch. Noted.”</p><p class="p3">“But well, I’ve got no reason to dislike ya. It’s nice you think of me as a friend. Ya know, I really like going on missions and stuff with the class. And the Professor really admires you, too. She’s pretty smart when it comes to people. Though, I don’t get how.”</p><p class="p3">Claude bristled at the mention of Byleth, his swirling train of thought circling back to what had caused him to zone out in the first place.</p><p class="p3">Inadvertently, he blushed. “I see.”</p><p class="p3">“I still don’t get why yer asking me,” Cyril continued, unaware of Claude’s flustered state. “Shouldn’t you care more about what your friends in class think?” He huffed and shook his broom, having collected an impressive pile of dead leaves and dirt. He turned to walk back towards the shed near the greenhouse. “Why don’t you ask them?”</p><p class="p3">His other friends… that was right. He flipped the notes over in his hands, his eyes landing on Lorenz’s fancy signature. Nobody had made him share these notes.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>I’m not alone anymore, am I?</em>
</p><p class="p3">Maybe Garreg Mach wasn’t his home, but here, there wasn’t anybody who was looking to stab him in the back.</p><p class="p3">Not Lorenz, even as he actively crowed about how Claude wasn’t doing enough has the future Duke. Not Lysithea, who nagged him like a mother, and fell for his teasing like a younger sister. Not Hilda, the only person he knew who could analyze others as sharply has him, and only use that power to get out of chores. Not Ignatz, who’s curious mind was open to differences in culture, seeing beauty where other people couldn’t. Not Raphael, who embraced a simpler lifestyle to become the most helpful, reliable Knight he could be. Not Marianne, who feared her own burdens, but persevered anyway. Not Leonie, willing to discuss the controversial topics of belief and status.</p><p class="p3">Not Petra, not Sylvain, not Flayn, not Cyril, not Linhardt… none of them wished ill of him. All of them were his friends.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>And Byleth.</em>
</p><p class="p3">He had never known anyone so willing to adapt for the sake of others. When she had arrived, she had been a fish out of water; it seemed impossible for somebody so out-of-touch and emotionless as her to connect with students and be a teacher.</p><p class="p3">But she did. And she <em>excelled</em>, dedicating her time to being the best teacher she could be. Learning as much as she could about her students without pressing too hard. She studied on her own time so she could pass off that knowledge to them. She prioritized their safety and growth above all else.</p><p class="p3">Never stigmatizing. Always accepting. Always working her hardest.</p><p class="p3">And she had let him into her complicated life. Allowing him to cross an invisible boundary, trusting him enough not to trample on her secrets and throw them to the world.</p><p class="p3"><em>‘I trust you,' </em>she had told him.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>I trust you, too. More than anybody.</em>
</p><p class="p3">And maybe that was why she could get a rise out of him by simply standing so close. Because it was <em>Byleth</em>. She had won over his trust, faith, respect, and…</p><p class="p3">and…</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em>Oh no.</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">“Claude! Were you even listenin’ to me earlier?”</p><p class="p3">Jumping, Claude looked to the side. Cyril now stood with a bin to collect his pile, looking outright cross.</p><p class="p3">“Sorry Cyril,” he said, a hand coming up to rub the back of his hot neck. “I think I’m more tired than I realized.”</p><p class="p3">“Then go inside!”</p><p class="p3">Claude laughed and hopped out of the way of Cyril’s small kick, running to the dorms and retreating up the stairs, down the hall, and into his room.</p><p class="p3">He fell heavily onto his bed, sinking into the mattress and burying his face into his pillow. His realization overtaking him.</p><p class="p3">His heart raced for two. For himself, and for the woman who’s own heart couldn’t beat for itself.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em>...I’m in love with Teach.</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello all, thanks for reading!</p><p>Sorry for the late-ish update. It's a hectic time of year. At this point, I'm just updating once I finish the chapter. 😂</p><p>This chapter – welp! This chapter is all about Claude realizing how deep his feelings are for his friends, and specifically how much he cares about Byleth. And yes, it's my headcanon that he figures out his feelings before B+ support. If it's not obvious, I don't have an outline for this story per se; just kinda writing as I go along. I initially wasn't planning on the scene with Cyril, but I decided to toss him in last minute. I love his dynamic with Claude, in that he's just straightforward with all his thoughts while Claude is always speaking in subtext.</p><p>The title of this chapter is lyrics from the song Perfect Circle by Nujabes. It's a very down-to-earth song about how circular life can be – we'll experience good, then bad, then good again – there's always another day coming. I found it fitting since the beginning of this chapter focuses on Byelth growing up and facing new experiences. It's also a wink and nod to Claude's dialogue from this chapter when you're not on his route: "...even while you're standing still, the world keeps on moving."</p><p>Wishing you all Happy Holidays!</p><p>Stay safe &amp; stay well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. And I know you'll listen...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>Chapter 6</strong>
</p>
<p class="p1"><strong>And I know you'll listen,</strong><br/>
<strong>And I know it's different,<br/>
</strong> <strong>But it gives me peace our missing pieces could be siblings.</strong></p>
<p class="p3"> </p>
<p class="p4">It was with a rejuvenated step that Claude walked into the mess hall, throwing a friendly wave to Hilda as their eyes met almost magnetically across the room.</p>
<p class="p4">Now that he discovered his newfound feelings, she would be the first to notice his change in mood. It was unavoidable. Sharing the same brand of analytical minds, their natural draw to each other made it so changes in demeanor and emotion between them were as easy to spot as the changes in weather.</p>
<p class="p4">He was also confident, however – now that he got some proper sleep and had some time alone to come to grips with the new love he felt – that she wouldn’t be able to get a word out of him on what those feelings were. With proper rest came his usual sharp mind, as well as his skill to navigate the tricky social word of gossip and school-yard interrogation.</p>
<p class="p4">The old woman serving dinner gave him an extra dollop of potatoes on the side as a reward for the wide and friendly smile he served her.</p>
<p class="p4">“What a polite young man,” she complimented with a pinch to his cheek.</p>
<p class="p4">“Thank you, ma’am.”</p>
<p class="p4">She must have never heard the horror stories of him on dish duty. The fleeting thought made him think of Leonie, who had happily helped him salvage that fiasco.</p>
<p class="p4"><em>Leonie</em> – he wondered how she was doing. It was a worry he pocketed for later.</p>
<p class="p4">As he turned around to face the tables, without a second thought, he strode to the empty spot across his pink-haired compatriot and took a seat.</p>
<p class="p4">“Evening Hilda,” he greeted, hungrily digging into his stir-fry.</p>
<p class="p4">“Good evening. <em>Wow,</em> you’re hungry.” With a flick of the wrist, she tossed a cloth napkin across the table, landing it next to his plate. “You know, if you keep up an appetite like that, you’ll grow as big as Raphael.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Ha! Here’s hoping! Though, being as burly as him would do me no service in the stealth department. Guess I’ll need to pace myself.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Uh-huh,” she agreed dryly.</p>
<p class="p4">For a few long moments, they sat in companionable silence. Claude didn’t miss the way Hilda’s eyes flicked to the doors every other minute when her attention wasn’t on him or her nails. There was noticeably no food in front of her – she must have already eaten. She was waiting for someone. But he decided not to ask about it, since the quiet gave him enough time to scarf down his meal.</p>
<p class="p4">Sleeping through lunch had left him ravenous, and Byleth’s request to meet him after dinner made him want to move even faster. He had a dozen questions queued up in his head for her. Personal and private inquiries that he felt she was ready to divulge the answers to.</p>
<p class="p4">But with his current company, it was impossible to rehearse them in his mind. His focus was instead on looking as casual as he could while in the sights of a notorious rumormonger. One who he could tell was getting tired of the silence.</p>
<p class="p4">Twisting her hair with a finger, Hilda leaned forward on the table. Claude could feel her eyes surveying him, as though she was a hawk preparing to divebomb a rodent.</p>
<p class="p4">“You seem to be in an awfully good mood,” she commented cheerily once he was nearly done eating his sides. “Was your five-hour nap really that great?”</p>
<p class="p4">“Oh you bet,” he answered easily, dabbing the corner of his mouth with the napkin she gave him. “I can see why Linhardt fits them into his day-to-day. Very beneficial.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Mmhmm, except for when it cuts into your lunchtime. By the way, why were you so tired today in the first place? I know you’re a night owl, but even <em>you</em> don’t get exhausted enough to fall asleep in class.” She batted her eyes, her smile turning coy. “Were you up all night reading or something?”</p>
<p class="p4">He nearly choked on his potatoes. Hilda was sharp, but there was no way she could’ve heard about Jeralt’s diary. It was something he had hid; a secret shared only with Byleth.</p>
<p class="p4">“What makes you say that?”</p>
<p class="p4">She blinked, seeing right through him. Yet, her smile turned into a disappointed pout.</p>
<p class="p4">“Wait, <em>seriously?</em> The reason you kept passing out earlier was because you were <em>reading</em> all night?” Her hand fisted against her cheek as she slumped dejectedly. “I should have figured. You’re such a bookworm, Claude. I thought it was something more… I don’t know – sloothy than that.”</p>
<p class="p4">So she had thought he was up all night sneaking around the Monastery. That made sense. She knew he was currently spying on the Knights for information, after all.</p>
<p class="p4">He breathed out a silent, relieved sigh. One she thankfully didn’t notice as she glanced at the door over his shoulder. Still, it was only a matter of seconds until she asked him what that book was about. He had to change the subject, and fast.</p>
<p class="p4">His eye caught the gleam of his silverware in the warm lights of the mess hall, and his mind zeroed in on the perfect subject for distracting.</p>
<p class="p4">“Up all night studying. You know how it is,” he said, tossing his used napkin back at her. She made a disgusted face, at either his comment or the napkin. Or both. "Anyway, have you seen Leonie around? Do you think she’s holding up okay? I was awake long enough to see she wasn’t in class.”</p>
<p class="p4">Predictably, Hilda’s features softened. Because as much as she would vehemently deny it, she was sympathetic at heart.</p>
<p class="p4">“No… Actually, I was waiting here to see if she would show up for dinner. Maybe keep her some company. It’s hard not to be worried about her. I don’t need to worry about the Professor, since she’s so sturdy. Well, Leonie is <em>too.</em> Just not in the same kinda way, y’know?”</p>
<p class="p4">He nodded along to her words, gathering the last bits of his meal for a final spoonful. “Yeah, I know. She was close to Jeralt. He was her mentor, after all. But, she wasn’t raised by him. She didn’t grow up on the road like Teach did, learning death on the battlefield is a part of life.”</p>
<p class="p4">Hilda shook her head, “It’s not just that. I know loss is hard no matter where you come from. What I’m getting at is that Leonie, for as blunt and straightforward as she is, can be a bit <em>defensive.</em>”</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>‘Hot-tempered,’ is how Jeralt described her.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“I think it bothers her,” Hilda continued, “on how well the Professor is recovering. I think they need to talk to each other, but I know Leonie won’t want to. It’ll be like admitting defeat in some warped way. At least for her. Does that make sense?”</p>
<p class="p4">Claude finished his last bite and leaned back thoughtfully.</p>
<p class="p4">“I think I understand what you’re trying to say,” he said quietly, hoping no one was eavesdropping. “Leonie doesn’t like people being wasteful or ungrateful. She might think Teach is being ungrateful to Jeralt by not grieving some arbitrary, desired amount of time. Or, maybe Leonie thinks she’s wasting her <em>own</em> time still grieving, while Teach is moving on.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Right! You get it completely,” Hilda sang. He didn’t like the gleam that appeared in her eyes. “Hey, maybe <em>you</em> should go talk to her. She hasn’t come for dinner, so she’s probably still locked up in her room.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Um, no.” Claude began to collect his dirty dishes. “You’re right about Leonie needing to speak with Teach. But not with me. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly the kind of guy people flock to for a shoulder to cry on.”</p>
<p class="p4">There was nothing he could say to her that would be helpful anyway. Like Byleth, she had to be the one to reach out for support. His Teach had made the active choice to accept help, step out of her room, and start walking again.</p>
<p class="p4">She had made the choice to confide in him. To trust him with her secret about her heart, as well as her delicate and new emotions. And today, she was teaching again.</p>
<p class="p4">Leonie could get there. But prodding her forcefully to spill all her unpleasant and sad thoughts would be counterproductive.</p>
<p class="p4">“It’s like you said, Hilda. She’s defensive. You think she’d be happy with <em>me</em> marching up to her room and just saying, ‘hey, I’ve noticed you’re still sad, so cheer up, buddy’ and ‘let’s talk about it’?”</p>
<p class="p4">Hilda pouted once more, leaning into her arms crossed on the table. “…No. UUGH, you’re right! All of this just…” she punched the table halfheartedly, “sucks.”</p>
<p class="p4">It went to show how much Jeralt’s death had affected everyone when even students who hadn’t known the man well were upset about it. Knights were crying in corners of the Monastery when they thought nobody was looking. Even the town close by was somber and mournful due to the loss of the legendary fighter.</p>
<p class="p4">“I know.” Claude stood with his dishes, not wanting to linger on those thoughts. He was ready to hand his mess off to the nice old lady behind the counter and start moving on with his investigation. “Just give Leonie a little more time. She’ll be ready to get revenge right alongside Teach and the rest of us once that day finally comes.”</p>
<p class="p4">Hilda looked up from her arms, frowning, but with a hopeful glimmer in her eyes.</p>
<p class="p4">“Are you sure?”</p>
<p class="p4">“You can hold me on that.”</p>
<p class="p5"> </p>
<p class="p3"> </p>
<p class="p6">◊◊◊</p>
<p class="p7"> </p>
<p class="p7"> </p>
<p class="p4">Keeping his date, Claude hurried from the mess hall to Byleth’s room. It was a warmer day for winter; not warm enough for him to forgo his cloak, but still more pleasant than usual. The night sky was clear and the moon was full, glowing brightly among the stars. He’d take that as a good sign. Sure, there was no logical reason as to <em>why</em> it was a good sign. But he’d tell himself it was anyway.</p>
<p class="p4">Because he was nervous.</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Dammit all.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">He didn’t doubt he could put on a charming smile and play it cool, but he also didn’t doubt that Byleth would see right through those falsities. Plus, he didn’t even <em>want</em> to pretend around her. But even after all they went through together in the span of the last few moons – even after figuring out his feelings even – it was still hard to fight the urge to put up his walls when he felt anxious like this.</p>
<p class="p4">It didn’t help that when he reached her room, an obviously drunk Balthus was there, sitting with Byleth on the steps in front of her door. They had large, wooden tankards in their hands. The older man was shouting a story and waving his arms animatedly in the air, his beer sloshing out of his mug with every dramatic flourish.</p>
<p class="p4">And Byleth, being Byleth, was listening intently, staring at the man beside her. He could see that the pale skin of her cheeks were flushed red under the light of the moon. It reminded him of their moment shared in the Goddess Tower. The sight might have made his heart race – if it weren't for the fact she was blushing in the direction of Balthus.</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Please, just be flushed drunk. There’s nothing charming about this guy.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“And I told those suckers I’d shove their shitty axes right where the sun don’t shine! Those little whelps! They whimpered outta the bar with their tails tucked between their scrawny legs.” A pause for Balthus to guzzle his beer. “I swear, if those bad-mouthin’ assholes show their ugly faces in front of me again I’ll – hey, is that Claude?”</p>
<p class="p4">The House Leader inwardly grimaced, realizing he had been frozen in place only a few meters away, staring at the scene before him.</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>So much for my good sign. Time to play it cool after all.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">He put on a smile and approached, ignoring the feel of Byleth’s big blue eyes now focused on him.</p>
<p class="p4">“Hope I’m not interrupting what sounds like a riveting story. You were shouting so passionately that I was all but stunned in place from the drama of it all.”</p>
<p class="p4">“HA! You little smart-ass! Come sit down with us, pal!” Balthus scooted over on the step, opening up space in the middle for him.</p>
<p class="p4">Claude opened his mouth to decline the offer – well, the order – very much not wanting to be in the proximity of the guy who: one, had a huge crush on his married mother, and two, knew a tad too much about his heritage. Balthus was skirting dangerously on a sharp edge with Claude for all the little hints and tidbits he liked to drop about how knowledgable he was about Tiana ‘von Riegan’, and where she had disappeared to. Plus he was drunk; his chances of being annoyingly lose-lipped escalated greatly due to that fact.</p>
<p class="p4">So of course he wouldn’t risk it.</p>
<p class="p4">Until he glanced at Byleth. Her face (despite its redness) was as stoic as ever, but her eyes shone happily and were crinkled pleasantly in the corners. From the alcohol? Or maybe from Balthus’ story. Noting his apprehension, she patted her hand on the empty spot beside her, inviting him to sit. It was that simple little movement that sealed his fate.</p>
<p class="p4">Claude plopped himself down beside her. Purposefully closer than necessary so their shoulders were touching. He turned his attention completely in her direction, and deliberately ignored the man gulping from his tankard on his left.</p>
<p class="p4">“You’re as red as a lobster, Teach. Now don’t tell me that my professor is drunk.” He was glad his nerves didn’t affect the fluidity of his voice. To speak clearly under pressure was a skill he had thankfully mastered. (He ignored the fact that she had him tongue-tied earlier in the day. He was tired – that didn’t count.)</p>
<p class="p4">“Who, me?” She asked it so frankly, despite that little mischievous look in her gaze that he loved. “This isn’t beer. Perhaps you’re mistaking me for Manuela. The Church wouldn’t be able to tolerate two drunken professors on their grounds.” She offered her mug to him. “Would you like some?”</p>
<p class="p4">It was clearly half-full of a dark looking ale. The smell was heady from fermentation.</p>
<p class="p4">“Would you like to watch Seteth skin me alive?” he asked in retaliation, unable to fight the honest upward quirk at the corner of his mouth.</p>
<p class="p4">“Why would he do such a thing? This isn’t beer.” She leaned more of her weight against his shoulder, elbowing him lightly in a joking manner. “It’ll warm you up a bit.”</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>You’re warming me up already.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">Perhaps, on another night, he would have accepted. But the heavy-hearted questions he had mulled over for their meeting tonight spurred impatiently in the forefront of his mind. He didn’t want to chance messing this up.</p>
<p class="p4">“No thanks, Teach,” he said, pushing the tankard gently back towards her. “I kinda want a clear head for this late-night council of ours.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Mmm, I suppose that’s wise.” The look she gave him was fond and oddly soothing. “Balthus. Give me your flagon.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Wah?” The man leaned his upper body across Claude’s lap, the ale on his breath strong. Claude had half the mind to push him off the steps for the invasion of his personal space. “What for, pal? You’re not even done your’s yet.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Exactly.”</p>
<p class="p4">With a swift hand, Byleth snatched the mug from Balthus’ grasp, ignoring his indignant cry, which petered out once he realized why she took it. She poured the rest of her ale into his near-empty mug and handed it back to him with a steady hand that a drunken person wouldn’t have.</p>
<p class="p4">“Thank you for your company, and for the updates you gave me,” she said. “Unfortunately, my student-teacher meetings are confidential, so you’ll need to head back to Abyss now.”</p>
<p class="p4">Balthus leaned back with a shit-eating grin, waggling his eyebrows at Claude from over the rim of his mug. “Private lessons, eh? Lucky you.”</p>
<p class="p4">It was almost impressive how quickly this gambler could get under his skin.</p>
<p class="p4">Claude put back on his false smile. “Balthus, you’re not nearly as smooth as Teach here. If you get caught loitering around with students drunk, Seteth might put up posters of your face and location for your debt collectors to find.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Sheesh, I get it! You can be real snarky, just like <em>her. </em>Though, it’s less cute on you.”</p>
<p class="p4">His words made Claude’s blood run cold, and he had to resist telling him to shut up. Instead, he felt his smile tighten. A dozen deflections came to wait on the tip of his tongue, just in case.</p>
<p class="p4">Thankfully, Balthus took his cue to leave and stood from the steps, leaning back to face the sky. “Also, I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about me being drunk.” He thrust his tankard towards Claude in a mock toast. “This ain’t beer.”</p>
<p class="p4">With that, he walked off down the alley towards Abyss, whistling a carefree tune. It wasn’t until he was completely out of ear-shot that Byleth decided to speak again.</p>
<p class="p4">“I won’t ask about it.”</p>
<p class="p4">It was incredible how with only a few words, she could make him want to drop his walls down into rubble.</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>But that’s just love, I guess.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“You know, someday,” he let his tense smile drop and turned to face her completely again, wearing a somberness meant for her eyes only, “I wouldn’t mind if you did.”</p>
<p class="p4">She smiled. “I’ll look forward to it then.” Standing, she offered him her hand, which he took happily, allowing her to pull him to his feet. “Let’s take a walk so I can get rid of this buzz.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Really? You’re actually drunk?”</p>
<p class="p4">Sure enough her cheeks were still red. What an odd relief. Still, he couldn’t possibly miss out on this opportunity for some well-deserved teasing.</p>
<p class="p4">“And here I thought it was Balthus’ pure charisma that turned you that color. For shame, Teach! I’ve been slaving over the topics of discussion I had for you tonight, and you decide to get drunk with a gambler. Perhaps Manuela is too much of a bad influence on you after all. What would poor Professor Hanneman say?”</p>
<p class="p4">Byleth pouted in that very subtle way of hers. “Balthus brought me a barrel of some of Abyss’s best ale. As a gift for my recent troubles. I wanted to try it.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Couldn’t have waited for another night?”</p>
<p class="p4">“I’m not a lightweight, Claude. I’m hardly drunk.”</p>
<p class="p4">“You said yourself you’re buzzed. Come now, my dear Teach. Surely you know the definition of ‘buzzed.’ Shall I run to get a dictionary?”</p>
<p class="p4">With that, her face turned stern – the same expression she wore in the classroom when certain students were being particularly mouthy.</p>
<p class="p4">“Would you like to learn the definition of ‘dazed?’ I <em>could</em> pin you to the ground right now in less than five seconds, and you’d find out.” Her voice was firm with an authority that shot a thrill up his spine.</p>
<p class="p4">He couldn’t contain the laugh that bubbled from his throat. “No thank you! I yield!”</p>
<p class="p4">At the sound of his laugh, she notably smirked. “Good. Now follow me.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Yes Professor.”</p>
<p class="p4">Side-by-side, they strolled slowly down the pathway towards the classrooms’ courtyard. The nervous tension Claude had felt previously was all gone – thanks to Byelth’s lax attitude – and was replaced by an eagerness to start rambling off the questions he had for her. However, he kept quiet, choosing instead to give her the reigns for when that conversation would begin. Patience was the key to many of his schemes. And he was wise enough to know that patience was also the key to a well-working, honest relationship.</p>
<p class="p4">Once again, Claude noted the good weather and the lack of cutting winds. Idly, he mentioned he could see at least five constellations overhead. They ended up stopping so he could point them out to her. She told him she only ever needed to know where the lodestar was back when she was on the road; a traveler’s first lesson on how to never get lost. They spoke in mumbles, huddled close for warmth.</p>
<p class="p4">It was only then that Claude noticed Byleth’s state of dress for the night. A black, flowy blouse tucked into a pair of school-issued pants with school-issued boots. Hung on her shoulders was a woolen cloak a few sizes too big for her. Covered neck-to-toe, her face really stood out in the moonlight.</p>
<p class="p4">It was a pretty look.</p>
<p class="p4">He kept that thought to himself.</p>
<p class="p4">Eventually, they continued along. The comfortable atmosphere made Claude feel almost guilty, knowing he’d eventually need to break it by bringing up subjects that would put a damper on Byleth’s recovered good mood. Another reason as to why he wanted her to start the discussion rather than him.</p>
<p class="p4">She led him into the faculty building’s hallway. For a moment, he assumed they were headed upstairs to the library. Until she continued further and turned around the left corner. The realization of where they were headed made him pause.</p>
<p class="p4">“We’re walking to the Cathedral?”</p>
<p class="p4">At his question, she halted, turning to him almost hesitantly. “Do you mind? I think it looks pretty at night. And, there probably won’t be anyone there except the guard who raises the gate.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Oh, I don’t mind at all,” he assured, ushering her along outside to the bridge. “Was just curious as to why. I didn’t pen you for the type to admire architecture. Is Ignatz rubbing off on you?”</p>
<p class="p4">“Probably,” she answered. “I’ve learned a lot from you all. Over the time I’ve been here, all of you have made me realize that… I really wasn’t living. There wasn’t a time before I began teaching when I simply wanted to enjoy something for the sake of enjoying it.”</p>
<p class="p4">He could hear the conversation shifting to the reason they decided to meet tonight in the first place. A tight smile stretched on his face, as he pushed down the urge to start questioning her.</p>
<p class="p4">They reached the gate, which raised just enough for them to pass under. The guard gave him and Byleth an inquisitive look, but his Teach dismissed it with a simple nod in his direction, continuing on to the inside of the Cathedral. Funny. He was wondering what excuse she might have for the guard once they got there. He should’ve figured she’d just bypass giving one altogether.</p>
<p class="p4">He had to admit, the inside of the Cathedral at night really was a beautiful sight. The light of the moon shining through the elegantly large stained-glass windows gave the intricate structures and tiles an ethereal look. Even he couldn’t deny its holy appeal.</p>
<p class="p4">They walked up front to the first row of pews and sat down next to each other. For a moment, they simply gazed at the alter, glowing from the light beaming through the windows.</p>
<p class="p4">He saw from the corner of his eye Byleth’s hand raising to fist at her shirt, straight over her chest. The silence was finally broken with her whisper.</p>
<p class="p4">“I’m not normal, am I?”</p>
<p class="p4">He forced the fake smile off his face, and bit his tongue to stop from answering with a joking <em>‘You’re just realizing that now?’ </em>Instead, he released his budding nerves with a sigh.</p>
<p class="p4">It was time to be his true and honest self again. Curious, questioning, and blunt.</p>
<p class="p4">“No, you’re not. You can wield the Sword of the Creator without its crest stone and well…”</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Question number one.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“You must have realized at some point that you didn’t have a heartbeat back before you arrived here, Teach. Did it not bother you then?”</p>
<p class="p4">She shook her head. “I think I remember asking my father why I didn’t have one. But he said I was alive regardless, so I shouldn’t worry too much about it. So I just… didn’t.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Right… because your emotions were muted. Hard to panic when it’s hard to feel.”</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Question number two.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“Since you were a newborn, you didn’t emote like a normal child. You also had a bad memory, specifically with the people you and Jeralt met during your time as mercs. That carried on up until you saved us in Remire. Right?”</p>
<p class="p4">“That’s correct.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Sooo, why do you think that quirk about yourself just went away after that? Since <em>I’ve</em> known you, I came to realize your mind is like a steel trap when it comes to getting to know people. Hell, you might be the only professor who’s memorized all of your students’ weapons of choice, favorite teas, hobbies, favorite foods… nearly every small detail and preference about us. No short-term memory as far as I can tell.”</p>
<p class="p4">He faced her fully now to read all the little ticks in her face, even as she continued to stare at the floor in front of them. The corner of her mouth twitched down for a second, her brows furrowing just the slightest bit. There was that far-away look behind her eyes she got sometimes when spacing out.</p>
<p class="p4">“…in Remire that night,” she answered slowly, “…I’m not sure if I can explain. It was like I woke up from a haze. Like I wasn’t stuck in a fog anymore.”</p>
<p class="p4">He could hear the apprehension in her voice, the tone making him frown.</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>She’s holding something back. Should I press?</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">From his experience in navigating the world of newfound friendships, he knew it would be unwise to. He hadn’t pressed Flayn for her secrets after Remire was attacked. And while he didn’t have clearer answers, he still knew Flayn wouldn’t hesitate to spend time with him and rush to his aid in battle. </p>
<p class="p4">And earlier on the steps, even after Balthus hinted at knowing his mother, Byleth told him she wouldn’t pry. It wasn’t as though keeping secrets about his mom and where she was made him some terrible person. Instead, it was for the more valid sake of self-preservation.</p>
<p class="p4">He had pressed her before for Jeralt’s diary. But he knew that had been a dangerous gamble. They were both clueless and looking for answers. So if Byleth was unsure about sharing something about herself <em>now</em>, even after giving him the diary on a silver platter, well, it was probably for a good reason.</p>
<p class="p4">“A haze… okay. Gotcha.”</p>
<p class="p4">She looked up at him finally. “Yes,” she breathed.</p>
<p class="p4">He couldn’t help but smile at the tone of appreciation behind the word.</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Question number three.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“Alright. So you had trouble with your emotions and your memory. But after slipping out of that haze you felt, you’ve been able to express yourself better over time and remember things clearly. That’s all well in good, except there has to be a reason you felt like you were in a fog in the first place.”</p>
<p class="p4">Claude glanced over the pew, making sure they were truly alone and out of ear-shot of the guard. Seeing the coast was clear, he turned back to her, leaning in closer and dropping his voice down low.</p>
<p class="p4">“Rhea did something to you when you were born. It has to be related to you not having a heartbeat. Do you think that’s what caused your haze?”</p>
<p class="p4">“Yes,” she answered quickly. He was glad she was back to sounding self-assured. “She knew my mother well. And Sitri… she wasn’t normal either.”</p>
<p class="p4">He grimaced. “Right. About that…”</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Question number four.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“Did Jeralt ever tell you anything about your mother? How she knew Rhea? Why her body… well, you know. ”</p>
<p class="p4">Slowly, she shook her head again. “I did try to ask more about her afterward. But well, the new wound was still too fresh and he just told me, ‘later.’”</p>
<p class="p4">“I see. You had to start searching for answers yourself, after all.”</p>
<p class="p4">Her posture was rigid now, her hands clenched a bit too firmly in her lap. Without much thought, he reached over with his own hand to pry her curled fingers open so her nails didn’t bite into her palms.</p>
<p class="p4">“Have you tried asking Rhea?”</p>
<p class="p4">“Yes,” she answered, the word sounding bitter. “She only told me it was my mother’s last request to save my life over hers. Rhea never specified how she saved me, or why my mother didn’t decay. Her excuse for not burying her made it sound like Sitri was dear to her. But she never said why. Rhea… she has the habit of speaking in circles to avoid direct questions.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Yeah, I figured,” Claude sighed. “Though if anybody could get away with screaming her ear off for real answers, it would be you. Sure, it’s not really your ‘cool and composed’ style, but maybe it’d be worth a shot.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Do you think so?” Byleth asked dryly, turned to him with a half frown. “I know she favors me Claude, but I don’t think that would make me immune to her ire. Or Seteth’s.” A small look of uncertainty pinched her brows further down before she continued, “Often she speaks as though I’ll suddenly know everything. Like she’s waiting for something.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Really?” He squeezed her hand. “Like what?”</p>
<p class="p4">“I don’t know. I’m starting to think she’s just trying to make me believe she’ll tell me everything at some point, while in reality, she actually never plans to. It must have something to do with my ability.” A pause. “To wield the sword I mean.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Well of course. To have such power makes you a somewhat holy figure by default.” He tapped his fingers against hers in an aimless rhythm for a moment, thinking. “Maybe she gave you the ability to wield it somehow when you were a baby. Or maybe you inherited it from Sitri. That would explain her obsession over you from the start.”</p>
<p class="p4">Her fingers intertwined with his and he felt his running thoughts come to a halt, his heart skipping.</p>
<p class="p4">“It seems likely doesn’t it?” When had her face ended up so close to his? “Either way, I feel like she’s trying to use me somehow.”</p>
<p class="p4">Those words kickstarted his brain back on.</p>
<p class="p4">“She is.” The anger in his tone surprised even himself. He could see her eyes widen, clearly just as stunned. “But you know, Teach, she can’t control you. Whether she took away your heart or planned on you wielding the sword from day one, you <em>are</em> your <em>own person</em>. Only you can decide on how to use that power.”</p>
<p class="p4">The smile she gave him was beautifully wide. Her fingers squeezed his and he was able to squeeze back.</p>
<p class="p4">“I know. Thank you, Claude.”</p>
<p class="p4">For a moment, they let the conversation lull. His traitorous heart began to beat faster, and he could feel his face flushing. But he refused to turn away, or let go of her hand. Instead, he moved and curled his fingers experimentally against hers in simple exploration.</p>
<p class="p4">“Your hand feels warm for a change.”</p>
<p class="p4">“That’s because you’ve been holding it,” she nearly whispered.</p>
<p class="p4">“Humor me, Teach. It’s not every day I get to hold your hand.”</p>
<p class="p4">She elbowed him lightly, her own face turning pink again. “Are you going to ask me more questions, or what?”</p>
<p class="p4">Claude cleared his throat and smirked at her sass. “Hmmm, going through that big ol’ mind bowl of mine, I think I just have one left.”</p>
<p class="p4">“What is it?”</p>
<p class="p4">Honestly, this was a question he had thought of just now to ask her. Influenced by the Cathedral and all the talk of Rhea.</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Improvised question number five.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“Do you believe in gods? I don't necessarily mean the goddess of the Seiros religion. Just... gods in general. Do you believe that incredible beings who control the fates of all really exist?”</p>
<p class="p4">Surely she didn’t. Being raised ignorant of all things related to the church would make that answer obvious. He knew the question was more for himself. Since he believed in… other things.</p>
<p class="p4">It was a surprise to him that she hesitated to answer. There was that far-away look in her gaze again, as though she was looking right through him. He could see her lips forming to answer ‘no,’ but she shocked him further when she answered–</p>
<p class="p4">“Yes.” Somehow, she sounded almost guilty saying it.</p>
<p class="p4">She was bracing herself. Like she was about to be reprimanded. Did she think he’d judge her for that? It hadn’t been his intention to put her on the spot, or make her uncomfortable.</p>
<p class="p4">“Huh,” he said simply. “That's not the answer I was expecting.”</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Guess I should open up a bit, too.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">He twisted his fingers deeper into her’s again.</p>
<p class="p4">“Though, honestly,” he continued, “I've recently become a bit of a believer myself.”</p>
<p class="p4">It was her turn to look thrown off. “Really?”</p>
<p class="p4">“It’s true.” He leaned back in the pew, looking up at the painted ceiling. “I’ve always hated the idea of praying to a god. After all, you can only really rely on yourself. I still believe that.”</p>
<p class="p4">A call back to what they had just spoken about, with her being in control. He tapped his boot against hers, hoping she recognized that.</p>
<p class="p4">“You can't win a war by leaving your fate in the hands of a god,” he explained in analogy. “Only tangible facts can really decide a war. Which side has the most troops, the best tactics, the better organization and planning. Of course, miracles can happen. And by that, I mean things that are completely outside of your control. Things that only seem to add up if you believe in the concept of fate…”</p>
<p class="p4">It really was a miracle she had chosen him.</p>
<p class="p4">“Things like... well, meeting you, for example.”</p>
<p class="p4">He felt her fingers twitch in his before squeezing again. He couldn’t help but smile.</p>
<p class="p4">“What do you mean?” she asked, her voice quiet and curious.</p>
<p class="p4">“You just seem sort of... impossible,” he said shrugging a shoulder, turning his head back down to look into her eyes. “I mean, just think of all we just spoke about. I think everyone would agree with that. You can wield the Sword of the Creator, you're a tactical genius, and you have this strange ability to earn the trust of anyone you cross paths with. The deer, the wolves, the Knights…”</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Even mine, and that’s no small feat.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“Before I met you, I never imagined that it was possible for someone like you to exist. And yet, now that I know you, your presence in my life has quickly become invaluable.”</p>
<p class="p4">The same warm sensation he had felt in the Goddess Tower with her flooded his chest.</p>
<p class="p4">“In fact,” he continued, “it's hard to imagine making my dreams come true without your help. Because of that, I can't believe for a second that our meeting was just a coincidence. That means it must have been fate. Maybe it was a miracle. Or maybe some god empathized with me and my dreams.”</p>
<p class="p4">Byleth stiffened again. But she didn’t look away. “Some god?”</p>
<p class="p4">“Again, I don't mean the goddess of Fódlan. Though... I suppose it may be hard for you to grasp what I'm talking about.”</p>
<p class="p4">Even if she said she believed in gods, her only exposure to faith was here at the Monastery, under the teachings of Rhea.</p>
<p class="p4">"People all over the world have different ideas about who or what the gods are, right?”</p>
<p class="p4">She gave a quick nod. “Like Petra.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Right! Even in distant lands across the ocean or over the mountains… They have gods who see the world as a whole, who don't care about Fódlan's borders… Who don't meddle in our affairs. Who don't grant life or take it away.” They both grimaced, Aelfric and the chalice crossing his mind and no doubt hers as well.</p>
<p class="p4">“And maybe,” he kept going, moving past it, “sometimes, they'll make a miracle happen. A god like that… That's the sort of god I think I could believe in.</p>
<p class="p4">Her shoulders had slackened as he had rambled on. Those big eyes now watching him closely. Suddenly self-conscious, he looked at their intertwined hands, still locked together.</p>
<p class="p4">“I think I understand,” Byelth said after the pause.</p>
<p class="p4">It made him indescribably happy that she did.</p>
<p class="p4">“Careful, Teach!” he joked, ignoring the sentimental beat of his heart. “You'll anger the followers of Seiros if you say things like that.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Mmmm,” she hummed, grinning warmly. “It’s a good thing we’re alone then.”</p>
<p class="p4">“Very true.”</p>
<p class="p4">He looked to their hands again. Realizing that, at some point, both of them had scaled each other's walls high enough to connect like this. It was a sort of intimacy he found he quite enjoyed.</p>
<p class="p4">“I'm just speaking my mind, that's all,” he mumbled, testing the waters further. “I think people should be free to believe in whatever gods they want. If a person believes in a god and that god becomes a support system to them, that's a good thing. That's what a god should be.” He bit his lip at her silence, hoping this honest side of himself didn’t bother her. “Anyway... Maybe I've overstepped it.”</p>
<p class="p4">His heart skipped again when she lifted his hand upwards to clasp in between both of hers. She angled her head to meet his downturned one, so she could properly meet his eyes.</p>
<p class="p4">“No,” she said simply. “It doesn't matter.”</p>
<p class="p4">
  <em>Truly, a miracle.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4">“I knew you'd understand.” He grinned broadly back, happy he could trust confiding in her. “In any case, let's keep this conversation between the two of us, yeah?”</p>
<p class="p4">“Of course, Claude.” Byleth stood, pulling him to his feet alongside her. “Now come on. I don’t know about you, but I’m properly tired.”</p>
<p class="p4">They began their way back down the aisle, towards the gates. Their hands slid apart, and he had to ignore the minor prickling sensation of loss it gave him. There was still the guard to worry about, after all.</p>
<p class="p4">“I don’t know, Teach. My day-nap left me pretty awake. I might become a tried and true night owl.”</p>
<p class="p4">“You will not.” Her stoic mask came back on, just in time for the guard to see as they reached the gates. “Fall asleep in my class again, and you <em>will </em>be assigned extra rubble-clearing duty.”</p>
<p class="p4">He laughed genuinely, glad to know the guard didn’t know him well enough to sense that. “Alright, reading you loud and clear. It’s an early night for me.”</p>
<p class="p4">Together, they walked back to the dorms, preparing for a new day to face the world.</p>
<p class="p4"> </p>
<p class="p4"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading!</p>
<p>Again, sorry for the late-ish update. This chapter is an extra bit longer than the others, so hopefully, that makes up for it.</p>
<p>B+ support this chapter! Claude and Byleth share their questions, thoughts, and feelings. (You can hear in Byleth's head Sothis going "don't say you believe in me," and Byleth saying, "I'm gonna tell him.) It's kinda obvious that the game devs expect people to get this support during the war phase, yet it's available right after Jeralt's death, so... 🤷 Also cameo from Balthus, because I love him. His relationship with Claude is pretty hilarious to me. </p>
<p>The title is lyrics from the song Welcome to the Family by Watsky. It's a very sweet song (for rap) about opening up to others you trust and love and sharing your troubles rather than bottling up everything inside. It kinda fits Claude's character arc perfectly. </p>
<p>Hope you're all good! Happy new year!</p>
<p>Stay safe &amp; stay well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. And all the fears you hold so dear...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Claude has a conversation with Dimitri that makes him reflect on his own desires – ones that may be in conflict with Byleth's. He knows he's going to have to talk to her eventually.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>Chapter 7</strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>And all the fears you hold so dear,<br/>
</strong>
  <strong>Will turn to whisper in your ear.</strong>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p3">It had become normal, at least within the Golden Deer House, for the students to expect a mid-moon training quest or two out on the road. Byleth would receive missions, errands, or simple favors from the Knights and the common folk that made a home at the Monastery, which would then be relayed to the class, and then the students would find themselves packed up and outside of Garreg Mach, taking out bandit camps, training with soldiers, or slaying demonic beasts that found residence too close to unprotected villages.</p><p class="p3">Obviously, it was a different case this time around.</p><p class="p3">“We’ll be staying within the grounds of Garreg Mach this Guardian Moon,” Byleth had told them during class when a brooding Felix had asked her if they’d be taking quests. “If you would like extra combat training from me, I will be happy to oblige you.”</p><p class="p3">Everybody present could read in between the lines. They had to be <em>here</em> for when Solon and Monica were finally found.</p><p class="p3">And Claude, being seated up front in the classroom as he always was, could feel the many eyes of his classmates glancing at his back. Their gazes didn’t make him feel pressured, nor did they elicit any unease.</p><p class="p3">Instead, they made him feel encouraged. Uplifted by their support. Because he knew they were all preparing to see this mission through together. Prepping in their own ways. Some by sharping their weapons and taking to the training grounds with their battalions. Some by listening in on areas their House Leader couldn’t get to himself. Others still by looking into countermeasures against dark magics.</p><p class="p3">They were practically ready.</p><p class="p3">And Claude wouldn’t let Rhea or anyone else dash their collective hopes.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">Perhaps it should have been expected that on Rhea’s birthday – which also coincided with Saint Seiros Day – even dire missions would be put to the wayside for celebration and observance.</p><p class="p3">Of course, Claude took advantage of the extra helpings of food in the mess hall for the dueling commemorations. And he certainly didn’t mind that morale – which had been low since Jeralt’s death – was finally being lifted. Even if by a religion he didn’t believe in. And by the birthday for a woman he didn’t particularly like or trust.</p><p class="p3">However, these distractions meant that the few Knights who hadn’t been dispatched were taking a day off from actively discussing their current mission details. Which meant there was no point in snooping around.</p><p class="p3">Despite this fact though, Claude wouldn’t let this day go to waste. He had already paid a pretty coin to Anna to be his extra ear, just in case any of the scouting crews came back with the whereabouts on their old, traitorous librarian. She had set up her stall perfectly next to the entrance gates, where she would be the first to know if any of the Knights came back successful. And with a little extra payment, she promised him she’d take no days off. Which meant he couldn’t afford a day off either.</p><p class="p3">He was halfway through the Reception Hall, headed towards the training grounds to meet with Ignatz and Leonie for some much-needed bow practice when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder stopping him mid-stride.</p><p class="p3">“Claude, may I have a word?”</p><p class="p3">It was Dimitri on the other end of the arm, all but scowling at him. Looking just a bit too irritable. Actually, if it weren’t for the fact they were in a crowded and safe area, Claude might have thought that the taller boy was flagging him down for a throttling.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Strange to see someone so sour-looking on such a cheery day.</em>
</p><p class="p3">Carefully, he removed the tense hand away from his neck before answering with a performative smile, “You can have a few words even, your Highness. What’s up?”</p><p class="p3">Dimitri shook his head, “Not here,” and began to lead Claude in the direction he just came from. “The garden near the gazebo should be fairly empty.”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Seriously? Again with this?</em>
</p><p class="p3">“You’re not inviting me for tea out there, are you? Maybe this weather is considered nice for you Faerghus and Adrestian kids, but for me? Not so much.”</p><p class="p3">“What?” Dimitri looked over his shoulder, his deadly look softening into one of innocent confusion. “Ah, no. I would just like to go over your most recent– ugh, well, your <em>current objectives</em>. House Leader to House Leader.” His eyes shifted side to side, probably checking if anyone was paying them any mind. “That is all.”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Right. Very subtle.</em>
</p><p class="p3">So this <em>was</em> happening again. Perhaps he should have figured that Dimitri would also be curious about what the plan was about finding Solon and Monica. In fact, it was a bit surprising that the prince hadn’t brought it up earlier. The Blue Lion’s were all about ‘nobility and knighthood’ after all, and what was nobler than bringing down enemy infiltrators who had murdered a well-known hero who worked for the Church.</p><p class="p3">Or maybe, that would just be a good excuse for Dimitri to get out on the battlefield. Given his most recent bouts of anger and violence against the poor training dummies, perhaps the prince was just looking for a justified outlet for his rage.</p><p class="p3">“Well, let’s get to it then,” Claude sighed, continuing to follow Dimitri to the gazebo.</p><p class="p3">Except when they got outside, the area wasn’t as barren as they both assumed it would be. Instead, sitting prim and properly in the gazebo, bundled in elegant robes and cloaks and holding a steaming cup of tea, was Rhea, accompanied by very impassive-looking Teach.</p><p class="p3">Claude felt his heart drop.</p><p class="p3">Had Rhea invited Byleth out here? Perhaps she was simply just looking to spend her birthday with her current obsession. Or maybe Byleth had set this up? To question Rhea in an unconfrontational way?</p><p class="p3">“Oh!” Dimitri exclaimed at the sight of them. “Lady Rhea. Professor. Please, excuse us. Claude and I were…” he threw a helpless look Claude’s way.</p><p class="p3">He had to resist rolling his eyes. For as good as Dimitri was at lying about his mental health, he was an absolute disaster at lying about literally anything else.</p><p class="p3">“We were just hoping to have a quiet chat, House Leader to House Leader,” Claude explained, using his best professional cadence while addressing the Archbishop. It was technically the truth. “Seems this spot is already taken.” A wink solely for Byleth. She remained blank-faced. Not a great sign. “We’ll take our business elsewhere.”</p><p class="p3">Rhea smiled politely, nothing about the gesture reaching her eyes. “It is a joy to see two of Fódlan’s future leaders getting along so well. Please, take this day to relax, and give thanks to the Goddess. I’m sure if she receives blessings from you both together on this day, it will lead to good fortune for both the Kingdom and Alliance.”</p><p class="p3">“Ah, of course, Lady Rhea.” Dimitri gave a polite bow.</p><p class="p3">Claude remained silent and upright, instead peering at his teacher again, who locked eyes with him. He could peek under her flat mask. Focused, patient, cunning – the same look she wore when planning routes for battle. To anybody unable to read her, she probably looked like she was having a boring, plain conversation. It seemed she wasn’t letting the information she learned from Jeralt’s diary affect the way she handled Rhea. That was good; a tactic he played often. Let the person on the other side of the table underestimate you. Don’t let on you know more than they think you do.</p><p class="p3">“We’ll be on our way,” Dimitri continued as he straightened up.</p><p class="p3">“The Knight’s Hall is fairly empty right now,” Byleth remarked, looking down into her teacup. “Perhaps you should take your discussion there. I’m sure the fireplace is lit.”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Ah, Teach… always looking to warm me up.</em>
</p><p class="p3">“Now, that does sound like a rather pleasant spot, doesn’t it, your princeliness?” Claude asked. “We don’t have hot cups of tea to keep us warm after all.”</p><p class="p3">“It does,” the prince managed a smile. “Thank you, Professor. I’m, uh, glad to see you’re doing well. Please, if you ever find yourself looking for assistance with anything, I would be happy to lend a hand.”</p><p class="p3">The sentiment won a light smirk from their professor. “I appreciate that, Dimitri. May I ask you a favor now?”</p><p class="p3">He took a step forward, eyes bright and eager. “Of course!”</p><p class="p3">“No training today,” that smile turned mischievous. “Eat well and spend time with your friends instead.”</p><p class="p3">Dimitri’s hopeful countenance fell away, his lips twisting in indignation. “That’s… not what I meant. However, if that is your request, I shall concede.”</p><p class="p3">Claude almost had to stifle a chuckle.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Good play.</em>
</p><p class="p3">“Come on, your Highness.” He threw an arm around the taller boy’s shoulders and began to lead him away. “I’m one of those friends, you know.”</p><p class="p3">“Yes…”</p><p class="p3">Over his shoulder, another wink for Byleth. This time, smile remaining, she nodded back. He let his eyes linger long enough to see that grin drop back down into a straight line for her blank-faced stare, as Rhea’s attention fell back onto her.</p><p class="p3">As they left the small courtyard, Claude could hear Rhea’s monotonous voice trail away, “So fond of you, they are. Now, where were we, my child?”</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">The Knight’s Hall was indeed next to empty since most of the Knights were gone and the others still lingering around were spending their time in the mess hall and Cathedral. Only one person occupied the homey space; a young orphan boy much like Cyril, stoking life into the fire of the hearth with an iron poker.</p><p class="p3">Dimitri shrugged Claude’s arm off with a tired sigh and approached the boy first.</p><p class="p3">“Hello, Sam. Please, allow me. Go enjoy the cakes from today with your sister.”</p><p class="p3">Noticing the prince, the boy lit up. His stance straightening not from respect, but from excitement.</p><p class="p3">“Oh! Really? Are you sure? I’m not done my chores yet though…”</p><p class="p3">“I’m sure Lady Rhea won’t mind. It’s a special day, after all.” Even with his back turned, Claude could hear affectionate warmth steeped into the prince’s tone. “It’s no trouble at all.”</p><p class="p3">“Thank you, your Highness!”</p><p class="p3">The young lad thrust the poker into Dimitri’s awaiting hand, and sprinted to the door, offering Claude a single wave on his way out.</p><p class="p3">“Someone you know?” Claude asked, walking up and taking a seat on the old couch.</p><p class="p3">The embers sitting in the hearth burned a bright red, coloring Dimitri’s face with an orange glow as he jabbed at them aimlessly.</p><p class="p3">He was back to looking miserable.</p><p class="p3">“Just a boy who lost his parents. Not from the incident in Remire. It was from an earlier misfortune. One from the Kingdom.” He tossed a few logs into the fire, and jammed them into the coals with the iron rod, forcing them to light. “His parents were killed by roaming bandits. After he lost them, Sam took his sister and hitched various rides all across Fódlan to arrive here at Garreg Mach. Can you guess why he chose this place for refuge?”</p><p class="p3">Claude crossed his legs and hummed in thought, settling into the dipping cushion. “Well, this place does act as an orphanage of sorts. Rhea takes kids in freely. The older ones do chores to learn work ethic so they can have an easier time finding work later on. Usually here. For children without parents, it’s a safe place to be. There are all sorts of benefits for orphans here. Sounds like he was just looking after his and his sister’s best interests.”</p><p class="p3">“That’s a broad answer,” Dimitri uttered, putting the poker back on its hook and taking a seat next to Claude. “You’re not wrong. But there’s a more specific reason he came here. A <em>certain</em> path he wants to walk down. One that can only be obtained through rigorous training. Sam wants to be a Knight.” He turned to face the future duke. Eyes flashing so brutally, they burned like searing blue flames. “So he can find the bastards who killed his mother and father and strike them down. He wants them dead.”</p><p class="p3">A disarming smile curled Claude’s lips. Out of habit more than anything. A grin that was often reserved for placating Count Gloucester and the other hostile heads of the Alliance round table. It was plain enough to see that Dimitri was sympathizing with the boy.</p><p class="p3">“Well,” Claude said, “learning from the Knights of Seiros will certainly educate him on how to best handle a weapon. But, how old is he? Will the people who killed his parents even be around still when he’s old enough to become a Knight? I mean, they were <em>roaming</em> bandits, weren’t they? Also, Knight’s can’t just go around doing whatever they want. They serve under the Archbishop. Wouldn’t it be smarter to become a mercenary? That way, he could actually go track down whoever he’s looking for.”</p><p class="p3">Dimitri frowned further. “Don’t dissect his life choices, Claude. Vengeance is not a simple and selfish act. To be a Knight is a great honor. It gives you the authority – the righteousness – to sentence people to hell.” Something akin to realization struck the prince, causing him to wave his hands and quickly backpedal. “That isn’t to say that mercenaries who have been slighted can’t take revenge as well…” He shifted in his seat, voice tuning low. “The Professor… she will be seeking vengeance soon. Won’t she?”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Well, this is uncomfortable.</em>
</p><p class="p3">Claude knew Dimitri had a sad and bloody history when it came to personal loss. But like before, with Byleth, he simply couldn’t relate to something so deeply cutting like that.</p><p class="p3">Surely, the prince of Almyra knew what it felt like to be betrayed. Yet, even so, it was never his will to see his betrayers executed on the spot. When he was still young, it was hard to come to grips with people wanting him killed for simply <em>being</em>. It wasn’t up to him what punishments were fit for the traitors. And so, his father, more ruthless than his son, would see to it that those devious maids and shifty-eyed guards who attempted to end Khalid’s life paid with their own. Right away.</p><p class="p3">It was never a satisfying outcome. Deep in his gut, he knew the reasons <em>why</em> they would try to kill him. They deserved punishment, of course, for those <em>whys</em>. He didn’t mourn his traitors' deaths. But he didn’t celebrate them either. Because what did their deaths truly fix in the bigger picture?</p><p class="p3">It was a disappointment in and of itself that he would be targeted for those <em>whys </em>in the first place. Those attempts on his life made him want to get into the heads of others. See why they had such discriminatory biases. See if those biases could <em>change</em>.</p><p class="p3">He dreamed of a better world where borders didn’t separate people, body and mind, with baseless walls and prejudices. Where there wouldn’t be ignorant reasons to raise weapons against one another in the first place.</p><p class="p3">But Claude lived long enough to know that in their war-torn lands, killing was still sometimes necessary. When negotiation was impossible, and bargaining failed, and when the enemy was openly looking to spill blood – well, <em>that</em> was when Claude knew taking up a weapon was the only option.</p><p class="p3"><em>‘We do not relish in killing,’</em> he could remember Byleth saying during their first outing to the Red Canyon when they were tasked to take down a group of bandits. <em>‘It’s not easy taking lives. As it shouldn’t be. We kill to survive.’ </em>She had fastened Ignatz’s armor tighter before handing Marianne a sword.<em> ‘Your finishing blows should be fast and efficient. Do not let them suffer. Even if they disrespect you.’</em></p><p class="p3">How would she deal with getting her revenge? To be bloodthirsty, even against those who took her father away – it just seemed too out of character for her to be. And she was curious, wasn’t she? About the <em>whys</em>. About what drove Solon and the Flame Emperor. About what Rhea had done to hurt her father. To hurt <em>her</em>.</p><p class="p3">But in the heat of the moment, if she was just looking to cut them down for catharsis, well who would he be to tell her that was wrong? His own experiences on the subject of vengeance were just… so different. Personal in a completely unrelated way.</p><p class="p3">“You would know better than me,” he heard himself saying to Dimitri, “on what Teach would want to do right now.”</p><p class="p3">The prince shook his head. “I’m not… close to her like you are, Claude.” Picking at his gloves, he spoke quietly again, “I know what you’ve been up to. Obtaining information from the Knights so you and the deer can ambush Solon before they can. It’s clear it’s so the Professor can avenge Jeralt herself.”</p><p class="p3">True. That was indeed what his snooping was for.</p><p class="p3">But there was another reason, too. The same reason he had been ready to question Flayn. Why he had been digging up information on crest stones and relics. Why he had been desperate to read Jeralt’s diary. Why he didn’t trust Rhea. Why he wanted Byleth’s power.</p><p class="p3">There was a reason fueled by his own personal desires. The desire for the <em>whys</em>. Information. Uncovering the truth so that Solon and the Flame Emperor could be stopped from spreading death and havoc.</p><p class="p3">Because quite frankly, they were getting in the way of his own ambitions of a unified world. And for Solon and Monica to just <em>die</em> without spilling intel wouldn’t be a satisfactory ending. The dead couldn’t speak of their future plans.</p><p class="p3">Were his own intentions… clear to Byleth? Had he ever actually asked her? Would she take them into consideration when trying to achieve her own goal?</p><p class="p3">“Claude?”</p><p class="p3">“Hm?” He turned to Dimitri, now looking at him apprehensively.</p><p class="p3">“Am I treading where I shouldn’t be? You became quiet.”</p><p class="p3">Claude looked to the hearth, now nurturing a roaring flame that was burning too intensely. The logs were already turning to ash and coal. </p><p class="p3">“You’re not asking too much, Dimitri. But you are asking the obvious. By now, everybody in the student body knows what we’re up to.”</p><p class="p3">But were they moving too fast? He could never deny Byleth her desire to see her father’s killers dead. But would they be able to<em> learn</em> anything from all of this?</p><p class="p3">
  <em>I have to talk to her about this, don’t I?</em>
</p><p class="p3">“Well Claude,” Dimitri continued, unaware of his companion’s troubled thoughts, “I will tell you the same thing I told the Professor. If your class needs any extra manpower on this hunt, I will humbly offer my lance.”</p><p class="p3">The prince pulled an unfamiliar dagger from a sheath on his belt. He carefully twisted it in his fingers, the edge catching the light of the fire.</p><p class="p3">“These bastards have already attempted to raid the holy tomb. They tried to take Flayn. And what after they did in Remire, and to Captain Jeralt,” Dimitri looked up, that intense fire back in his eyes, “they don’t deserve to walk away again.”</p><p class="p3">“I know, Dimitri,” Claude offered. Again, unable to relate to this rage.</p><p class="p3">It made him feel guilty for wanting more than just revenge.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">When Claude got to the training grounds, Leonie and Ignatz were already in the midst of practice. Ashe was there too, sitting off to the side and bracing arrows meant for actual battle.</p><p class="p3">“Sheesh,” Leonie puffed good-naturedly as she noticed his entrance. “Took you long enough to get here. We were starting to think you wouldn’t show.”</p><p class="p3">She wore a smile and looked relatively relaxed. That was a relief. He wasn’t sure if she would be reflective of Dimitri after her loss; dour and angry. But it seemed she was acting like Byleth had – moving on by getting back into the swing of their student lives.</p><p class="p3">“Sorry,” he smiled back, clapping her on the shoulder. “Got held up by a prince.” He exaggerated his voice, mimicking how Lorenz would speak when demeaning those beneath his class. “It would have been quite <em>unsightly</em> and <em>arrogant</em> if I had brushed off his request for a chat. It was a discussion for noble ears only. I’m sure you can understand.”</p><p class="p3">Leonie laughed and gave him a shove. “Gross! Don’t make this commoner knock some sense back into you.” She grabbed a wooden bow off the ground tossed it to him. “As far as I’m concerned, your number one priority is sharpening those archery skills of yours before our mission this moon.”</p><p class="p3">She took aim with her own practice bow, aiming towards the targets set up on the other end of the grounds. It only took her a few seconds to adjust her trajectory before letting the arrow fly straight and true. It punctured the wooden circle set up in the center, almost hitting the bullseye.</p><p class="p3">“Wow, Leonie,” Ignatz approached, handing Claude a quiver of arrows. “You’re really sharp today. I don’t think I’ve seen you hit outside the inner five circles on any of them yet.”</p><p class="p3">“There is no <em>yet</em>, Ignatz,” she exhaled while lowering her arms. “Man! I’m just not perfect today!”</p><p class="p3">Idly, Claude twirled an arrow in his fingers, raising an eyebrow at her defeated tone. “No need to be perfect. If that bullseye was a bandit’s neck, you still would've hit your mark. Simple as that.”</p><p class="p3">The red-head turned to glower at him in a way that was more playful than serious. “That’s easy for you to say mister <em>perfect aim, perfect power.</em>”</p><p class="p3">“Perfect aim, perfect power?” he laughed. “When have I ever bragged about that?”</p><p class="p3">“You don’t have to! Come on, don’t be humble about it. Everyone in the Golden Deer knows that you’re the best at archery. It’s not even a competition! Right guys?”</p><p class="p3">Ignatz jumped a bit at the volume of Leonie’s voice and adjusted his glasses. “Er, well, yeah? I mean – yes.” He turned to his house leader, toying with the strap of his quiver. “To be honest, you’ve taught me the most valuable lessons of archery. Ones the Professor wouldn’t even be able to convey. <em>Not </em>that she’s bad at instructing or anything! She’s just, not as experienced as you when it comes down to it.”</p><p class="p3">“It’s true!” Ashe spoke up from his spot on the steps, smiling cheerily while keeping his eyes on stringing an iron bow. “When I first transferred, she encouraged me to ask you for advice on putting power behind my shots instead of just relying on my speed. You’ve been a big help to me on that!”</p><p class="p3">Claude felt a prideful smirk worm its way onto his face at the open praise. “Come on now! You’re making me blush! What sorta House Leader would I be if I didn’t help guide you guys alongside Teach? We’re a team after all.”</p><p class="p3">“Yeah. She relies on you a lot.” Leonie took aim again, the wood of the bow audibly creaking as she pulled back the string. The arrow was let go to fly, hitting the ring right outside the center of the left target. “Shame she could never teach you enough about swordsmanship for you to use it in actual combat.”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Aaand, here we go.</em>
</p><p class="p3">It was meant to be a joke at his expense, he knew. But there was just the right amount of bitterness in her tone that it tinged the comment with real resentment. The indirect slight against Byleth’s skill as a mentor ignited something defensive in him.</p><p class="p3">“Just not my forte. <em>Yet.</em>” He drew his own bow and took a second to aim. He released the arrow just as he heard the wood start to groan, and it flew, piercing its mark with an audible thunk – the bullseye of the left target. Sitting next to Leonie’s shot. “I can’t be ‘Duke Perfect’ at everything I do. Plus, with Petra and Felix in our class, do we really <em>need</em> any more swordsmen swinging blades around? I got my axe alongside my bow. That’s enough for me. For now.”</p><p class="p3">“The more skills you know, the better, I’d say,” she shot back flatly, staring down the left target. Noticing her own disgruntled shift in mood, she shook her head and smiled again. “Anyway, I have noticed your improvement with your axe lately. You’re a good flyer too. So I suppose you are well equipped enough. <em>For now.</em>”</p><p class="p3">Seemed she was ready to move past talking about their teacher. The wisest thing to do would be to go along with it. Because really, it wasn’t as though he<em> liked</em> hearing others talk badly about Byleth.</p><p class="p3">Yet that irksome feeling also made him want to confront this – <em>whatever it was </em>– that was going on between his comrade and the women he loved. It was in his nature to be curious. And since it concerned Teach, it felt like it was his business in a way.</p><p class="p3">But it wasn’t. He <em>knew</em> it wasn’t.</p><p class="p3">Byelth could handle this weird beef Leonie had with her herself. Just like how she was facing Rhea, despite everything. She was emotionally strong in that way. That strength was one of the qualities that made him like her so much.</p><p class="p3">Besides, he had her trust. If she wanted him to know about it, she’d tell him about it later. (Maybe. If he asked sweetly enough.)</p><p class="p3">So he would make the wise decision and let it go. But <em>man</em>, was it hard to let a mystery slip through his fingers!</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Will Byleth expect me to just let the possibility of gaining intel go on our mission… so she can simply kill Monica and Solon?</em>
</p><p class="p3">The thought was unwelcomed and it twisted his gut. That same guilty feeling from before arose.</p><p class="p3">“Let’s test what we know best today, Claude!” Leonie’s sudden shout rattled him out of his thoughts. “I’m going to beat you in a one-on-one archery competition. Right now!”</p><p class="p3">Ashe laughed and Ignatz quietly offered to be the judge.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>You’ll just have to ask her about it. Simple.</em>
</p><p class="p3">So why did it feel like it wasn’t?</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">Later that day, Claude sat outside Byelth’s door. The sun was dipping below the horizon, and dusk was painting the old stone buildings in red light and purple shadows.</p><p class="p3">He drew a map of Fódlan in the dirt with the tip of an arrow he pilfered from training earlier. The shapes of the borders came from memory. From when he had intensely studied the history and geography of his mother’s homeland. A place he had only one foot in.</p><p class="p3">Teach would understand – he told himself for the dozenth time – where he was coming from when asking about approaching this mission carefully. For information. Not just revenge.</p><p class="p3">They were a team. Aiming to complement each other's goals. If he was willing to help her out, she’d be willing to help him out.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Right?</em>
</p><p class="p3">Byleth approached in his periphery from the direction of the greenhouse, hard to miss. Without looking up, he continued to sketch the mountains surrounding Garreg Mach.</p><p class="p3">“Claude,” she greeted. “What are you up to?”</p><p class="p3">“Was hoping we could have a little chat, Teach.” Looking up, he saw the curious glint in her eye. He twirled his arrow and offered a grin. “Over tea? We can have any flavor you want.”</p><p class="p3">She hummed, peering at his drawn map. “Not sure I have a favorite. But fair warning, I like the sweet brews.”</p><p class="p3">“Hmm, perhaps we could reach a compromise then? Nothing fruity. I don’t particularly like that in teas. No sugar. Not sure I could finish anything too flowery either.”</p><p class="p3">Her gaze stayed fixed on the drawing for a second longer before she turned to him and reached out to pinch his nose.</p><p class="p3">“You’re picky.”</p><p class="p3">“Hey now,” he laughed, swatting her hand away. She smiled. “I just know what I like. Someone in this duo has to.”</p><p class="p3">“Suppose that’s fair,” she said, stepping around the map and striding past him up the steps. As he stood and she opened the door, she looked back down to the dirt. “You drew that from memory?”</p><p class="p3">“Uhh, yeah. It’s not as pretty as anything Ignatz could do, but I’d like to think I’m not too terrible at maps at least.”</p><p class="p3">She nodded. “It’s impressive. It’ll be a shame when the wind sweeps it away.”</p><p class="p3">For some reason, the genuine lilt of delight in her tone, plus the implication she would try to preserve his little map, made his face feel hot.</p><p class="p3">“Just a sketch, Teach. Nothing to gawk at.”</p><p class="p3">“On the contrary. It’s a good skill to have has a leader.” The practical response made him grin. “Come in. I’ll think of something you won’t hate to drink.”</p><p class="p3">Entering her room, Claude went to set up her table. Arranging the chairs to be directly across from each other. He draped hers with a blanket from the end of her bed – the same offering she had given him during their last tea time. As the tea brewed, she rummaged through a cabinet and handed him a thicker throw.</p><p class="p3">“Sheesh,” he huffed, taking it has she practically forced it in his arms. “You treat me like I just emerged from a frozen lake. I don’t complain <em>that</em> <em>much</em> about being cold, do I?”</p><p class="p3">“No.” She turned back to the teapot, waiting for it to sing. “Not out loud, at least.”</p><p class="p3">That same warm sensation crawled up his neck.</p><p class="p3">“Reading my mind?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows despite the fact she was turned away from him.</p><p class="p3">“Perhaps,” was her playful reply.</p><p class="p3">A smirk split his face as he sat down, bundling himself up with the throw. It was soft and clean. Smelling slightly of a perfume that he recognized as her own. Something gifted from Hilda, probably.</p><p class="p3">“Unfair, Teach. How come you get to be a mind reader? Here I am, having to use my schemes and charm to make people talk.”</p><p class="p3">“For you? That’s enough.”</p><p class="p3">He laughed, “Really? Do you think so?”</p><p class="p3">If only that were the case. But if he could read her thoughts, there’d be no reason to build up a trusting relationship in the first place. Hard conversations were the price to pay for leaning on other people, he supposed.</p><p class="p3">The tea finally reached its peak temperature, and she poured the brew into her mismatched cups. Using a little spoon, she mixed in small amounts of honey from a cute little jar and presented him his cup with an expectant look.</p><p class="p3">“Tell me what you think.”</p><p class="p3">Taking the offering carefully, he took a sip, careful not to burn his tongue. It was good. Something he’d definitely want again. Certainly not had tasty as his favorite, but pleasant nevertheless. Spicy but sweet, its bite lessened by the honey.</p><p class="p3">“Excellent choice, Teach. Quick brew. What is it?”</p><p class="p3">“Ginger,” she spoke softly. “It’s my favorite. It was my father’s favorite too. He never said that, but I knew.”</p><p class="p3">She took her seat, cupping her own drink in front of her. Staring into the liquid. It made him think of earlier in the day when she was with Rhea. Had they spoken of Jeralt? About the day she was born?</p><p class="p3"><em>Questions for after. </em>He told himself. <em>After I ask about my own concerns.</em></p><p class="p3">Perhaps he had let his walls drop without thinking because Byleth was now staring at him with those sharp eyes.</p><p class="p3">“What’s wrong?”</p><p class="p3">“Nothing, Teach.” He shook his head at himself. “No – actually, I needed to get your thoughts on… on what’s going to happen when we find Solon. And Monica.”</p><p class="p3">He had to be honest. He had to open. Why was this so nerve-wracking?</p><p class="p3">But she already had done this for him. When she gave him the diary and answered his questions that night in the Cathedral.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Please. Hear me out.</em>
</p><p class="p3">“We need a plan. We can’t just kill them.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>UUGH I updated! Thanks for reading!</p><p>I wanted to give Claude a chapter of some inner conflict and having to realize he actually has to talk about his concerns with someone. This was hard to write for multiple reasons. But hopefully, the next chapter will be easier for me to get down. Also – Leonie's back on her horse, but whether or not she's gotten that B support with Byleth yet, you'll have to see to find out. Much love for Dimitri, who at this point is starting to suspect Edelgard (since in his route, he gets that dagger thrown at him for eavesdropping). </p><p>("I ain't been droppin' no eaves sir, honest!")</p><p>The title of this chapter is lyrics from the song Duvet by Boa. i.e., the OP for Serial Experiments Lain. It's sung from the perspective of a woman in a relationship with a man who's lying to her, or hiding something – which she can tell – and it's wearing her down. The lyrics just seemed perfect for Claude's thoughts in this chapter.</p><p>I know this year hasn't had a great start, but I hope you're all doing well regardless.</p><p>Stay safe &amp; stay well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I'm pouring my heart out in everything written...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Claude must fix a misunderstanding after confronting Byelth about her intentions for when they find her father's killers. What will they do once they're found? Afterward, Claude tries to implement some lessons he's learned in a discussion with Edelgard.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>Chapter 8</strong>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <strong>I'm pouring my heart out in everything written.<br/></strong>
  <strong>You're scared, you look soft, heart remains hidden.</strong>
</p>
<p class="p3">Byleth blinked once. Twice. The silence between the student and teacher began to drag on. Claude could see a slight line forming between her brows. Not from frustration. At least, he didn’t think so. It looked more like confusion. He half expected her to tilt her head and hold her chin like she always did when she was thinking over something. She didn’t. It was that stillness that made him feel tense.</p>
<p class="p3">“I know, Claude,” she finally spoke, slowly, “that to just cut them down shouldn’t be our only objective.”</p>
<p class="p3">Hope blossomed. He had been expecting to have to debate his reasoning more.</p>
<p class="p3">“That’s a relief, Teach–”</p>
<p class="p3">“Don’t misunderstand me.”</p>
<p class="p3">Her tone was sharp. Clipped even. It startled him out of the relaxed feeling that had begun to wash over him.</p>
<p class="p3">“If we – <em>when</em> we find them,” she continued, eyes hardening, “I don’t intend on letting them live. Not again.”</p>
<p class="p3">Dregs of panic began to cluster in his gut at the sudden shift in mood.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Does she think I’m implying–</em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><em>“Of course,</em> Teach.” The hard edge in his own voice was maybe uncalled for. But he was the slightest bit insulted that she would think he was asking her to spare the people who had killed her father. “I’m not saying that they don’t have what’s coming to them. I just– I…”</p>
<p class="p3">Of course, it wouldn’t be so easy to explain.</p>
<p class="p3">But she was waiting patiently for him to find his words, in this rare moment where they escaped him. Even if he could see now that she was, in fact, upset with him.</p>
<p class="p3">He could have chosen his words more carefully, he supposed.</p>
<p class="p3">“They’ll be gone. I <em>promise</em> you that.” He willed himself to match her cold stare. “But we need to remember, whatever is going on is bigger than just Solon and Monica. There’s the Flame Emperor and Death Knight to worry about as well. We need <em>information</em>, Teach. And this is just too much of a perfect chance to let it pass us by.”</p>
<p class="p3">When those sharp, blue eyes narrowed, and he knew he was missing something obvious. Something he was forgetting.</p>
<p class="p3">“Do you think I <em>forgot</em> about them? I know that, Claude! Everything they’ve done this year has obviously been planned to some extent.” Her gaze flicked to the Sword of the Creator, leaning up against the wall near her busy desk. “Even killing my father was just another step for them in getting what they want. They ran that day because they knew…”</p>
<p class="p3">Sadness began to overtake her expression and it wavered her words. Enough so that his own annoyance started to dissipate away.</p>
<p class="p3">“…They knew?”</p>
<p class="p3">“They knew I’d follow eventually.”</p>
<p class="p3">Byleth stood, walking to the sword. She picked it up and held it flat in both hands, staring at its strange, jagged ridges. It seemed to come alive at her touch.</p>
<p class="p3">“In Remire, Solon called me something. ‘The cursed Fell Star.’ He wanted to fight me. To ‘measure my power.’ And the Flame Emperor commented on this too. Wanting its power for himself.” She grimaced as it pulsed in her hands, and then placed it back against the wall, turning away from its fading light to look out her window. “I don’t know if they targeted my father to try to hurt me because I have this sword they want, or if it was for an entirely different reason. I want answers <em>too</em>, Claude. For me, <em>and</em> for you. But I want them dead as well.”</p>
<p class="p3">Suddenly, Claude felt guilt strike him. Like a punch in the gut. It wasn’t the same guilty sensation he had before when speaking with Dimitri. Rather, it was guilt over the fact that a part of him had actually believed Byleth would be so blind-sighted by grief that she wouldn’t want answers as well. The<em> whys</em>.</p>
<p class="p3">She wasn’t a fool, but he inadvertently treated her like one by assuming she hadn’t already thought this over. As if she hadn’t been snooping in Jeralt’s office for the answers he never gave her. As if she hadn’t confronted Rhea earlier in the day.</p>
<p class="p3">“We can get both,” he blurted, standing to join her. Out the window, the sun was now below the horizon, and the stars were beginning to wink into view. “That’s all I wanted to talk about, you know? I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I guess I… overthought some stuff, and thought that you might just be…”</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Be what?</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">He couldn’t help but think of how Lorenz had acted right after Jeralt was killed. Reprimanding Claude that it was foolish to believe Byleth could simply be ready at the snap of the fingers to jump into action. That she would be too sad and distraught to think straight.</p>
<p class="p3">And what had he told Lorenz? That he was being dramatic. Because Byleth wasn’t a pushover. She was a seasoned mercenary. It would take some time to recover emotionally, sure, but she wouldn’t <em>lose</em> herself.</p>
<p class="p3">So why did he convince himself that she’d be too emotional to try to get intel? The jump in his own logic made him feel dull.</p>
<p class="p3">“I’m sorry, Teach.” It was all he could think to say at the moment.</p>
<p class="p3">“Me too,” she mumbled, still not looking at him. “I shouldn’t have gotten angry like that. I know you’re just trying to stay on task. I just… don’t know why you’d think I would kill them without a second thought. After all I’ve told you. After our <em>promise.</em>”</p>
<p class="p3">His heart jumped at the memory.</p>
<p class="p3">“I haven’t forgotten,” she continued, hurt underlying her words. “Discovering Solon and the Flame Emperor’s main objective is something you’re after. I want to figure that out too, and I want to help you, Claude. In your ambitions. Like you’ve been helping me with mine.”</p>
<p class="p3">He grimaced at her blunt, genuine words, guilt not subsiding. In contrast, his heart continued to thrum at the assurance she was giving him. A reminder that she was on his side.</p>
<p class="p3">“I know. Not thinking that you would… it was just dumb logic on my part. Truthfully.”</p>
<p class="p3">“It was.” She elbowed him gently.</p>
<p class="p3">Claude couldn’t help but smile at that. Just a bit. Glad that this little spat hadn’t evolved into something worse.</p>
<p class="p3">“You see,” he drawled, “that big abyss in my mind bowl just sort of swallowed my reasoning skills whole for a minute there.”</p>
<p class="p3">“You need to work on your metaphors.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Really? Maybe.”</p>
<p class="p3">They let the silence take over again. But this time, it was comfortable. Distantly, Claude could hear the winter winds blowing through the trees with a low whistle. The sky continued to darken, and more stars popped into place.</p>
<p class="p3">Why <em>had</em> he overthought things?</p>
<p class="p3">He joked about his own short-sightedness, but was it really only that? Or maybe it was because navigating this sort of relationship was just… new and unfamiliar. Claude wasn’t used to sharing his schemes and worries with others, because there had never been anybody he could trust enough to do so with.</p>
<p class="p4"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p>
<p class="p4"> </p>
<p class="p3">With clarity, he realized why. Why he had convinced himself Byelth would be too absorbed in her own goal for revenge to think of anything else, like the answers he wanted. That they <em>both</em> wanted.</p>
<p class="p3">A lapse of trust.</p>
<p class="p3">He wasn’t used to trusting like this. Reliance and faith in others was a choice, after all. Not just simply a feeling, like he had been allowing it to be. He had let his own history of not relying on or believing in others taint this budding partnership. Making him forget to trust in and speak to his very best friend. The woman he loved, even.</p>
<p class="p3">Uncaring if it caught her attention or not, he dragged his hands down his face and groaned.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Idiot. She made the choice to trust me, and here I am, not doing the same.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">Claude had thought he had been doing something brave by opening up about his concerns on how she might handle the mission. In reality, that had been a subconscious guise, and he had just been perceiving her skeptically. Disbelieving in his gut that she would honesty be on his side. Not trusting her to take into account his own goals while aiming for her own.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Idiot.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">As he continued to scrub his face, he felt Byleth’s hand come up to pat his upper back, like he was a distraught horse who needed to be calmed down.</p>
<p class="p3">“Are you okay?”</p>
<p class="p3">“I’m embarrassed!” he admitted loudly, remembering a bit too late that Byelth had neighbors just like him. Hopefully, Dedue was either out or a heavy sleeper. He continued more quietly, “I haven’t forgotten our promise either. I just… didn’t take into account that you were thinking of my ambitions. Since you know, this past month hasn’t exactly been kind to you.”</p>
<p class="p3">She made a sour face at that. “I suppose that’s fair.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Maybe, but I wasn’t fair either. I’m not used to being partners in crime with others, you know?”</p>
<p class="p3">Another face, but this one was more disbelieving. “Hilda would be heartbroken to hear that.”</p>
<p class="p3">At her little joke, he laughed. And he sighed. Those negging, distrustful feelings that had been building up inside his core were dispelled with every breath he blew out, drew in, and let out again.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Idiot.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">He had worked himself up over nothing. For once, his nature to not trust in others felt more like a bane than a boon.</p>
<p class="p3">Byleth’s hand continued to pat at his back between his shoulder blades. A greedier part of him wished she would rub him soothingly instead of just tapping him with her palm as though she was trying to dislodge something from his throat, but he kept that to himself.</p>
<p class="p3">“What do you suggest we do? When we find them, I mean,” he asked after a bit, ready to move on from his own embarrassment.</p>
<p class="p3">“Inevitably, we’ll fight,” she said, dropping her hand, “but Solon is the type to talk when he’s underestimating his opponent. While he didn’t disclose that much, he still revealed some information in Remire.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Like his true identity? And how he sees us as worthless beasts? And how he wanted Flayn’s blood alongside the Flame Emperor?”</p>
<p class="p3">“Exactly. And Monica… well,” she shrugged a shoulder, “I’ll <em>make</em> her talk.”</p>
<p class="p3">A chill ran up his spine at the authority in her tone, and the sensation tickled him enough that he barked out a laugh again.</p>
<p class="p3">“To be honest? I believe that. Though that’s not really a full-proof plan, Teach.”</p>
<p class="p3">Byleth turned away from the window to look up at him. No longer angry. Though she did look tired now.</p>
<p class="p3">“What would you suggest then, House Leader?”</p>
<p class="p3">“Relying on my schemes, are you?” Gingerly, he took her by the arm to guide her back to the table. They both sat down in their respective chairs, wrapping the blankets they had given each other around their shoulders. “To be honest, your ideas are as good as mine. It only occurred to me today that we haven’t really gone over what the plan should be.” As much as he believed in her, he knew now that he actually had to make the effort to <em>speak</em> these things out. Lest he work himself into a frenzy again. “Though, to be fair to ourselves, we don’t know anything about where we’ll find them or when. And, you know… Busy month.”</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Not easy to plan for battle around a funeral and the grieving period.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">“We also don’t know how much back up they’ll bring. Or if they’ll summon more demonic beasts,” she offered, picking up her now room temperature cup of tea. “Or if they’re luring us into a trap.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Luring <em>you</em>, specifically,” he said, copying her and picking up his teacup. He took a sip, disappointed that the warmth of the drink was already gone. “You made a point earlier. They don’t like you or your ability to wield the Sword of the Creator. No doubt, that annoyance has to do with it being a relic of the Church. Which you’re working for.”</p>
<p class="p3">She nodded, that line between her brow forming again. This time she did tilt her head and hold her chin.</p>
<p class="p3">“Do you think they…”</p>
<p class="p3">Byleth turned, her eyes focusing on the empty space towards her bed. Claude followed her line of sight, unsure of what she was looking at. The only thing on her bed was her thin blanket and a single pillow. But she looked… so alert. Staring at nothing.</p>
<p class="p3">“Teach?”</p>
<p class="p3">She hummed and nodded, but not at him, and only after another beat did she turn to meet his eyes again.</p>
<p class="p3">“It’s strange that they tried to steal the sword initially. Considering it can’t be wielded without the Crest of Flames. And people who use relics too long without the required crests…”</p>
<p class="p3">“Become demonic beasts…” How could they ever forget what happened to Miklan. To Aelfric.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>But then…</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">“Do you think,” he continued, “they have somebody on their side that can wield the sword? A long-distance, unfound relative to Nemesis?”</p>
<p class="p3">“Maybe… or maybe they need it for another reason.” She frowned, directing her concentrated stare at the teapot on the table. “Perhaps they have the crest stone somehow, and they want to put it back where it belongs.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Could be,” Claude shrugged, “but they’d still need someone with a compatible crest for it to truly function.”</p>
<p class="p3">He reached out to trace the curve of the teapot’s handle. That greedy part of him rearing its head again, wanting to simply have her eyes on him. He watched her eyes follow his finger as it dipped around the edge.</p>
<p class="p3">Then, his own words caught up to him, and suddenly, he was afraid.</p>
<p class="p3">Afraid that they might want Byleth alongside the Sword of the Creator. That they might be luring her out to steal her away.</p>
<p class="p3">But almost as immediately the fear hit him, he waved the concern away. As though Byleth would ever let anyone in the throes of battle close enough to herself to kidnap her. She wasn’t called the Ashen Demon for nothing. Even if she hated that nickname.</p>
<p class="p3">Besides, the Golden Deer would be there to prevent anyone from even considering taking her away. Where would they be without their mysterious teacher?</p>
<p class="p3">Still though, he shouldn’t leave this thought unsaid.</p>
<p class="p3">“We’ll have your back, Teach, just in case they intend on trying to pilfer the sword, or pilfer you for that matter. Since, you know. <em>Somehow</em>, you’re able to wield it. Would hate for you to end up on the opposite side of the battlefield from me.”</p>
<p class="p3">She nearly scoffed. “As though I’d give them the opportunity.”</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Damn. Maybe she can read my mind.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">Keeping that thought to himself, he grinned instead, “That’s the fighting spirit!”</p>
<p class="p3">A small smile rose on her lips as well. She reached out a finger to tap at his, still tracing the porcelain between them.</p>
<p class="p3">“These are all important things to keep in mind for when we do find them. But like you said, we don’t know when or where we’ll be fighting, so we’ll need to rely on skill and adaptability. And when the opportunities present themselves in battle, we’ll investigate.”</p>
<p class="p3">She pulled back in her pointer finger, only to offer him her pinky.</p>
<p class="p3">“I promise. Let’s get what we both want.”</p>
<p class="p3">Claude’s heart jumped pleasantly. He could feel his face flushing.</p>
<p class="p3">It was another promise. And a pinky promise, too. A sweet gesture he never thought would get such a rise out of him. But this was <em>Byleth</em> doing it.</p>
<p class="p3">So of course it would.</p>
<p class="p3">Her lantern’s flame brightened her face, and the moon shining through her window backlit her frame. She looked like she was glowing. Like a beautiful star. Especially with her eyes shining so brightly in his direction.</p>
<p class="p3">He hooked his pinky around hers, noting the difference in size. In temperature. They linked together so perfectly.</p>
<p class="p3">“It’s a promise, Teach.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Good.”</p>
<p class="p3">Their digits squeezed against each other lightly, and after a moment, they slid away, back to their respective sides of the table.</p>
<p class="p3">“Say Teach,” Claude began, not wanting their time together to be over, “if we’re done reviewing our very limited game plan, do you mind if I ask you about earlier today?”</p>
<p class="p3">“About Rhea?” Byleth asked back, once again looking into her tea.</p>
<p class="p3">“Hit the nail right on the head. Did she invite you out today? Or…”</p>
<p class="p3">“No. I requested the time to chat with her. I wanted the discussion to be somewhere private, but…” she scratched at the rim of her cup. “I didn’t want to have our meeting in her quarters. Or mine for that matter. I suppose I didn’t want to be behind closed doors with her.”</p>
<p class="p3">She spoke softly, as though she was admitting something embarrassing. As though she was being silly somehow, confessing that Rhea made her uncomfortable.</p>
<p class="p3">Like he could blame her.</p>
<p class="p3">“Well you held your own pretty well, I would say,” he said, kicking out his foot so he could tap his boot against hers. “At least from what I saw when his Highness and I interrupted you two. You had your tactical game face on. If you were feeling uneasy, you sure had me fooled.”</p>
<p class="p3">Byleth squared her shoulders and looked up with a half-hearted glare. “I didn’t say I was uneasy. Just… a little bit uncomfortable. Maybe.”</p>
<p class="p3">He laughed. “Uneasy? Uncomfortable? What’s the difference?”</p>
<p class="p3">Her foot kicked his, which only made him laugh again. That seemed to shake her out of her need to uphold her pride. A long, tired sigh escaped through her nose, and she sagged into her chair.</p>
<p class="p3">“Rhea puts me on edge,” she finally admitted. “She’s obviously hiding so much from me, but when I try to get answers, she seems to know just what to say to make me feel like I can’t get steady footing.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Well, were you upfront with your questions?” Claude leaned on the table, pushing away his now cold cup and the teapot obstructing some of his view. “What did you ask?”</p>
<p class="p3">She sagged down further, the slight pout on her lips making him smirk. He wasn’t used to seeing her like this. Perhaps the atmosphere called for a certain amount of somberness that he wasn’t bringing to the table, considering this was about a serious discussion on serious things.</p>
<p class="p3">Yet her moping face was kinda cute.</p>
<p class="p3">“I asked if she knew why I could wield the Sword of the Creator, and she responded that it was a gift from the Goddess. I asked how she knew my mother, and she responded that she was like family to her. No further clarification before she tried changing the subject. I asked if my mother also had the Crest of Flames. And by that point, she was done humoring me, and told me I’d understand everything in <em>‘due time.’</em> I asked when that time would come, and she said that was up to me. Then she left.”</p>
<p class="p3">Byleth let go of her cup so she could tighten the blanket around her shoulders, huffing indignantly in a way Claude had never heard from her before.</p>
<p class="p3">“The answer is always, ‘later, eventually, soon, not now, you’ll see.’ Is it any wonder I don’t know anything about myself when the people who know me best never tell me anything?”</p>
<p class="p3">He hummed sympathetically, although he could hardly relate. From the moment he could understand his surroundings, he was able to understand himself. It had always been him keeping secrets from others, not the other way around.</p>
<p class="p3">“So what you’re saying is you made no progress, huh?”</p>
<p class="p3">“Not a hair’s width.” She sagged down further.</p>
<p class="p3">A teasing remark about her pouting rested on his tongue, but before it could come out, she looked up again. Her eyes piercing his. There was a weight there that made him clamp down on his joking words.</p>
<p class="p3">“I appreciate you, Claude. Trying to help with all this. You don’t have to. But here you are anyways, sorting through this mess with me.” Her hand slid across the table again to pat at his. “You’re a good man. A good friend.”</p>
<p class="p3">Well, how could he possibly make a joke now?</p>
<p class="p3">“You know,” he said, recognizing he was about to say something that could possibly ruin this little moment. But he had to be honest, “figuring out who you are, and having you fight alongside me. Some of that is for my own benefit. A lot of it, actually.”</p>
<p class="p3">Mentally, he braced himself. He just<em> had </em>to be open with his thoughts around her. This trust between them felt like a double-edged sword sometimes. She unveiled something tender, and he responded to that delicate admission like a hammer to glass.</p>
<p class="p3">Romance was dead.</p>
<p class="p3">At least he thought it was until she smiled at his words. “I know, Claude. That’s okay. We need to use each other’s strengths for our own benefit sometimes. That’s what partners do. Do I need to teach you that lesson?”</p>
<p class="p3">Feelings of regret floated away, and he was left smiling himself. “Maybe you do. I think I could’ve possibly slept through that lesson. I’d hate to fail.”</p>
<p class="p3">Her hand left his and she sat up straight. Putting on her Teach face.</p>
<p class="p3">“If you used me to win a fight, I’d simply expect you to use your brains to help me solve a puzzle. If you took a blow for me in battle, you’d expect me to use that distraction to gain the upper hand, and kill the opponent. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. You use me, I use you. We don’t have to ask ahead of time. Because we choose who to rely on.”</p>
<p class="p3">Right. Trust was a choice.</p>
<p class="p3">He had to stop thinking that he was using her. This partnership wasn’t one way. Byleth was smart enough to make her own decisions, and she was deciding to go along with his schemes.</p>
<p class="p3">“So what you’re saying is,” he smirked, his joking mood returning, “you’re expecting me to go around doing favors for you? And I’m supposed to just <em>expect </em>you to do the same for me?”</p>
<p class="p3">Byleth grinned back. “You already are, aren’t you? I didn’t ask you to spy on the Knights for me.”</p>
<p class="p3">His hands flew to his chest, clutching his shirt in mock distress. “Ah! You got me! What a fool I am! Laboring so hard for a woman who pays me back in tea parties!”</p>
<p class="p3">The laugh that left her was light and airy. It almost dizzied him with its charm.</p>
<p class="p3">“Don’t worry, Duke Riegan,” she chuckled. “I’ve heard the Sword of the Creator is mighty enough to cut through mountains.”</p>
<p class="p3">Claude’s heart nearly jumped out of his body. <em>He</em> had been the one to tell her that.</p>
<p class="p3">“So long as we continue to uphold our promise to each other, that sword’s power is at your disposable.”</p>
<p class="p3">“But, Teach,” he wheezed, thrown off by the earnest strain in his own voice, “I can’t use it.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Have you not learned the lesson?” Her head tilted to the side. A fond sparkle in her eyes. “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. Just point me to where you need the blade to cut.”</p>
<p class="p3">Without thinking, Claude reached his hand over the table to pat at hers.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">“I’ll trust you to know when I need it, Teach.”</p>
<p class="p4"> </p>
<p class="p4"> </p>
<p class="p5">◊◊◊</p>
<p class="p6"> </p>
<p class="p6"> </p>
<p class="p3">Later that week, Claude found himself in the mess hall, tailing some Knights who had just gotten back from scouting. The men were mostly complaining about sore feet and empty stomachs. But maybe, once they got some food in them, they would drop some tidbits on where they had come from. So Claude could cross out another area of interest on his note-ridden map tucked away in his room.</p>
<p class="p3">Just as he sat down a few benches away from the men though, his attention was immediately drawn away towards the corner of the room. Standing by herself and out of the sights of Hubert for once, was Edelgard. Looking out a window at the cloudy sky above. She looked deep in thought, her arms crossed tightly around herself and her face utterly blank.</p>
<p class="p3">Distantly, it made him think of Byleth’s own blank-faced look, and an unexpected pang of pity jostled his average feelings for the girl.</p>
<p class="p3">It wasn’t like he <em>hated</em> her. Certainly, they could never quite get along. And surely, he teased her more than once for his own ill-intended reasons. Edelgard also had no issue in belittling him and the prince in that haughty manner of hers.</p>
<p class="p3">But maybe, just like himself, she had her reasons for barricading herself behind a fortress wall, keeping her secrets under lock and key, and not letting anyone close enough to come inside and see her without her mask on.</p>
<p class="p3">One day, she <em>would</em> be Emperor. And how far would he get in his pipe-dream if the ruler of one-third of Fódlan dismissed him as a lackadaisical schemer? Probably not very far. If borders were to fall, he’d have to begin extending an olive branch eventually. Either to win her as a friend or at least get close enough to set her on his board as a pawn.</p>
<p class="p3">Earlier in the year, it wouldn’t have even occurred to him to win her favor in friendship rather than manipulation. But if Byleth’s faith in him was any proof, then friendship seemed to be the more preferred method.</p>
<p class="p3">If only he could’ve understood that earlier in the year.</p>
<p class="p3">Forgetting the task of eavesdropping on the Knights who were now just silently stuffing their faces, Claude stood from the bench and strolled to Edelgard’s corner. Not wanting to startle her, he purposefully strode into her periphery and leaned against the opposite side of the window, mirroring her position and crossing his arms.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Here goes whatever.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">“Afternoon, Edelgard.”</p>
<p class="p3">Without so much as a hello, the small girl’s ever-evaluating eyes flicked to him, her eyebrow lifting skeptically. Arms tightening around herself.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>Sheesh. I offer a plain greeting, and she’s still put on edge.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">“Did you need something, Claude?” she asked impatiently, turning to stare back out at the heavy clouds above.</p>
<p class="p3">“Just wanted to have a chat. Listen…” forcibly, he let his own arms drop, relaxing his shoulders and standing a bit straighter, “I know that throughout the school year, we haven’t exactly been best pals, but I’d like to rectify that in a way. Both of us have reasons for being careful with who we associate with, but as the future leaders of this continent, we should at least like another enough to rely on each other dependably. To cooperate.”</p>
<p class="p3">Audibly, she scoffed. “To cooperate. <em>Or</em>, to pry into my business.”</p>
<p class="p3">Her incredulous tone and the implications of her words actually <em>stung</em>. For once, that really wasn’t what he was aiming for.</p>
<p class="p3">“No, actually,” he replied. “I mean what I said, Edelgard. Don’t get me wrong, I would <em>love</em> to know what’s going on in that head of yours. Like, a lot. But I’d also like to start over. We don’t have to talk about secrets or the future or politics. You and I both know that eventually, we’ll have to meet in the middle. That begins with us actually being able to have conversations that don’t end in arguments or backtalk.”</p>
<p class="p3">Her eyes widened a bit at his words. It was her turn to drop her arms, one hand coming up to rest on her hip.</p>
<p class="p3">She blinked, once, twice, before asking, “Did the Professor put you up to this?”</p>
<p class="p3">“What?” Well, that wasn’t any kind of response he was expecting. “No. I don’t know what you’re mentioning Teach for.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Because,” her glare became pointed like a dagger, “I spoke with her earlier in the week. I took your advice from our tea party to heart, and told her about… my concerns. About my perceived closeness with Monica. About wanting to help her. And she…” those sharp eyes softened, "she didn’t blame me at all. It was just as you said. Actually, she asked me if<em> I</em> was alright.”</p>
<p class="p3">Yeah, that sounded like Byleth. But–</p>
<p class="p3">“Okay? You’re gonna have to spell some things out for me, because I don’t see how that has to do with what I approached you for.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Will you be patient?” she snapped. “I told her I was fine. But then she apologized on <em>your</em> behalf for the way you blatantly mocked me last month during dance practice.”</p>
<p class="p3">That callback almost made him smirk. Almost. Instead, he feigned embarrassment.</p>
<p class="p3">“Aww man, did she really?”</p>
<p class="p3">“Yes.” She scowled. “She told me you were only… teasing. And that you teased people you consider to be your friends.”</p>
<p class="p3">Oh? <em>Oh.</em> He did tell her that once, didn’t he? Well, that <em>was</em> true. He teased the Golden Deer all the time. His enemies? He mocked them. That was the difference.</p>
<p class="p3">But had he been teasing Edelgard? Or mocking her?</p>
<p class="p3">The princess crossed her arms again and continued, “I told the Professor you had a lot to learn about expressing yourself then. Because you’ve only ever gotten on my nerves. I guess I supposed, she spoke to you about that…”</p>
<p class="p3">“So then,” Claude nodded, “You thought she gave me a lecture on proper conduct, and me approaching you just now was the aftermath of that? Sorry princess, but she never told me about your little conversation. Teach keeps her student-teacher meetings confidential.” He raised his hands between them to show his empty hands, physically and metaphorically. “I came to you myself.”</p>
<p class="p3">For some reason, the girl frowned. “I see.”</p>
<p class="p3">“Are we square?” Claude asked. “Because if so, I’d like to reiterate that I’d like us to start clean. Maybe we could have tea again with Dimitri. Talk about how we liked the school year. Any topic you want. You know, royal bonding time?”</p>
<p class="p3">She only frowned deeper. “I’m afraid… there’s no time in the near future for me to be fraternizing. Do you remember that time we ran into each other one late night in the library?”</p>
<p class="p3">He did. Somehow, that seemed like ages ago.</p>
<p class="p3">“You mean that time you were trying to milk me for <em>my</em> secrets?” he joked with a wink.</p>
<p class="p3">Rather than retaliating like he was expecting, Edelgard sighed. “I told you that I had big plans. You said the same. I have a lot I need to be focusing on right now. Gaining friends is not one of those priorities.”</p>
<p class="p3">Claude’s throat tightened, his earnest words refusing to sputter out.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>I was like that too before. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Working together towards our dreams is the surefire way to see a better world.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">The princess’ eyes flashed, a calculating glint in her eyes. “Would you tell me Claude, the truth behind your inheritance? Where you’re<em> actually</em> from?”</p>
<p class="p3">Almost immediately, Claude felt his walls come up tenfold, and a scornful grin pulled up his lips. Any talk of friendship burning up in smoke.</p>
<p class="p3">“There’s nothing to tell.”</p>
<p class="p3">Again, she scoffed. “I can only have allies whom I can trust with everything. I’m sure that’s something you could understand better than most.”</p>
<p class="p3">With that, she turned on her heel and stalked off. Leaving Claude to silently fume to himself, unbenounced to everyone else in the mess hall.</p>
<p class="p3">Yes. He could understand that better than most. But he also understood that the only way for somebody to tell you their secrets was if they trusted you enough first.</p>
<p class="p3">And the only way they could trust you was if you were friends first.</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em>It doesn’t work the other way around.</em>
</p>
<p class="p3">He had hoped to mend things between himself and Edelgard, but it seemed that day just wasn’t today.</p>
<p class="p3"> </p>
<p class="p3"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>👁👄👁Hello... and thanks for reading!</p>
<p>Super sorry these updates keep taking so long. Lots of stress from work plus medical issues have been weighing me down. But your new chapter has arrived! Just in time for V-day!</p>
<p>This one was harder to write than I initially thought it would be. I never wanted to make Claude and Byleth fight per se, since I wanted to show that they could hash things out effectively as a team. I think Claude's 'lapse in trust' issue is relatable – it's easy to overthink an issue to the point you start to imagine everybody is against you (at least for me? lol). I wouldn't put it past him if he had social anxiety like this. Also, Edelgard 😩. I really like exploring her dynamic with Claude, where trust between them just seems like it can't exist.</p>
<p>The title of this chapter is lyrics from the song Think Different by Substantial/Nujabes, which genius dot com summarizes as "Substantial compares himself to what other rappers do," lol. Basically, it's the rapper staying an honest good influence while 'the other guy' is incapable of being that real. Like two people in this chapter.</p>
<p>Happy Valentine's people ~❤️</p>
<p>Stay safe &amp; stay well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. On a cold winter morning...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Solon and Monica finally make their presence known, and the Golden Deer are rallied to face their foes for Byleth, Leonie, and Claude's desires.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <strong>Chapter 9</strong>
</p><p class="p1">
  <strong>On a cold winter morning</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>In the time before the light</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>In flames of Death's eternal reign</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>We ride towards the fight</strong>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">The Guardian Moon was coming close to its end. Claude noted that fact in the afternoon of the 30th, as he strolled by the stables with a horse blanket slung over his shoulder. The sky was bright as the sun reached its apex, but the temperature remained cold. He shivered.</p><p class="p3">Almost all of the Knights had been sent out to search for Solon. There was, as the Gatekeeper so often liked to remark, nothing to report. For a week now, there had been nothing. Waiting around was starting to become tiresome. And a bit worrisome. But there was no benefit in losing hope.</p><p class="p3">At least the extra time allowed for the Deer to be even more ready for when the fight would ensue. And while they waited, there were always chores to do as well. Like stable duty.</p><p class="p3">“Are you cold, Dorte?” Marianne asked her favorite steed.</p><p class="p3">Gently, she stroked his snout, and the mount snorted as though he was answering her question. Claude approached with the blanket and put on an easy-going smile.</p><p class="p3">“Got this from the shed just for you, buddy,” he greeted, reaching out as well to pet his neck. “Would hate for you to catch a horse cold.”</p><p class="p3">Quietly, Marianne giggled behind her hand. It was that sort of laugh a poet might describe as sounding like distant bells. A nice sound that Claude felt made his smile feel a bit more real.</p><p class="p3">“I think it would just be called, ‘a cold,’ Claude,” she said softly. “There’s no such thing as a ‘horse cold.’”</p><p class="p3">“Are you sure? Considering Dorte’s diet, I think he might be susceptible to catching <em>hay fever</em>.”</p><p class="p3">She hid another shy smile behind her palm, ducking her head. “Oh. That was terrible.”</p><p class="p3">“Eh,” he shrugged and began to shake out the blanket. “I’m still working on my animal jokes. At least Dorte thought it was funny. Right, buddy?”</p><p class="p3">The steed merely flicked his tail, patiently waiting to be serviced.</p><p class="p3">“Yikes. Tough crowd.”</p><p class="p3">“Don’t worry,” Marianne carefully took one side of the blanket, and together they maneuvered it over the horse’s back. “He likes you.”</p><p class="p3">“Well, I’ll have to believe that if it’s coming from you, Marianne. You’re his favorite, after all.”</p><p class="p3">“Oh! Well…” she hid her eyes under her messy bangs. “Th-that might be a stretch.”</p><p class="p3">Claude shook his head but held his tongue. Marianne was often tough to interact with. Even well-meaning compliments could fluster her to the point where she went on the defensive. Which would only spiral into her putting herself down.</p><p class="p3">He didn’t want to ruin the pleasant atmosphere. And he didn’t want to watch her run off to be alone like Edelgard had done the week prior.</p><p class="p3">Maybe things couldn’t work out between him and the princess. But he had the Deer at least. People he could actually term as his friends. People who were scarily becoming more and more important to him.</p><p class="p3">She remained predictably silent after that, and they spent the next few minutes securing the blanket’s straps in place before guiding the mount back into his stable. Done with their final chore, they latched the gate closed, and simultaneously sighed.</p><p class="p3">“A hard day’s work earns a well-deserved meal. Wouldn’t you say, Marianne?” Claude asked, to which she timidly nodded. “How ‘bout we go grab some grub then?”</p><p class="p3">Just as he turned on his heel, ready to guide them to the mess hall around the corner, a voice rang out across the stable grounds.</p><p class="p3">“CLAUDE!”</p><p class="p3">Turning once more, he saw Anna barreling towards him. A wide smile on her face. Nimbly, she halted before him and gave a mock salute.</p><p class="p3">“News! <em>Good</em> news! Your targets have been spotted. And the Knights who just returned gave me <em>all</em> the juicy details.” She swung her head to look at Marianne, who jumped at the merchant’s palpable exuberance. “Better get your ride back out girly. It’s time to saddle up for battle!”</p><p class="p3">“Oh! I um– I don’t–!”</p><p class="p3">Claude reached out to put a hand on the healer’s shoulder, both to calm her and to stabilize himself.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>It’s about time.</em>
</p><p class="p3">“Marianne. Please, go find Lorenz. Have him collect the Deer. Tell him we’re moving out for this moon’s mission.”</p><p class="p3">“O-of course! I mean– I’ll try!”</p><p class="p3">She took off towards the gardens, turning urgently around the corner. The clinking noise of coins brought Claude’s attention back to Anna, who was shaking a coin purse by its strings, a cat-like smile on her face.</p><p class="p3">“Lucky you. This news came just before your monthly fee for my services was about to expire.”</p><p class="p3">He felt himself smile as well. “Time is money, Anna. Now, care to share all those juicy details in a brief summary?”</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">Claude couldn’t help but think that he was having a lucky sort of day. He had been on his way to the mess hall, expecting Byleth to be enjoying a mid-day meal. But as he entered the Entrance Hall, he immediately saw her teal head of hair bouncing down the steps, straight towards where he needed her to be.</p><p class="p3">“Teach!” he called out to her.</p><p class="p3">Pausing at the bottom of the stairs, Byleth turned and waited, watching Claude skip steps downward before landing right next to her.</p><p class="p3">“Tomas…” he began, not wanting to waste time, “I mean… Solon and his lackeys. Their whereabouts have been discovered. Apparently, they're lurking in the Sealed Forest, not too far from the monastery.” Her eyes widened at his words, her fists clenching at her sides. “Rhea has called back all of the knights who were out searching to round them up. Seems like it could take some time for them to make it back here… but she didn't ask for our help.”</p><p class="p3">Of course she hadn’t. He had expected that much along with Lorenz. Still though, he could see a shadow of surprise pass on Byleth’s face.</p><p class="p3">“Why keep it a secret?” she asked.</p><p class="p3"><em>Is it not obvious? </em>Claude almost wanted to groan.</p><p class="p3">“Perhaps to prevent you from running headfirst toward revenge?” he offered. “It's only natural that you would leap at the chance for it. Anyone would. And…” he stepped closer, “you know. How she <em>feels </em>about you.”</p><p class="p3">Byleth opened her mouth to respond, but before any words came out, the quick, harsh sound of heels marching down the stairs cut her off.</p><p class="p3">“No. I will not allow it.” The Archbishop stopped before them, along with Seteth and an accompanying Knight.</p><p class="p3">Rhea looked cross, like a perturbed mother.</p><p class="p3">“This discovery comes just when the knights are at their busiest,” Seteth said, stepping between Rhea and Byleth. “It is all too likely that our foes revealed themselves to lure you out there.”</p><p class="p3">Yeah, that was probably the case. Byleth had been correct; Solon was trying to manipulate her. Killing her father for a greater purpose. Because of her one-of-a-kind relic and crest. Knowing she would want revenge.</p><p class="p3">But Solon’s plan was going to backfire. Perhaps the old man didn’t anticipate that they <em>wanted</em> a personal fight.</p><p class="p3">“They are the ones who took Jeralt from you…” Seteth continued, “I know how you must despise them, but I must ask you to rein in your personal feelings for now.”</p><p class="p3">It was strange to see the advisor direct his antsy, protective energy at anybody other than Flayn. Claude’s eyebrow hiked up at the display.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Since when has this man been anything other than wary towards Teach?</em>
</p><p class="p3">But Byleth met his concern with rebellious vigor. “You can’t stop me.”</p><p class="p3">Her words were said with an edge. Demanding to be challenged. Her fire-filled eyes piercing Seteth before landing on Rhea as well.</p><p class="p3">“Please, Professor,” Rhea begged, dropping her own authoritative stance into something meant to be tender. “Do not act carelessly. I ask that you leave this to us. Losing you so soon after losing Jeralt would be unbearable.”</p><p class="p3">Claude could see from the way Byleth’s shoulders tensed that the Archbishop hit a sore spot, and he frowned. Rhea had a way of getting under her skin. But not in a malicious way. Rather, it was more complicated than that. Like how a child might hate their parent, but still care about how that parent perceives them.</p><p class="p3">Byleth knew Rhea was deceiving her in some ways. And yet, Rhea’s care rang as genuine. Even to Claude’s ears.</p><p class="p3">More speculation on that would have to come later though. He had to cut in now with the linchpin of his scheme.</p><p class="p3">“Listen, Rhea.” Seteth immediately shot him a look. “Erm, <em>Lady</em> Rhea. This move <em>is</em> the most strategic. The military strategy I'm devising will soon echo across Fódlan's history. I'm sure of it. Just think about it.”</p><p class="p3">Now he stepped forward, shoulder to shoulder with Byleth. He could see her curiously peering at him from his periphery.</p><p class="p3">“Most of the Knights are still far away, and we can't afford to have Seteth and friends abandon the monastery. So the only person who can take action now also happens to be our best commander. It's <em>Teach</em>, and wherever Teach leads, we'll follow.” He glanced at her face to see her eyes shining brightly up at him. “And since you've taught us that this sort of thing is always a possibility, we're already prepared for battle.”</p><p class="p3">Turning to the side, he pointed out the Entrance Hall doors. Sure enough, at the gates, were the Deer. Collected and geared up. Ready to head out. Lorenz corralling them together.</p><p class="p3">“We can buy the Knights more time,” Claude continued. “Not for revenge, but for a defensive attack on behalf of the monastery.”</p><p class="p3">There was a silent pause between the group for a moment. Rhea’s eyes narrowed as Seteth pinched his brow between his fingers.</p><p class="p3">A guilt-trip on dead relatives couldn’t beat plain and simple logic.</p><p class="p3">“Professor…” Rhea finally spoke. “Do you agree with this strategy?”</p><p class="p3">“I do,” she answered with a nod, without a hint of hesitation.</p><p class="p3">Claude felt a prideful swell in his chest.</p><p class="p3">Rhea sighed. “Understood. I will give you the order. Destroy the enemy that is hiding in the Sealed Forest…” The Archbishop put her hands together and closed her eyes. “You have the protection of the goddess on your side. Whatever happens, you shall overcome.”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Scheme, successful.</em>
</p><p class="p3">“We have our orders, Teach. Now all that's left is to pull out a miracle.”</p><p class="p3">But before they could leave, Seteth’s hand shot out like an arrow, grabbing onto Byleth’s shoulder.</p><p class="p3">“Please, Professor,” he bade her to stop, “if you are set on this mission, then I must ask that you have Flayn remain here.”</p><p class="p3">She looked at the hand on her shoulder.</p><p class="p3">“I thought we agreed that she is most safe under my watch.”</p><p class="p3">“We did. However, you will be confronting the very people who were after her blood!”</p><p class="p3">Byleth’s eyes became steely. A sudden wave of agitation radiating off of her like a miasma, so strong it made Claude bite the inside of his lip to keep from reacting.</p><p class="p3">“Flayn <em>knows</em> that. She<em> wanted</em> to join my class, despite that. And I will protect her. I will <em>always</em> protect her.” She turned around and began to march out the doors, leaving Seteth behind in a stunned silence. “Nobody will die under my watch. Never again<em>.</em>”</p><p class="p3">Said like a fact. Spoken with such honest conviction, it made Claude tremble. Just a bit.</p><p class="p3">Without sparing a glance back, he followed after his teacher.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">“The Sealed Forest is up ahead. Visibility is awful there, so everyone needs to be extra cautious.”</p><p class="p3">Their destination fast approaching, Claude precautioned his classmates while leading the group with Byleth. She had been silent since their departure. But that raw sensation of rage still permeated the air around her.</p><p class="p3">Well… not just her. Leonie as well.</p><p class="p3">The redhead rode on her mount, her lance gripped tightly in one hand. Her bow was slung on her back and her quiver hung at her side, with arrows adorned with yellow and orange fletching. Her jaw was clenched and her hardened gaze faced nothing but forward.</p><p class="p3">He could bet that the rest of the class could also feel the mounting tension. Hilda wormed her way beside Claude, and linked her arm through his, clinging somewhat. No doubt uncomfortable due to the atmosphere.</p><p class="p3">“You seem to know a lot about it,” she spoke conspiratorially, perhaps in an attempt to lighten the mood. “It is just a forest, isn't it?”</p><p class="p3">“Have you been there too?” he joked back.</p><p class="p3">Sort of joked. If Teach ever ordered him to write down all the places he had snooped through before, well, he would have to put the notoriously mysterious woods on the list.</p><p class="p3">Of course, Hilda picked up on the truth in his quip and stared flabbergasted at him. Byleth turned around just enough to narrow her eyes his way.</p><p class="p3">“Oh…” <em>oops.</em> “Never mind. Listen,” he unlinked his arm from Hilda’s to move ahead and turn around, halting the group in place.</p><p class="p3">They all stopped and waited for his words. Sensing this would be their last opportunity to go over their thin plan before needing to fight.</p><p class="p3">“Just like I told the Archbishop, this is not a war of vengeance. It's a riddle, so to speak. Those guys are undoubtedly planning something terrible. We need some kind of clue as to what. The attack on the Holy Mausoleum. That foul business in Remire. The Demonic Beasts at the chapel…”</p><p class="p3">Dimitri’s sullen form passed through the back of Claude’s mind. Hunched over a dagger with rage in his eyes.</p><p class="p3">And Byleth… crouched on the ground with Jeralt dead in her lap. The way she cried… How she shook in front of his grave.</p><p class="p3">It hurt to remember. But that was exactly why they needed answers. This wouldn’t <em>stop</em> with just bloodshed.</p><p class="p3">“It can't go on. We need to figure out their objective and stop them from achieving it. That's our mission.”</p><p class="p3">Lorenz nodded. “So, we have our mission now. We had better not fail.”</p><p class="p3">“It is a difficult task,” Lysithea huffed, “but we will succeed.”</p><p class="p3">Flayn smiled and stepped up to Byleth, grabbing her hand with both of hers.</p><p class="p3">“It is time to repay the kindness of the professor who saved my life!”</p><p class="p3">Bernadetta seemed to appear out of nowhere to grab her other hand.</p><p class="p3">“Professor… We'll avenge Jeralt for you, no matter what!”</p><p class="p3">Byleth managed to give a simple nod back to the two young girls.</p><p class="p3">“An enemy whose objective you don't understand is a frightening prospect,” mumbled Ignatz, looking at his feet.</p><p class="p3">The young artist nearly toppled forward when Raphael’s large hand clapped him on the back.</p><p class="p3">“We're gonna destroy 'em! It's our mission!”</p><p class="p3">Petra punched her fist against her palm. “I have readiness. Our enemies will be taking...we will take our enemies down!”</p><p class="p3">Dorothea grimaced at their volume before lightly touching the Brigid Princesses’ shoulder.</p><p class="p3">“Lower your voice. The enemy could be close!”</p><p class="p3">Much more quietly, Ashe spoke up as well. “Leave it to us, Professor. I'll give it my all.”</p><p class="p3">Everyone’s attention was then brought to the sound of slow trotting, as Leonie rode onward. “I will have my revenge, whatever it takes. On that, I will never budge.”</p><p class="p3">“Leonie…” Marianne called after her, causing her to pause.</p><p class="p3">The healer squeezed her eyes shut and fell into a praying position. For a second Claude thought she had lost her words, but then she spoke again. Louder, and more determined than Claude had ever heard her speak.</p><p class="p3">“You will have what you seek.”</p><p class="p3">That seemed to ignite the group’s fighting spirit. Ignatz lifted his head and adjusted his glasses. Both Linhardt and Hilda sighed, the latter hefting her axe over her shoulder. In the back, Felix grabbed the hilt of his blade and Mercedes nodded her head. Sylvain smirked.</p><p class="p3">Claude couldn’t fight back his own grin. “I'll admit, vengeance sounds pretty nice. But don't forget that we're here for information. Luckily, we can easily find what we're looking for while getting revenge for Jeralt.” He looked towards Byleth. “Right, Teach?”</p><p class="p3">Her blue eyes shone with many emotions. More than just rage. With determination, strength, and clarity.</p><p class="p3">“Yes. Let’s go.”</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p5">◊◊◊</p><p class="p6"> </p><p class="p3">The fight was going a little too well. Claude noted that fact as he shot down an enemy soldier with a well-aimed arrow to the throat. The last of their assailants. Even the demonic beasts they had brought for backup were made quick work of.</p><p class="p3">With his group, he ran through the west-side opening of a field – empty save for an old, stone pavilion in its center, missing a roof. He could see Byleth with her smaller group breaking through the east-side.</p><p class="p3">But Byleth didn’t stop like they planned to. And neither did Leonie.</p><p class="p3">Because Monica – Kronya, she said her real name was – was there, skirting the edge of the forest in her true form. Cackling and goading them on. Yes, this was the trap. The <em>lure</em>. To simply taunt them and wait for them to come her way. Deeper into the woods. Out into the open of the field.</p><p class="p3">Only a fool would be blind to this simple trick. And Claude didn’t think of his teacher, his friend, or himself as fools.</p><p class="p3">Yet, even so, he shouted at his group to hold position and darted towards Kronya right after them.</p><p class="p3">Leonie, on horseback, reached her first.</p><p class="p3">“Monica!” She shouted, shooting an arrow and piercing the woman in the leg.</p><p class="p3">Kronya let out a cry and tripped. But in one fluid motion, she ripped the arrow from her calf and rolled back onto her feet, spinning around to glare at the rider.</p><p class="p3">“You'll pay for what you've done,” Leonie said, coming to a stop.</p><p class="p3">“I told you!” The bladed shapeshifter stomped her foot like a child, despite her injury. “I am not Monica, I am Kronya! Do not call me by that fake name!”</p><p class="p3">Within a second, Leonie had a new arrow notched and aimed at her head.</p><p class="p3">“I don't <em>care</em> what you're called. I don't care if it takes my last breath. I'll <em>kill</em> you.”</p><p class="p3">“Please! My powers are beyond your comprehension. You're just a filthy worm!”</p><p class="p3">With that, the arrow was sent flying, closely followed by another one, and another, and another. Only for them all to be deflected by Kronya’s large, curved sword. Leonie continued to shoot while riding forward, forcing her target to continue to parry her arrows as she got closer.</p><p class="p3">But the onslaught didn’t just give an advantage to Leonie. Meanwhile, Claude circled around Kronya’s blindspot on one side as Byleth did the same on her other side. They were in step with each other, as though they were dancing.</p><p class="p3">He quickly dismissed that thought.</p><p class="p3">Once close enough, and surely out of arrows by this point, Leonie slung back her bow and grabbed for her lance, riding full speed with the tip aimed for Kronya’s heart. But the shapeshifter was agile. She sidestepped last second and twirled on her toes, slashing at the flank of Leonie’s mount.</p><p class="p3">The steed, with a gash now lining his upper back leg, cried and picked up his pace in a panic. Leonie cursed loudly, pulling the reigns to force her horse to calm down and turn. Kronya was now crouching in position, readying a sprint to cut again.</p><p class="p3">Claude wouldn’t give her that opportunity. He let loose his own arrow, which hit the shapeshifter deep in her thigh.</p><p class="p3">“AAAUGH!” Kronya shrieked, her head snapping straight to the House Leader. “You craven <em>beast</em>!”</p><p class="p3">It was the way she said it that made Claude’s blood boil. Dark memories of people from his home calling him a <em>‘coward’</em> and <em>‘mutt’</em> sprung forward, and he was forced to swallow them down like bile.</p><p class="p3">With lightning-quick reflexes, he notched another arrow and aimed for her head. He made the motion as though he was about to let it go. Predictably, Kronya flinched, her sword flying up to protect her neck and skull. But as she moved, he took that split second to aim downward, and shot at her other leg. Aiming straight at her ankle.</p><p class="p3">“YAAUGH!” she screamed again as it hit.</p><p class="p3">And for a moment, he thought he downed her.</p><p class="p3">But then, with a heavy breath, she pulled both the arrows from her legs. Like it was no trouble at all. Even as blood gushed from her wounds. She stood back up and jumped in place with a crooked smile.</p><p class="p3">“Oh, sooo close to my Achilles tendon!” she laughed mockingly, balancing on that leg for good measure. “But not quite there! You’ll have to be more clever than that you shit-eating brat!”</p><p class="p3">A glowing sword shone behind her and Claude smirked.</p><p class="p3">“Is that so?”</p><p class="p3">Kronya realized too late what was happening when the Sword of the Creator whipped around her injured shin. From behind her, Byleth pulled, and Kronya’s foot was ripped out from under her, the shapeshifter’s face slamming into the dirt before her whole body shot backward as the sword retracted.</p><p class="p3">Byleth approached forward, weapon raised. Eyes burning.</p><p class="p3">With superhuman agility, Kronya rolled back over and fell into a crouched-ready position with her blade.</p><p class="p3">“You're a fool to be so brazen,” she barked. “Relying on others to do the dirty work for you. You’ll never avenge your father at this rate. I'll have to kill you too! With my own hands!”</p><p class="p3">Byleth didn’t answer her threat. Instead, she held her stance and continued to step closer.</p><p class="p3">“You’ve failed as bait,” she said plainly, sword pulsing. “Did you learn nothing from your time at the academy, <em>Monica?</em>”</p><p class="p3">Claude bit his lip.</p><p class="p3">This was an attempt to turn the tables. Kronya’s plan was to antagonize with mockery and threats, and Blyeth was throwing that right back in her face.</p><p class="p3">She was trying to uphold her end of their promise by squeezing more information out of her father’s killer.</p><p class="p3">Slowly, he advanced closer. From the corner of his eye, he could see Leonie, having unmounted her horse, doing the same with her lance. He was thankful she was giving Teach a chance instead of just charging to run Kronya through.</p><p class="p3">The shapeshifter, quickly peering around herself, could see that she was being boxed in.</p><p class="p3">And she laughed.</p><p class="p3">“Haha! Oh, I <em>learned</em> something alright! I learned that pathetic old men–” Leonie’s lance twitched in her hands “–are as dumb as they appear. You know, you don’t <em>look</em> much like your dearly deceased dad, but I do think you inherited his stupidity.”</p><p class="p3">With a quick sideways swing of her arm, Kronya’s blade was now spinning through the air towards Leonie. Too fast to intercept.</p><p class="p3">Leonie, who had always boasted good reflexes, was able to dodge out of the blade’s trajectory just in time. But the sword didn’t stop. It flew further down the field, spinning and swishing until burying itself right into the side of Leonie’s horse. The poor creature let out a pained wail, buckling and falling over from the force of the blade to its innards.</p><p class="p3">And it was just enough of a jarring distraction to give Kronya back her edge.</p><p class="p3">She was now charging Claude with a small dagger, and realizing she was quickly becoming too close to snipe down, he tossed aside his bow and grabbed for his axe. Kronya got just close enough for him to see her mockingly wink at him before coming to an abrupt halt and turning ninety degrees. The tip of the Sword of the Creator lashed out to strike her legs, but Kronya dodged just in the nick of time by breaking out into a sprint towards the pavilion further in the field.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>Fuck!</em>
</p><p class="p3">He had fallen for the same kind of feint he used on her not a moment ago. Hurriedly, he dropped his axe to swipe his bow back off the ground.</p><p class="p3">Then a cry rang out. And Claude looked up to see Kronya halfway to the stone pavilion, fallen on the ground with an arrow in her ankle again.</p><p class="p3">Yellow and orange fletching.</p><p class="p3">To his side, a little further up, Leonie stood with a <em>now-empty</em> quiver. Lowering her bow.</p><p class="p3">“We aren’t done with you yet,” she said.</p><p class="p3">Byleth was already sprinting off toward Kronya’s downed body.</p><p class="p3">“Stay back! Watch each other!” she yelled over her shoulder.</p><p class="p3">Leonie gripped her weapon tightly, her shoulders squaring. “Professor!” she shouted indignantly.</p><p class="p3">Claude stepped forward to stand by Leonie, watching his teacher give chase to Kronya, who was finally limping and tripping as she ran away.</p><p class="p3">The rest of the class came up from behind to join them. For the second time, he felt Hilda clutch at his arm. This time, much more desperately.</p><p class="p3">“Are we really just going to let her run off by herself?” she asked, concern dripping off each word.</p><p class="p3">“Yeah…” Sylvain spoke up. “This seems…”</p><p class="p3">“Stupid,” Felix finished. “Does she have a death wish?”</p><p class="p3">Claude shook his head. “Kronya is leading Teach into a trap. We’d be fools to follow her like lemmings into it.”</p><p class="p3">Leonie white-knuckled her bow before slamming it into the ground, letting out a frustrated growl. “And what are we?! <em>Smart</em> for letting her barrel into death alone? This is <em>exactly</em> how Captain Jeralt was killed! By himself! In the middle of a fucking field!”</p><p class="p3">Claude could feel his own frustrations bubbling up. His own feelings of inadequacy. Kronya was now tripping onto the pavilion. Looking like she was pleading for her life as Byleth continued to approach.</p><p class="p3">And he could see Byleth, raising her sword not to strike, but to intimidate.</p><p class="p3">He could remember her words…</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em>“They knew I’d follow eventually.”</em>
</p><p class="p3">
  <em>“I want answers too, Claude. For me, and for you. But I want them dead as well."</em>
</p><p class="p3">
  <em>“I promise. Let’s get what we both want.”</em>
</p><p class="p3">
  <em>“Nobody will die under my watch. Never again.”</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">He pushed down his insecurities and put on a smile. If he was a fool for believing in her, then he’d proudly be the biggest idiot in the world.</p><p class="p3">“Teach <em>knows</em> that, Leonie. And she would never let herself die in the same way. She’s sworn to protect us after all.”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>She promised…</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">In an instant, Solon appeared on the pavilion.</p><p class="p3">Even from a distance, the class could hear Kronya’s pleas for assistance. They all watched those pleas go unanswered.</p><p class="p3">They watched in shock as Solon clawed into her chest with enough force to lift her off her feet. They heard the shapeshifter’s guttural screams before he ripped out her heart.</p><p class="p3">And they all could only watch as darkness consumed the pavilion, and their precious professor’s silhouette disappeared with the smoke.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">Claude felt his blood run cold.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">Distantly, he recognized that the moment that haze appeared, his feet had carried him closer to the action. His classmates hot on his heels for the same reason.</p><p class="p3">Concern for their teacher.</p><p class="p3">“Wh-what was that?” Hilda gasped. “Where did you go, Professor?!”</p><p class="p3">The group was now close enough to see him. Solon. Once again jeering at them only a short distance away.</p><p class="p3">“They were swallowed by the mystical darkness of the forbidden spell,” he explained with disdain. “An eternity wandering in a void of darkness, never to return to this world… To think we almost had the Sword of the Creator…"</p><p class="p3">There was something about that wording that kickstarted Claude’s mind back on. Enough for him to ignore the creeping dread in his chest. He could feel the gears in his mind start to turn. <em>Wandering…</em></p><p class="p3">
  <em>She’s not dead.</em>
</p><p class="p3">“I don't believe anything you say! Our professor is still alive!” Lysithea shouted out, magic now swirling dangerously at her fingertips.</p><p class="p3">“That's right!” Flayn stomped forward. “Our professor is no ordinary human!”</p><p class="p3">
  <em>That’s right.</em>
</p><p class="p3">Byleth would never just let herself be taken away from her beloved students.</p><p class="p3">He could almost hear her scoff, <em>“As though I’d give them the opportunity.”</em></p><p class="p3">A stubborn, arrogant smirk pulled up Claude’s lips. “I refuse to believe that Teach would die in a place like this!”</p><p class="p3">The old wizard bore his teeth. “It is possible that death has yet to find your friend. But there are worse things than death.” He grinned back mockingly. “Drifting through the darkness with no chance to escape… Overwhelmed with hopelessness… It must be torturous.”</p><p class="p3">Claude wouldn’t let these malign taunts get to him. If Byleth wasn’t here, it was up to him to lead. To put on a brave face and uplift their morale.</p><p class="p3">“Hey, all I hear is good news,” he waved away Solon’s words like they were flies. “Teach is still alive. And if that's true, then there's only one thing to do. Defeat you while we wait for Teach's triumphant return!</p><p class="p3">Still at his side, Leonie raised her lance up to point its tip at the wizard before them. “Prepare yourself. We will avenge our leader here and now!”</p><p class="p3">Solon sneered. “How trite. But if you wish for pain, I shall oblige. If you prefer it so, you shall also be added to the ranks of the dead!”</p><p class="p3">But before he could unleash any kind of dark magic onto them, a glowing red fissure ripped open the sky before them. Like a gash onto one’s skin.</p><p class="p3">And emerging from that impossible space was Byleth.</p><p class="p3">With glowing, pale green hair and matching, vibrant eyes. Fury worn openly on her face. She descended down like a divine deity.</p><p class="p3">Solon stepped back in horror. “What did you see in the darkness of Zahras? This should be impossible! The only being that can withstand that darkness is…”</p><p class="p3">He didn’t get the chance to finish his thought.</p><p class="p3">The extended tip of the Sword of the Creator ripped right through his chest, just as Byleth’s feet touched the ground.</p><p class="p3">For a few heavy seconds, there was nothing but silence. The glow from their professor’s hair fading away along with the rift.That quiet moment was interrupted only when the sword retracted back, ripping away more of Solon’s innards. The old wizard fell heavily onto his knees.</p><p class="p3">Grasping at nothing, he rasped out, “But this is not the end… Thales will carry out our mission, somehow…”</p><p class="p3">And their mission was over.</p><p class="p3">“Teach…”</p><p class="p3">Shoulders slumping with victory, Byelth turned to look at her students. A small smile replacing the wrath that had been there not a minute ago.</p><p class="p3">Claude smiled back.</p><p class="p3">“You are Teach, right?” he couldn’t help but tease. “I always believed in you... I knew you could cut your way out of anything.”</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em>I knew I could trust you.</em>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Crawls out of a bottomless pit* Hello, and thanks for reading!</p><p>Going to have to take that whole "updates every one to two weeks" thing out of the summary, huh?</p><p>Anyway, the fight in the Sealed Woods is finally here! I really wanted to narrow the focus down to Byleth, Leonie, and Claude vs Monica. Sorry – Kronya. A lot of this chapter is also just in-game dialogue. Oops for that. Hopefully, all the stuff in between makes it feel a bit more unique. (Tender moments with Dorte 🐎❤️)</p><p>The title of this chapter is lyrics from the song Through the Fire and Flames by DragonForce. Idk, the energy of it seemed fitting. It's a song about "escaping hell," which can be taken both literally and figuratively, lol. The fight to be free from the horrors of hell felt like a good metaphor for The Golden Deer vs TWSITD.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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